Page 62 of Pity Pact

TIM

Paige is clearly the star of the night, and I’m enjoying watching her shine. She’s gone from embarrassment at being seen in her pajamas to totally owning her situation. I can’t take my eyes off her.

I don’t go through the buffet line until everyone else has their meals. While looking for an empty seat, I notice Paige is at a table with three men who are eagerly competing for her attention. Chip and Brittany are off in a corner together, outwardly already a couple. My gaze finally lands on Cami, who’s eating with Jake and one other woman.

Walking over to them, I ask, “May I join you?”

“Tim.” Cami smiles. “Of course, sit down.” I take the chair next to her.

The other woman at the table says, “Hi there, my name is Adele.”

“You’ve got some pretty big shoes to fill, huh?” I think I’m being funny, but Adele doesn’t appear to agree.

She looks down at her feet. “They’reonly a seven-and-a-half.”

“I meant the singer,” I tell her. “Not your actual feet.”

“Oh.” If I had to guess, this Adele is not a social firecracker.

Jake says, “Thanks for letting me cook in your kitchen today, Tim.”

I feel a little bit kinder toward him being that he’s not sitting with Paige. “I’m sorry we didn’t have the ingredients you needed to make your pho.”

Cami lifts a lettuce wrap in front of her. “I think you did very well with what you had.” Wait a second, is she flirting with Jake? What happened to her flirting withme?

A myriad of thoughts crosses my mind like if Paige is being fought over by multiple men, and Cami is into Jake, then who am I going to make Eva jealous with? I wish I were over the idea of revenge, but my heart isn’t listening to my brain.

Jake smiles at Cami. “I hope you like the bread, too.”

“I’m sure it’s wonderful.” She gives him a long look. Meanwhile, I stare down at the bread on my plate and frown. The roll is so dense I could probably throw it across the room and break a window.

While Cami and Jake chat, Adele and I focus on our food. The cheeseburger casserole is so outstanding, I’m tempted to go back for seconds. Jake’s lettuce rolls are fine, but nothing special, and I don’t even bother with the bread.

When I spot the cameraman heading in our direction, I realize I’m about to look like a world-class dud on national television. I need to join the conversation and save face ASAP, so I ask my tablemates, “What are your favorite hobbies?”

The cameraman arrives in time to catch Jake’s response. “I like to knit.”

Adele perks up for the first time all night. “Me, too! I’m making my cat a cable knit sweater right now.”

“Cable knit is tough.” There’s no irony in Jake’s tone. There’s also no judgment that her cat is the beneficiary of her skill.

“No, but it’s way easier than the double-knit stitch,” she tellshim authoritatively. They share a look of understanding. Meanwhile, I feel like I’m having a fever dream.

Inserting myself into the conversation, I ask, “So, knitting, huh? That’s an interesting hobby.”

Adele immediately assumes I’m gender stereotyping and demands, “Why? Because he’s a man?”

Before I can take my foot out of my mouth, Cami comes to my defense. “It’s not a common hobby for men, is it?”

“Mean Joe Green was a knitter,” Adele tells us. I’m more than a bit surprised she knows the names of vintage football players—or maybe she just knows knitters.

“I remember my grandfather mentioning that,” I tell her. Then to Jake, I add, “I was in no way trying to suggest you weren’t masculine.”

“No worries, dude. I know it’s not something you hear of a lot of men doing.” He pantomimes like he’s knitting a scarf. “But it’s totally meditative. It’s a great way to unwind after a long night of cooking.”

The table goes dead quiet, and I realize this is going to be the most boring scene in the whole show if I don’t keep the conversation moving. “What about you, Adele? What do you like to do?”

Her eyes flicker left, then right, like she’s about to spill government secrets—that the camera will surely catch—before saying, “I practice tantric yoga.” As an afterthought, she adds, “In the nude.”

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