Page 12 of Threatened

“After Uncle Derek died, I took time off of school to reflect on what I really wanted in life,” Gage continued. “That’s when I decided to enlist. To honor my father’s memory and to try and regain some direction in my life.”

“Did it work?” she asked, more interested in his answer than she cared to admit. He had way more depth and layers than she’d expected.

“It did. For ten years. But then I felt I needed to…to leave my team.” He’d hesitated, and she wonder why. “I took a desk job with the Navy at first, but it wasn’t a good fit. Finally, I decided to separate from the military altogether. I had just started some security work when Tucker and Christine’s accident happened. Now, here I am.” His expression was unreadable. “On paternity leave, with two kids and no idea what the hell I’m doing.”

The words struck so close to home that for a minute all Kylie could do was blink at him. Then she stood and began to clear their plates away. All this time, she’d managed to focus only on the idea that she was the twins’ blood family, that she knew best, that they belonged with her. To have those notions shaken now was disconcerting. After what had happened earlier today, and her reckless behavior chasing after the guy with the twins in tow, she wasn’t so sure she was the best guardian for the babies anymore. Maybe they were better off with Gage. He had a home, a stability to his life that she currently lacked. Too bad they couldn’t stay like this, living together, raising the twins together…

Kylie glanced toward where the babies played. They’d been content throughout the meal. She let herself indulge in the fantasy of both her and Gage being there for them for about five seconds before shoving that idea firmly aside. It was ridiculous to even consider it. Wasn’t it?

Yes, of course it was. Gage had his life, she had hers. Their two lives wouldn’t meet because they couldn’t meet. No amount of aligning chi and rearranging space could make that happen.

Gage felt like a complete ass as he pushed to his feet to help. Why the hell did he have to bring up his past and all that death and then ramble on about it? Nothing put a quick kibosh on a nice dinner faster than bringing up all your deceased relatives. It was a stupid thing to have shared with her so openly.

Promising himself not to bring it up again, he carried the dishes over to the counter while she continued to avoid looking at him and buzzed around putting away the leftovers. He hadn’t beenlying when he said it was nice having her around. He’d come to love the twins more than life itself, but still. Baby gibberish and squeals were no substitute for adult companionship.

Talking to Kylie about his parents and his uncle had got him thinking about his past though. Got him thinking about the future, too, and what he really wanted. Honestly, he’d spent so much time focused on his independence, he’d avoided becoming tied down to anyone. But he’d had more than enough proof now that life was short, and that it could end at any moment. What did he want his legacy to be? He was a father now—what choice for his future would be best for his kids? For the first time, he was seriously considering a wife, a partner to help raise the twins and maybe to have more children with.

Not that Kylie was that person. She had a big-time international career going, even if he had only a vague idea what it was she actually did—beyond the idea that it was interior decorating with a twist. Lots of creativity and artsy-fartsy stuff. Way different from his well-planned, well-organized life. Truthfully, they were polar opposites. He liked his order, liked research and planning and preparedness. She liked spontaneity and energy vibes and flying by the seat of her pants. They had no business even contemplating some kind of joint custody thing with the twins. For all he knew, she’d be on the next plane to somewhere exotic just as soon as her next client booked a furniture rearrangement. So, why then could he not seem to shake the notion of them co-parenting?

Because he was losing his mind, that’s why. There was no other explanation.

He barely knew Kylie. The only other time he’d met her before this was at Tucker’s wedding, for Christ’s sake. And sure, she was pretty and funny and damned brave considering a lot of peoplewould’ve been terrified if they’d gotten mugged in the park. Not Kylie though. She’d gone after the guy. Reckless? Yes. Brave? Undeniably so.

Still, the rational part of his brain refused to abandon ship and let him run headlong into disaster. That just wasn’t the way he operated. He led with his intellect, not his emotions—the consequences were disastrous when he let his feelings distract him. He’d proven that to himself in a way that he’d never forget—and his teammates, his friends, had paid the ultimate price. He let himself remember that for a moment before putting it back in its box and filing it away in his brain. It was important to remember his catastrophic mistake, but it wasn’t healthy to dwell on it.

What he needed to do was step back, reassess things between him and Kylie with a clear and logical eye. Forget the kiss, like he’d said, and stick with his original plan of raising the kids on his own. Lots of people did that. He could, too.

