Page 16 of Crown of Steel

RÉGIS

“Boys. It’s good to see you again.” Jean-Luc Deveraux stands to greet us when we finally make our way inside the grand room. Our silent walk felt almost as though we were stuck in a maze. Wandering down one narrow hall to another in this secretive castle that’s filled with narrow corridors and plush, thick carpets. With endless walls, decorated with glorious golden scones and large paintings.

I have no idea where we are.

“Come in, come in, we’ve been waiting for you.” He holds out his hand, a warm glow in those dark eyes that are so similar to his sons. His smile seems genuine, though it still feels like some pitfall. Some sort of test that I have promised myself to pass. Taking his hand, I give him a clipped nod, and while my core may shudder from the inside, I won’t give him a single centimer. My tight smile plastered to my face.

“Dad.” The single word falls heavy off my lips, though Jean-Luc doesn’t seem to notice.

“Hello, son.” He takes his time keeping my hand firmly clasped with his. “I hope that you’ve settled in alright?”

“Sure.” I tighten my lips.

Jean-Luc smiles. “That’s good to hear. And the sleeping arrangements? Did they do a good job renovating the rooms?” His gaze turns to Arthur.

“Yeah, it looks great, Dad,” he answers with his usual husky tone. “Right, Régis?”

My throat clicks when I swallow thickly. This is the moment I’ve been waiting for. This is where I stand up and say I don’t want to share a fucking dorm with these assholes. But now that we’re here, I can’t form any words. Because if I speak up, they will know. Know that these so-called arrangements affect me, know how humiliating it is to have no control over your own life. To stand outside of yourself and watch these untouchable elitist people direct every aspect of your life and there is nothing you can do about it.

“Régis, my love, we’ve been so worried.” The voice of my mother is sharp right before it breaks. “I didn’t even know if I’d see you here today. You haven’t replied to any of my messages or phone calls. I was afraid that you’d just disappeared on us,chéri. You can’t even imagine how relieved I was when Arthur texted me that you got here safe and sound.” She takes a step forward. “I’m so glad to see you again, Régis.” Still carrying that hesitant look on her face, one that surely matches mine, she lifts her hands slowly. It’s enough for my body to go rigid, and I stumble backward, nearly toppling over a chair.

She’s not angry.

“I’m glad that you’re glad,” I mumble meekly.

Are you disappointed?

She’s got to be, I have hardly spent any time with her ever since she locked me in their mansion.

Am I too stubborn?

Mom’s face falls, then she drops her hands.

Is that why you left me?

Dad’s touches have shown nothing but pain. I don’t like pain.

Jean-Luc turns her way and gives her a tender smile. “It’s okay,amour. It will come. We’ll give him time. This place can be overwhelming, am I right, Régis?”

“Yes, Dad,” I mumble, interlacing my clammy fingers. It still feels so double to address him like that.

“But we’re very happy to see you, son. Happy that you’re here, in Saint-Laurent, with your brothers and cousin.” He waits a beat, then, “So the sleeping arrangements are to your satisfaction?” I hesitate, then nod. He sends me another one of those soft smiles, looking a little relieved. “We missed you, Régis, your mother and I. Did you just decide to head out one day? Just like that?” My eyes jump at those words, meeting his, and I nibble on my bottom lip while I wait for something to say. But my mind short circuits, panic rising through the creases of my nerves. Jean-Luc doesn’t appear angry, but I can’t know for sure. “Amadou told me about your trip to Nîmes,” he says through my silence. “Did you find what you were looking for?” I stare down at my sweaty, interlaced fingers with a frown while I contemplate his question. Did I find what I was looking for? I don’t know. I’m not even sure I know what I was looking for in the first place. Good memories? Or was it an ache I searched for? Raw, undigested pain to blame?

I spread my lips, but my stubborn throat convulses. Instead I swallow for good measure, making sure that the words will stay hidden.

“Well, perhaps you’ll share it with us one day.” Jean-Luc gestures to the couch of lush, rich velvet. “Please, sit down. You’re here now, and that’s all that matters.” And then he grabs Arthur by his forearms and tugs him in for a hug and a kiss on each cheek.

“Can’t say that I haven’t seen you for a long time,” he jokes, “But I’m also happy that you’re here, my son.”

I let them have their moment and glance away, taking in the luxurious office. There’s a colossal fireplace with crossed epees.A massive, wooden desk sits by the window. Against the wall, the head of a deer, multiple photos framed in gold. Thick, heavy drawn-up curtains, colorful pillows and elegantly shaped side-lamps that make the room float in gentle light. It looks like Jean-Luc’s office. But why would he have an office in Monterrey Castle?

“Boys, the reason why we came here today, apart from making sure that you all made it safely to Saint-Laurent of course, is to discuss this coming school year.”

Arthur joins me on the couch. The moment his weight dips, my muscles tense and my stomach tightens. He’s close, the heat of his skin slowly crawling inside my core like the thickest of liquids. Shaking my head inwardly, I watch as my legs automatically squeeze together, remembering that veiny hand and those long, slender digits crawling up my groin too well. I’ve wished it back there way too many times.

Pathetic.

“Monterrey Castle. Houses one of the finest boarding colleges in the world. Stands proudly at the top of that list for Europe. Now, I know this change hasn’t been easy for you, Régis,” Jean-Luc drawls, as if tasting each word in his mouth before spilling them into the room. My head jerks up, startled, as if my stepdad has just caught me on my filthy thoughts. His voice turns soft. “You were used to living with your father, and must have felt like your mother had abandoned you.” I grind my teeth hard and my jaw clenches. Because shehad.

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