Page 99 of Crown of Steel

There’s desire, lots of it. But that’s not all. There’s this insatiable hunger to discover more about him, to dig through his past and fight his fears, and if I could promise him that he’ll never be mistreated again by anyone, I would. If he’d believe me.

One day.

Because Régis has me in a chokehold. Me, the person I was, the person I’ve always wanted to be, it’s…I’m stillme, and yet I’m different.

From the moment he openly gave himself to me during our lastsoirée, impaling himself on my lap and clawing at my flesh like the sweet kitten he is, Régis is everywhere. His soft, gentle self has found its roots somewhere into my existence, meandering around my mind and soul like the finest of flowers. And I can’t wait to watch him bloom.

What colours will he have?

After he didn’t qualify for thePrix d’Honneur,Régis’s initial sadness has evaporated, and he seems to have forgiven life for being this narrow-minded. We have even stopped our ongoing back and forth bickering about it.

No, Régis no longer feels like my competitor, although I’m not sure anymore what he represents now. He has always felt like a threat to my future, and perhaps that’s exactly what I should be worrying about. But I can’t put myself through it anymore. We’ve passed that phase. Instead I want to understand this blossoming connection between us. My brain tells me to be careful, but my heart wants to nourish it, make it bloom. This unique, delicate coupling.

The entire family knows that Régis should have won those qualifications. My little stepbrother is intelligent and willing to learn. He’s frank and has a heart for justice, and if it’s within my power, I’ll do anything I can to make sure that he qualifies next year. Having a heart comparable to his might not be a trademark that’s highly valued in the brotherhood, but Deveraux Holding surely does. We allow our family members to flourish and want what’s best for ourselves. But in the process we sometimes step over others, but we do what must be done.

We have spent every single night together since that heartbreaking moment I found him in the cage. That moment all the walls around my little stepbrother come tumbling down.

The moment my heart cracked wide open for him.

Perhaps I shouldn’t have listened to him, but when Régis begged for the cage after our first night, I had it brought inside his room for him. I didn’t want it there but it didn’t seem right to judge him over his attachment to a piece of furniture. Especially one that was so intrinsically connected to a terrible part of his past. I had to allow him to heal in his own way, no matter how I felt about it. So I have done everything I can to prevent him from sleeping in it. How could he in the first place? The kennel is barely big enough for the size of a Mastiff, let alone ahuman being. Knowing Régis, he’d be too fucking stubborn to simply listen to me, so instead I have taken off the lock and have changed the position of the hinges. Now, the door can only be left in an open position, and inside I have put a few pillows and some of his books. The chess board stands on the floor next to the metal cage, and when I came into his room last night, I noticed that he placed some green shrubs around the metal bars.

No, my little stepbrother is not ready to say goodbye to the embodiment of his painful past, but I sure as fuck am ready to finish off the source of his venom. And though I may never understand how he could have ever forced himself to be inside that cage, I can only respect his silent wish to give him more time. And slaughter the monster he dreams of at night.

Right now I’m standing by the entrance to the canteen, leaning against the wall, arms folded in front of my chest. It’s a quiet evening with not much going on. It’s quiet inside the food court, rain pattering against windows that offer nothing but darkness and the reflection of four guys laughing and joking at the only occupied table.

Chess night.

Régis hasn’t seen me yet, even though he knows I’m here to pick him up, since he’s too engrossed in wiping that smug jock’s ass in just a few immaculate moves. Yeah, my little stepbrother plays his chess game mercilessly and adapts on the fly, much like the way I play real life. The thought makes something clench inside my chest. Perhaps that’s one of the reasons why we fit so well together.

“What a dick move,” Jo grunts, his dark eyes flashing when Régis takes his bishop with his knight.

“Well, you had that one coming,” Dominique snickers. He’s looming over Régis’s slight frame, eying the board with a hellish concentration from the looks of it. He has been a good friend to my kitten.

“I still vote for being able to pull back with my pawn,” Jo mutters. “Just one, innocent step?”

“Uh uh,” Régis teases, the sound making my nostrils flare. Is mychatonflirting with the dark haired football star? When Jo looks up with another one of those teasing smirks, a growl vibrates through my chest. Not on my watch.

Right as I want to step in and pluck Régis away from their game, my phone vibrates. Without even having to check the caller ID, I know who it is. Time to go.

“Boys,” I bark, then saunter forward, to where Maxime and Dominique, both standing over the seated players, look up at me in surprise. I don’t miss the way Dominique’s ginger-haired friend winces a little when I get closer, just as I most certainly don’t miss the way Jo jumps out of his seat to shield his friend. Hmm…interesting.

“Chaton, it’s time to head out. Amadou is waiting for us.”

For a hint of a second, Régis just sits there with his back my way, stiff and tense as a pole. Gone is his earlier casual demeanour as the true meaning of my words hit home.

It’s time.

His golden waves have grown a little longer, practically reaching his nape when he tips up his chin and looks through the window to the darkened garden. Then he nods. It’s a slow gesture of his head, followed by a heavy sigh that I can practically feel in my own chest.

Nathalie begged me to accompany Régis at all times, and even though he still doesn’t reply much to her messages, they are in more frequent contact. But it’s in me that his mother confides. I update her about his well-being, and in exchange she has promised me to secure my future if we will confront Dad.

Not if.

When.

Ourfuture.

But first things first, starting with tonight.

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