Page 32 of CHASE: Captive to the Dark

I obeyed, separating my jaw as my hands pulled against the binds connecting my feet. They were pulled up behind me as I rested on my side and I couldn’t believe my situation. Here I was, hogtied in a secret room full of money and guns, all because of Rory. When was I going to learn? I should have cut ties with him long ago when I’d felt the urge.

A nearly silent curse came from Chase as he fastened it, pulling me from my thoughts. The ball was heavy on my tongue and I tried to ignore the way I liked it. When he appeared back in my vision, his worry faded into something else. Something I recognized all too well.

“Father, they’re pulling in.”

Stoic. Chase cupped my cheek, hardening his expression, even with the tender act. “I’ll be back as soon as I can. You’re going to be alright. I promise. Remember…quiet.”

He stood, following Palo out. As the door shut, the automatic light turned off and darkness engulfed me. It swallowed me whole, feeding on my fears of the night. Even at twenty-two, I was still afraid of what I couldn’t see. It was ridiculous, given I should have been frightened of the men outside even more, but the dark held things I couldn’t stop. Things that triggered what I only wished I could forget. He always came to me when I couldn’t see. Always touched.

“Kit, baby. Wake up.”

Cheap liquor greeted me as I came face to face with the pitch black. The smell brushed against my face while he eased his hand under my shirt to play with my breasts. Dark, yes. He always made it so. Even insisted my mom put blankets over my curtains to make it darker. I’d sleep better, he assured her. It would help with the nightmares if I was in the dark and cold.

No, I couldn’t be here like this.

A small sound escaped and I closed my eyes, trying to pretend the light was on. No matter how hard I tried, it didn’t work. Real darkness didn’t equal light. I was captive in my past, just as much as I was here in this room. Here with Chase.

“You have to be quiet, baby. You don’t want your mom hearing. What do you think she’d do if she saw us like this?”

“Mmm-mph” My head shook and my lids flew open. I tried searching out a glow from the bottom of the door, but with the panel in front of it, there was nothing. Sweat began to cover my skin and my deep exhales were almost deafening.

“Feels good, doesn’t it? You like when I touch you. Look how wet you’re getting. You wouldn’t be this wet if you didn’t like it.”

It was a lie. One I couldn’t make sense of and it left the guilt festering. “Uh-uh.” I pulled against the rope, squeezing my legs together while I tried to straighten them. Anything to stop the phantom touch and voices in my head. Peter was dead. Had been for years. I was fine. I’d beaten this when I left at sixteen. There was nothing to be afraid of anymore.

“You feel that? You’re almost there. You’ll be able to take me soon. You want me, don’t you, baby?”

“No,” repeated in my head and I turned my face more into the wooden floor. Drool fell free of my lips and nausea had me once again trying to breathe. God, if I got sick, what would happen? The ball took up almost all of my mouth. I couldn’t be sick. I couldn’t, I’d probably die, suffocating on my own vomit.

“Kathleen? Peter?”

Faster, my pulsed raced. The rough rope burned into my wrists while I twisted and tried to roll myself around. How many years had it been since I’d been in the dark? Fuck, I didn’t even know. Since I’d left? Yes. So long ago.

Voices mingled with my heartbeat and I blinked rapidly, wondering if they were in my head or someone was in the closet. I couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think as I tried to calm.

“What are you doing in here, Peter?”

My mom’s slurring voice grated my ears and I could still see her standing before me, a cigarette between her fingers, the strap to her nightgown hanging off her shoulder as she looked between us suspiciously. He’d heard her coming. He’d been ready. The covers were now pulled up to my neck from my own doing and I couldn’t stop shaking. Just like now. I was positively trembling.

“Another nightmare. I heard her when I was going to get me another beer. She’s okay now.”

“Fucking nightmares. Seriously, Kathleen, you’re fifteen already. What is there to be afraid of? You have it so easy. The real nightmare comes after you grow up. With the way you’re going, it’s going to eat you alive. Now go back sleep for Christ’s sake.”

My mom staggered from the room, flipping the light off behind her. Leaving me with Peter. The laugh that shook my bed ignited my fears. No matter how many times I told him to stop, it never worked. And I’d told my mother once, years ago. She said I just wanted attention. She didn’t even remember the next morning due to her drinking.

“She’ll be passed out again in a few minutes. I’ll be back, baby.”

Heat billowed from my skin while the silence had me ears thrumming. What felt like forever passed. My breaths against the floor helped try to calm the anxiety, but my skin crawled. What almost appeared as fingertips traced over my shoulder and the ball vibrated in my mouth from the sounds that left me. He was coming back. He always came back. This time he’d really hurt me. He’d—

“Kit. Kit.”

“Uh-uh” My face turned more into the floor and I shook it back and forth repeatedly while I squeezed my lids shut. I couldn’t do this anymore. I had to leave. To run far, far away.

“Kit.”

A hand locked onto my waist and I felt myself go wild. Light broke through my panicked state and Chase stared down at me, alarmed. As my thrashing stilled, the sobs came while I tried to curl into myself. I gagged, not able to hold it anymore. His hands shot up, fumbling as he ripped the ballgag out of my mouth.

“I’m going to be sick,” I rushed out. “Get me out of these.” I jerked frantically as he pulled at the knots. His gentle voice calmed me while I fought for stability in my mind.

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