“Are you?Because you threatened to call that off.”
“I’msorry,” I whisper.“I shouldn’t have said that, but I’m just worried about my family taking advantage of you.I don’t want my dirty laundry becoming yours.And with me in the spotlight now, that could happen in so many ways.”
“Your family is not you.You’ll get ratings with a scandal.They’ll just get scandal.”
“I’m talking about you, Damion.”
“Sticks and stones, baby, as you used to say to me when we were kids.The only thing that will break me is losing you again.And as for dirty laundry, as if mine hasn’t haunted you your entire life.”His expression softens.“Adam told me that you told your mother you’d do anything to protect me.”
“Adam has a big mouth, but yes.I did.And I meant it.I will.Always.I need you to know that, Damion.”
“You’re the only person in my life that I don’t pay that I believe has my back.And I have yours.”
“I know that, too,” I say, swallowing against the dryness in my throat while worry works a number on my heart.“I’m sure Adam told you, but my mom wanted me to come over tonight.She said she and my father had a huge fight.She said it was about his gambling, but I suspect it was about your father.”
“Why didn’t you go over?Walker would have taken you.”
“Because I know you’re right about how I’ve handled them.I need to end this vicious cycle of enabling them.I’m just not sure how.And truth be told, I was really—correction, Iam—reallyangry with her over that junk with your father today, but I didn’t say anything.I was afraid my attention on the matter would just get back to your father and offer him satisfaction.”
“It would have, but at some point, you’re also the only person who can jolt your mother back to reality, and that has to be what comes first.”His lips press together.“I was thinking about your mother today.”
Nerves dance in my belly, telling me this is more than a simple replay of events.“And?”I dare tentatively.I love her.I desperately want her to be safe, but I don’t know if I even know who she is anymore.“What about my mother?”
“I worry she’s as much a target as you are.Hurting her hurts you, and therefore, me.”
It’s a brutal truth, and a chill slides down my spine with the validation of my fears.I hug myself.“I thought of the same thing after talking to her tonight.I’m worried she’s just a bird in his palm waiting to be crushed.”
“As am I.Walker is going to get someone watching them, but there are limits to what they can do without the person’s consent.”
“I know that.And they’re both living on a ledge, dangerously close to a falling off.””
“I wish I could say you’re wrong.”His lips set, and he considers me a moment before he says, “I handled tonight wrong, Alana, but the way they manipulate you and take advantage of you does not sit well with me.”He surprises me then, releasing me and leaning on the sink behind him, considering me and the situation.“Look, baby, I’ll empty my bank account for them if that’s what you want, but—”
“No.God, no.”I erase the space between us; the space I feel as a divide my parents’ demands could easily make permanent.“This is exactly what I was afraid of.I do not want them seeing you as a bigger bank, Damion.I’m embarrassed enough that you already bailed them out once.I can’t let that happen again.”
His hands press to my sides, and his touch is a sweet relief.“You have nothing to be embarrassed about with me,” he says.“Ever.”
His words matter, they do, and I know he means them, but there is more to this statement than the simple context; a deeper meaning radiating in his tone and in his energy that gives me pause.“You know the same is true with me.And you know what?I don’t want you forced into telling me anything.I won’t believe anything your father says, anyway.Tell me when you’re ready.”
His chin lifts, and his gaze with it, and he seems to struggle with words before pinning an unreadable stare on me.“Get dressed.I want you out of this place.I want you home with me, but I also know you well enough to know we need to go see your mother.”
“No, I’m okay,” I say quickly.“I told her no.”
“And I’m telling you yes.Alana, if something happens to either of them, you will never forgive yourself.We’ll go by there on the way home, and I can stay in the car or go up with you.”
I should move.I should be all-in with where this is headed, but my mind rejects his plan and does so with certainty.Just moments before, he shut me down when I told him he had nothing to be embarrassed about with me, shut me down cold with a change of topic.That’s what this is: him using my mother to shift the attention off of himself and what he feels is some failure I won’t be able to live with, and back to me.
And I can’t let that happen.
Iwon’tlet that happen.
I wrap my arms around him, tilt my chin up, and meet his shuttered stare.“I know everything I need to know about you, Damion.So, I repeat, I won’t believe anything your father says to me.No matterwhathe says to me.Tell me your truth when you’re ready, Damion, and not a moment sooner.”
His expression transforms into dark lines and shadows, his lashes lowering, seconds ticking by before he says, “The problem is, I’ll never be ready, Alana.”
“Then don’t tell me.”
“Ihaveto tell you, and not because of my father.Because I don’t want us to be like our parents.Because you need to know who you’re spending your life with.I just hoped to have time to let you see that I’m still me, I’m still the man you’ve always known, before I did.But that bastard is going to take that from me and us.”