Page 120 of The Billionaire Is Back

“I know they broke up. Look at him. He’s a Godforsaken hollowed-out shell of a man. You don’t think I’ve heard it all from your mother?”

“Then you know what happened,” I remark flatly.

My father shakes his head. “No, I don’t. I ran into Jake the other day. According to him, she was just as miserable as you are the last time he saw her. That doesn’t sound like two people who should be broken up.”

“Jake won’t talk to me. Not that I blame him. And it’snot exactly a breakup. I don’t think. She just doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me when I physically can’t be here most of the time. I’m going to be so busy coming up…” I realize, as I say it, how many times I’ve uttered that exact sentence recently to the people I love the most.

“You miss her this much, and you haven’t called her?” my dad asks, genuinely confused. “Or sent her a text message?”

I scrub my face with my hand. I haven’t shaved in two and a half days, and the sound of my stubble scraping against my palm probably echoes across the harbor. Maybe Claire will hear it, wherever she is. “She doesn’t want me to call her,” I groan. “I don’t think. I have no idea. She told me to go. If I call her, then I’m the guy who can’t even give her space for a day. I don’t know. Should I text her just so she can tell me she never wants to hear from me again?”

“She’ll be mad no matter what you do at this point,” Damien explains with the confidence of a guy who’s made many, many girls mad in his life.

I rub the back of my neck, totally confused as to what to do. This is unfamiliar territory for me. The confusion about how to proceed and the uneasy feeling that I can’t say the right thing to get what I want. “I have no idea what to do,” I say on an exhale. “I don’t know how to fix this.” Two sentences I have never thought or said out loud before.

“You know, I’ve always been a little in awe of you,” my dad muses.

That snaps my attention to my father. I am absolutelydepressed, but I don’t think it gets much better than that level of validation from your father. “Really?”

He nods with a knowing, fatherly grin. “Yeah. I don’t know where you got that drive. We don’t come from money. We don’t have connections. We don’t even have good luck. You just manifested all of it through sheer force of will. It’s really impressive.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

“But honestly, I don’t know what the point of all that money is if you can’t do what you want.”

“Money has its limits. I can’t move New York City right next to Beacon Harbor. I have too much responsibility to too many people to give Claire the time and energy she deserves.”

Damien finally sits up. “I always felt bad for you,” he says. Both my father’s and my attention snaps to my brother. My younger-brother-is-being-annoying alarm threatens to go off. But Damien doesn’t look like he’s picking a fight. He actually looks like he legitimately feels bad for me.

“What do you mean?”

He gives me a half grin and shakes his head before looking out over the horizon. “I mean I was in awe of you like everyone else. Like Dad. And also pissed off and scared because you were the golden boy. I could never live up to that. But I saw what it did to you. That drive you can’t turn off. You were never really here.”

“I know I’ve missed a lot of holidays and time with you guys?—”

Damien shakes his head mechanically, indicating that I’m just not getting it. “No. Even when you were here,living here with us. You were neverhere. Your mind was always on the next thing. I know you’ve always felt bad for me. Maybe I’m not exactly where I want to be. But I’ve had fun. I live my life the way I want to live it.”

It’s my turn to nod and look meaningfully off into the distance. I must really be in a terrible state if Damien of all people is making sense to me. “I can’t turn it off.”

“Why not?” my dad asks gently.

“I saw what it did to you, Dad. I saw what nearly losing your business and the house did to you.” I look over at Damien. He has no idea what I’m talking about. “Damien was too young. But I remember. I more than remember. Maybe all that stress is why your heart is the way it is.”

My father looks completely taken aback. I’ve never told him this, never spoken it aloud with my family. This thing that shaped who I am—I’ve never talked about it with the people who shaped me.

“Hey, listen,” he says when he finally finds the words. “I had no idea you were aware of all that, and I sure as hell wish you weren’t. I’m not going to say that time was fun for anyone. But I guess I don’t look at it that way. Honestly, these last few weeks, ever since I thought maybe there was a chance I was having a heart attack, I’ve been thinking the exact opposite.”

Now I’m taken aback. “What do you mean?”

“Maybe the stress of trying to provide for my family damaged my heart. Maybe. Who knows? But maybe this old heart of mine keeps on ticking because it has a reason to. You. And your brother. And your mother. Without you guys, I don’t know why it would have kept going.”

I sit with that for a long time. We all do.

“We’ve seen what this thing that drives you can do for you,” my dad finally continues. “We’ve seen how it can drive you away. I just hope it doesn’t push away the person who finally makes you feel at home. Know what I mean?”

All I can say now is “Yeah. I hope so too. I’m sorry I wasn’t here, Dad.”

“It’s okay, Grady. I get it. But I’m glad you’re here now. Because I understand always wanting more. I can never get enough ofthis.” He gestures between me and my brother and the boat and the sea.

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