Page 79 of Crown of Steel

“If you believe that all humans are equal, do you also believe that we should all be given the same chances?”

“What about criminality? Should we reintroduce the death penalty?”

“What punishment does your father really need?”

So far, he hasn’t asked me what really happened between the four walls of our cramped two-bedroom apartment in Nîmes. I wonder if that’s because he already knows, or doesn’t care?

Yeah, Arthur makes me share things I never thought I’d say out loud with anyone one day, because I didn’t think anyone would care.

I don’t know ifhedoes, or if it’s simply part of his bigger game. I never know with my older stepbrother.

Next to me, Dominique clears his throat, his way of starting a conversation. “Did you bring your portable chess game?” The question makes me smile, taking the weight of my heavy thoughts, and I point backwards at the backpack I’m wearing.

“Of course. Which is why I’m so happy you’ll be joining the Deverauxs.”

He doesn’t call me out on my little slip, and I decide that I don’t care for now. After all, going to their big mansion by the sea wasn’t my choice. Instead he huffs out a chortle. His eyes shine with something. Is it me, or is he also relieved?

“Oh, sweet. Then we won’t get bored.” His eyes glitter.

“Who mentions boredom?” We both turn our heads, only to find Gaël sauntering over in his obscene fur coat. Hooking an arm around Dominique’s shoulder, he pulls him close. “The cars are here,trésor. I’ve arranged special entertainment for our journey.” I don’t miss the way he sends Dominique a salacious wink. “And I will promise you this, you won’t be bored.”

Dominique rolls his eyes dramatically.

Louis approaches us with that usual swagger, jaw working as he chewed gum. His shirt is only half tucked inside his pants and his tie is loosely wrapped around his neck. His cheeks are flushed. “Alright lovebirds, time to roll.” When I look past hisshoulder, I catch sight of Mister Montague and send him a clumsy wave that I regret instantly.

“Happy holidays.”

His smile is small, the look in his eyes sincere. “You too, Régis. And the rest of your family.” Sending me a final nod, he turns around and walks away, heading for the South Wing…which I think is a bit odd, but there’s no time to think. The guys have started walking toward the outside parking, and behind my back, the castle already feels cold and empty. Not the kind of place I want to linger on my own.

Outside, three familiar SUVs are already waiting for us, Amadou and Didier chatting on the hood as we arrive. Upon our arrival, they jump up to help us with our suitcases. Our feet crunch into the gravel as we move forward surrounded by students getting ready for the break, eagerly wishing us happy holidays as we pass. Both Gaël and Louis casually greet their friends without slowing down as they make their way to the cars. I follow behind, the inner turmoil increasing with each step. I wonder where Arthur is, but I cut the thought short immediately.

“Mister Régis.” Standing right by a shiny black SUV, Amadou waits for me with a warm, wide smile that makes me feel strangely comfortable. He reaches for my luggage. “It’s good to see you again. I hope that the mini fridge was to your satisfaction.”

Watching him put my stuff in the back of the trunk, I let out an unintelligible mumble, feeling both grateful and a little awkward about Amadou feeding my unhealthy habit. The one that has kept me going over the past month.

My thoughts shoot back to the stables and my iron corner of comfort, chest tightening with something sharp, something close to nostalgia. That place is mine. I created that, in honour of my past. Because of my inability to let go of my pain, of this desperate void of loneliness that seems to haunt me even in thisplace. Although its walls have been breached multiple times now.

Right before he can open the door, I grab hold of his upper arm and gently squeeze. Amadou’s dark, chocolate gaze lands on mine. They look friendly, his eyes. Always have.

“Yeah. I mean, uhm… I don’t know how you managed to get that sorted, but thank you.” His smile widens and he dips his chin lightly.

“De rien.” He swings open the door and I sit down.

Right next to...

“Mother.” My brain stutters, mind coming to a halt, before it slowly picks up in first gear. She smiles, green eyes glimmering like the matching earrings that dangle into the curve of her neck, where they meet with the scarf that’s wrapped around like a colourful collar.

“I wanted to come and pick you up,chéri. To see how you are doing?”

In the front, doors are closed as Amadou settles in the driver’s seat.”Everyone’s here. We’re leaving,” he announces. Turning over my shoulder, I watch Monterrey Castle slide deeper into the background until only the Christmas decorations in the garden are visible. Lights adorn the stone walls of the building, tracing some sort of shape that’s still unclear because of the sun. I wonder what the castle will look like at night, deserted and lit up. A shiver brushes over my skin, leaving nerves in the pit of my stomach.

By the time I finally turn back, we have left school territory, our SUV following the one that transports Gaël and Dominique.

“I wanted to see how you are,” she asks softly. “Since you haven’t replied to my messages.”

Rolling my lips, I wrap my hands together, fisting them into one ball. “I’m fine.”

There’s another silence and we both watch the car slowlymake its way through the forest. When we reach the main road, my mother asks, “Do you still call your father every two days?” When I don’t answer, she lets out a heavy sigh. “What do you need from those phone calls?”

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