Kylie finished boxing up the pasta and putting it into the fridge while he shoved the leftover garlic bread into a plastic baggie. Feeling like he needed to say something to break the silence, Gage went with the first thing that popped into his head. “You’re doing really well with the twins. I figure taking care of them now is good practice for when you have your own someday.”

She stiffened beside him at the counter, and Gage got the distinct impression he’d stepped in it somewhere again, though he wasn’t sure exactly where. Before he could ask her what was wrong, she’d wiped her hands off on a dish towel and started out of the kitchen.

“Since the babies are quiet, I’m going to take a shower,” Kylie said as she headed down the hall. “Thanks again for dinner. It was really great.”

Once again, Gage was left behind, watching her walk away. Just like with the kiss. Avoidance must be her go-to defense mechanism when things got messy. At least, messy emotionally. While keeping an eye on the kids, he finished putting away the remains of their dinner and cleaning up the kitchen, humming to himself as he went and reminding himself that this was exactly why relationships never worked out for him. His last girlfriend, the one he’d been dating before his last, disastrous tour in Afghanistan, had complained he’d been too distant, too cold. At the time, he’d been exhausted from fighting with her about it all the time, so he’d just dropped it. Later, after he’d returned home, still knee-deep in grief over his lost teammates, he hadn’t had the emotional bandwidth left to try and mend their relationship, so they’d both agreed to end it.

But now, with Tucker and Christine gone and the twins under his care, emotional connections were more important than ever. And more difficult than ever, too. He doubted himself and doubted his ability to ever forge real bonds with anyone. What if his girlfriend had been right? What if he was incapable of connecting with anyone deeply? What if he failed the twins? What if…

The sound of running water from the shower echoed down the hall as he settled on the sofa to watch some TV and hopefully get his head back on straight. Doubting himself now, no matter how justified, wouldn’t help matters. Besides, Kylie wasn’t his girlfriend. They were temporary housemates and shared a connection because of the kids. Nothing more. The sooner heremembered that and kept his life and his heart to himself, the better.

7

The next morning, Kylie was up early determined to put the stress of the previous day behind her and get on with things. Never mind the way that Gage’s comment about her having kids of her own someday was still stuck in her head. Never mind the way that her last boyfriend had broken up with her because she couldn’t give him babies. Never mind that Gage Winters was not now, nor would he ever be, her boyfriend. One kiss did not a relationship make.

Even if said kiss still made her insides shiver with want.

She dialed the number to the social security office on her cell phone, then walked over to the windows in the living room to stare out at the sunny day beyond. She’d managed to get through to her credit card companies the night before to cancel her existing cards and get new ones issued, but she had only gotten a recording from the government when she’d called. Typical.

Luckily, there’d been no activity on her cards yet, so that was good, she supposed, if a bit odd. When she’d been in college, she’d lost her purse at a party once, and within a few hours,whoever had taken it had racked up over a thousand dollars in charges to her account. The call to the social security office picked up and she entered robo-hell. Hit one for English. Hit three to report a lost card. Enter number. Wait. Wait. Hold for the next available human.

With a sigh, Kylie glanced back at Gage, who was still feeding the twins in the kitchen. He was smiling at them as he moped up applesauce running off Brennan’s chin. To her, he’d been quieter this morning, more distant. But maybe that was for the best. The more they kept to themselves, the easier things would be all around.

She already liked the guy far more than she should, given that she was here to possibly take the twins away from him. And yes, so far, he’d been a perfect doting dad—changing them, feeding them, playing with them, even singing them to sleep at night. He probably didn’t know she’d overheard that last one, but since she was sleeping on the sofa and the nursery was just right down the hall and everything, it was hard not to catch his rendition of “O-o-h Child.”

A burst of warmth spread from her chest outward to her extremities at the memory. So sweet.

“Thank you for calling the Social Security Administration. My name is Ben. Please repeat the last four digits of your social security number for safety reasons.”

The guy’s voice jarred her from her reverie and Kylie did as he asked before relaying the story of her stolen wallet for the umpteenth time and finally getting confirmation from him that her card would be reissued. Ben also gave her a stern warning about carrying her card in her wallet. Yeah, she got that. It wouldn’t happen again.

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