Page 86 of Crown of Steel

“Please don’t punish me,” Régis sobs, his voice deadly soft, barely a whisper spoken between us, as he repeats it again and again. It scratches my insides, making my chest ache and tense.

Realization hits me hard. He put himself in here.Hedid that. That…breaks my heart.

Régis’ gaze drifts, even though his eyes are trained on me, most likely flicking through his own memories. Searching, but what is it that he recalls?

Exhaling on a deep shudder, I fight my increasing jumbling thoughts. This entire event is one big fucking trigger for my little stepbrother. Why did that couselor not raise a red flag to anyone in the family? Surely they must have talked about all of this?

Why didn’t he tellme?

“I’m not going to punish you,” I mumble, reaching a little deeper inside the kennel. “I promise you, I won’t hurt you. But it’s cold here, and you’re shivering. Can I touch your hands to lead you somewhere safe?”

Fuck, he looks so incredibly fragile, a cloaked mess with his head tucked beneath velvet. That means he didn’t even make it to the actual line-up, unless he’s wearing his uniform under the heavy garment. He’s still wearing the white mask adorned with flowers. The one I gave him.

“No, I—” I can feel his burning stare through the faint light. “I want you to u-understand. I’m broken. You—you…” He shakes his head, then drops his chin back to his chest in defeat.

Unsure of what to do, I stay put, my hands still lingering inside the cage, before I force myself to pull them back and carefully place them on the outside of the bars.

Silence lands over us as we sit there. Régis sits in his cage, and I am leaned on my hunches, guarding the entrance. At least the door’s open, though he’s still too far from me to comfort him.

We stay like this for I don’t know how long. At a certainmoment, the outside noises dim, meaning that all soldiers have now moved on to their moment of relief. Meaning that the battle is over, and the horses will come back at some stage. I send Amadou a quick message to come and get us.

“Back at home, Dad used to throw me in a cage.” The words are barely whispered. He pulls up his mask and slides it back against his forehead, sweeping the golden curl out of his face. “For punishment. I hated it. Hated feeling so helpless. Hated to be bad. But with time, I—I guess I got used to it. It meant that he was at home. He—he wasn’t often at home, but when he punished me, I knew he was there. It meant I wasn’t alone.”

I gingerly slide my fingers over the bars and into his direction. This time he doesn’t seem to notice, his chin still fixated on his chest as he continues his whispers and finally shares those horrific experiences.

“I don’t even know why I’m telling you all this.” His body shudders in an attempt to shrug, and my chest strains.

“I am here.” Rolling my lips in concentration, I take those five extra centimers and cover my digits with his. He flinches, but doesn’t remove his cold fingers. I exhale in relief.

“I was afraid of being alone,” he finally continues. “But I was also afraid of him. You see, Arthur—” He looks up, blue eyes glassy with unshed tears. “I’ve been good, right? I joined the brotherhood, did what you all asked of me. But when they talked of p-punishment, my insides turned into ice.”

“And you came to hide here.”

Régis nods in confession.

I look around the storage space, once more realizing that I need to get him the hell out before anyone returns. “Is this where you go when you stay away for hours?” Bile rises in my throat, and I can’t help squeezing my eyes as I await his reply.

“Yes,” he murmurs. Something explodes in my chest. Oh fucking god, he must have been so alone. So afraid.

“I don’t—” Looking up, I realize that my vision is unclear,watery from tears that leak from my heart. This is fucking killing me. “Can you please,pleasepromise me to stop doing that? We’ll figure it out.”

His body shudders. “I’m pathetic. Always afraid, always fighting everyone off. You don’t—”

“No.” My other hand reaches out before it connects to my brain and carefully grabs hold of his cloaked forearm. “This is not on you, Régis. That fucking bastard had no right to do those things to you.” I pull him closer, surprised that his body moves forward and into my grip without a fight. It doesn’t take much effort to haul him out of the kennel and into my arms. His large, wet eyes peer up at me, matching my own sadness. “He’ll never hurt you again,” I promise. I mean every fucking word of it.

Régis’ smile is small and fragile, and his teeth are clattering. Still he wraps both his hands around my neck. I can’t ignore the gesture of complete trust, and I’d lie if my chest didn’t puff up because of it. To have him cling onto me like the true kitten he is, sniffling and opening up, fills me with the strangest feeling of honor. He’s surrendering to me. My hands reach out around his nape and squeeze him tight.

Despite the tenderness of the moment, I can feel him smile against my cool skin.

“Is my big stepbrother softening up?”

My own lips curl up at the words, and a final tear drops down onto my cheek. I leave it there to roll down, then lick it away. My hands are full anyway, too busy scooping up Régis as I finally manage to drag him out of the kennel completely.

“Maybe?” I tease, then turn serious again. “But this is not how you go down, little stepbrother. My rival is strong, fierce, and a stubborn little fucker.”

We stay hidden in the shed as we wait for Amadou to arrive. All the while I beg for my brothers to stay away. Régis doesn’t speak again, but he has stopped trembling. I have placed myblue jacket over his shoulders, keeping the cloak tight around his huddled frame as he leans in and against my shoulder.

“Will you tell me everything?” I ask, breathing in his hair. I want to know more. I want to know fucking everything. “Please tell me everything.”

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