Page 40 of CHASE: Captive to the Dark

“You will not get flogged tonight.”

A sigh of relief left me and I reached forward, wondering if he was close enough to touch. All I came up with was air. My arm was still extended when a lamp turned on from the bedside table. I turned, unable to stop myself from rising at the sight of the crop in his hand.

“You’re going to come to see that there is much more to fear in the light than in the dark, little one. Shadows may mask the things that scare us, but the light reveals the true depth of the monster. The truth is always more terrifying than imagination.”

The look in his eyes had me limping back a step. What was he planning to do to me? With that stare, I was suddenly too afraid to find out. Even before, when he had unleashed, he never held this much power. If power were even an accurate word. Sadist, yes, I knew he was, but he held an evil aura. One that made me fight whether to try to make a run for it or crawl into a ball and beg him to take it easy.

“So…the crop, then?”

“To begin with.” He came forward, studying me as his eyes narrowed. His head was already lowered—already anticipating my escape. But I wouldn’t give it to him. I’d take this punishment. Besides, if I fought, it was only going to worse. What I wanted was what was going to come afterward: the care. The cuddling and pride he displayed when I’d given in before. It had me cautiously walking toward the St. Andrew’s cross. At the shake of his head, I stopped. He didn’t look over as he pointed toward the bed. My eyes couldn’t help but raise to the chains suspended in the middle.

Fuck.

I rounded to the far side of the mattress, keeping my distance. God, could I do this? What had overcome me that I’d want to stick around to find out? I should have been fighting like before. Making him restrain me instead of walking over freely. What if this time was going to be different than the first? What if he didn’t put me to sleep or be gentle and tender afterward?

My head shook while I tried to erase the stupid childish thoughts that kept pushing through. I eased onto the bed, moving to the middle on my knees. Anger at myself had my hands shooting toward the cuffs waiting for me.

“Did we not discuss patience? Hands down. If I want you a certain way, I will tell you. First, your pill.” He reached into his pocket, handing over the small circular packet containing my birth control. Why had I not thought of that first? Here I was ready to plunge into hell just so I could be soothed afterward. Something was definitely wrong with me. I could have chosen any man to hold me. It was the dominance and obsessive ways they were lacking.

“Water?”

Chase turned, heading to a sink along the back wall. When he returned and handed me the glass, I tried to get my hands to stop shaking long enough to remove my pill and take it.

“I want to see it on your tongue before you swallow. Then you’re going to open your mouth and let me see that you’re not hiding it.”

“Excuse me?” I snapped. “Are you implying I might try to deceive you into getting pregnant?”

“Just a precaution.”

“You weren’t thinking precautions last night, were you?”

He blinked slowly and his face hardened. “It was my mistake. I was quite swept away with your…beauty.”

“Oh, was that what it was? I thought maybe it had to do with my naked ass lying on the bed, restrained. I wasn’t aware my beauty had anything to do with it at all.”

“Pill, Kit.”

The words were said between clenched teeth and I knew I was pushing it, but I couldn’t stop the anger from what he had accused me of. The last thing I wanted was a child. I was only twenty-two. When I decided to start a family, it was going to be with a man I loved. I was going to be married and already be stable in a job with the degree I was working my ass off for.

I placed the pill on my tongue, swallowed it, and opened my mouth. “Done, thankfully. The last person I’d ever want to get pregnant by is you. God, I don’t even want to imagine what a disaster that would be. A priest.”

The last was almost inaudible. I truly didn’t want to think of that scenario. It was a catastrophe in the making, just like what we were about to do.

Chapter 14

Chase

Kit’s jab shouldn’t have affected me, but it did. I knew it was wrong to accuse her of not attempting to take the pill, but something in my mind wouldn’t let me trust. Not her, not anyone.

Truth was, I could have made myself believe she was good and it wouldn’t have been hard. But I had to keep reminding myself that I didn’t know this woman. Not in the true sense.

It would take me a few weeks to see who the real Kathleen was, and although I was pretty sure of her personality, I wasn’t placing any bets—yet. I’d see her at her best and at her worst. Tonight, I was going to push both. As for her saying she wouldn’t want my child because of who I was…damn if that didn’t get under my skin. Not because I wanted one, but because she put it out there as if I wasn’t worth being a partner in such a momentous thing. It was ridiculous really, but the realization of never having kids fucked up my view on who I was even more. Here I was trying to get inside her head and she says the one thing that completely decimated my frame of mind. Now I was thinking. Now I was wondering. It shouldn’t have been that way.

“Hands up.”

My tone came out more vicious than I’d intended. It had her entire body jolting as I grabbed the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head. I wanted her to fear me. The fear I needed. But it was only one thing I aimed for. I wanted to try for the entire package. I wanted her respect, her undivided attention, her eyes always searching me out, even if I wasn’t allowing her to look in my direction. I wanted her so submissive that she borderlined broken. A slave, in a sense, but more than that. I wanted to be the only thing she cared to have. I wanted to be the water she drank, the air she breathed, everything essential for her to live.

And I’d never get it. I knew this. I’d never have her long enough, and even if I did, I was playing a dangerous game. Somehow, if I programmed her this way, I knew she’d truly be lost without me. What if for some reason something happened and I did end up dead, or Rory managed to take her away? I may have been heartless, but I couldn’t do that to her. Her innocence and age worked against her in both cases. This time, her innocence saved her.

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