Page 11 of Otto: The Hawthornes

“I’m sure,” I said, fumbling with the button on his jeans.

Leaning up as far as I could, I wrapped my hand around him, marveling at the way he shuddered and arched toward me. I felt powerful in that moment, a novelty for someone who’d grown up the way I had.

Then he was reaching into his pocket and pulling out a condom and I was blissfully watching him roll it on, fascinated by the way his forearm tightened as he stroked himself. By the time he leaned down over me and wrapped my legs around his back, I was practically shuddering with need.

Reality hit me like a crushing wave as he thrust forward. He wasn’t abrupt by any means, but he didn’t go slowly either and before I could open my mouth to say a word, he’d broken my hymen and was lodged completely inside me.

“You good?” he whispered in my ear. “This okay?”

What was I supposed to say? No? That it hurt? That I was pretty sure he’d broken something? I didn’t want it to be over, even though I knew that for me the magic of the moment had passed. He was still gently running his fingers over my skin and through my hair that had pooled around my head. His body was still vibrating with desperation.

“I’m good,” I whispered back, kissing his jawline.

I wasn’t ready to lose his attention. I wasn’t ready for reality.

I stared at the roof of the car, refusing to let the tears in my eyes fall. He was being so gentle, so sweet, whispering how beautiful I was and how good I felt, and all I could think about was how badly it burned every time he moved.

I tightened my legs around his waist as he shuddered and his thrusts became irregular and awkward, holding him tight as he climaxed with a groan.

He pulled out of me and I stifled a moan of relief, lifting my face so he could kiss me softly, his fingers brushing the hair away from my face.

“You okay?” he asked, searching my face.

“I’m good,” I replied, trying to smile. “Why?”

“You didn’t come.”

I stared at him for a moment and then forced out a laugh. “You didn’t notice?”

“You came?”

“Uh, yeah,” I lied, laying my hand on his cheek. “You must not have been paying attention.”

“Not sure how I didn’t notice,” he said, a small smile playing on his lips. “Considerin’ all I can fuckin’ see is you.”

I smiled, not sure what to say. I wanted him to get off me. The knowledge that we’d been missing for a very long time and at any moment my cousin could find us naked in the front seat of his car made my skin break out in a cold sweat. I shivered.

“You cold?” he asked, kissing me once more before pushing up and away from me.

“Yeah,” I said softly, scooting out of the car. I shoved my skirt down over my hips and reached down for my underwear as something dripped down the inside of my thigh. Mortification made my cheeks burn as I hurriedly pulled the underwear on and shuffled them up under my skirt.

“Here, baby,” Otto murmured, reaching out to snag my bra and shirt off the hood of his car. Oh, god, had he already forgotten my name?

I put them on without a word, my hands flying frantically over the buttons. As soon as I was dressed, I reached up and quickly pulled my hair back into a ponytail. “Do you have my bobby pins?” I asked, glancing back at Otto.

He was leisurely buttoning up the flannel he’d been wearing over his T-shirt. I couldn’t even remember when he’d taken it off.

“Oh, shit.” He grimaced, looking toward the front of the car. “I think I dropped them.”

My stomach clenched with anxiety as I hurried toward where we’d been standing, kneeling down so I could run my fingers over the grass and pine needles. Every fear and anxiety that had disappeared while we were doing… all of the things we’d been doing, were back in full force. My panic was so thick it felt like it was choking me.

He lit the ground with a flashlight and I found two of the bobby pins, stuffing them into my hair. That was how Becka and Matt found us.

“What in the world are you doing?” Becka asked, startling me so badly that I yelped.

“I lost a couple bobby pins,” I replied, deciding to stick as close as I could to the truth without actually telling her the truth.

“Why did you take them out in the first place?” she asked, crouching down next to me.

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