Page 58 of On the Mountain

The look in his eyes changed, softened, yet seemed hungry too, before he gave me a small nod.

Crow gave himself to me, allowed me to dry him. I started at his front, his chest, stomach, then knelt as I dried his thighs and lower legs, one, then the other. “Turn around for me.”

He did as I said, and this time I worked my way up to his muscular thighs and firm, slightly furry ass, then his back and shoulders, and finally his hair.

Leaning in, I pressed my lips to his shoulder, wrapped my arms around his waist. “You say I’m yours, but you’re mine too, Crow. We belong to each other.” With one more gentle kiss to his back, I wiped any remaining water, then dried myself.

He let me take his hand and lead him to the bed. We climbed in, and I lay on top of him. “Is this okay?” I traced circles in the hair on his chest with my finger. Crow nodded. “Do you want to talk about it?”

He turned his head to the side, the pain in his eyes palpable, squeezing and tightening my chest.

“It’s okay.” I went to slide down his body, but Crow stopped me, holding my face in his hands and bringing our mouths together. He pushed his tongue between my lips, taking from me what he needed, giving me what he couldn’t with words.

Our tongues moved together, slow and languid and like we could make this moment last forever, live right here, just feeding from each other’s mouths. The kiss told me I’m sorry even though he didn’t need to say that to me. I want to give you something, which I appreciated even though I didn’t need it either. I knew Crow’s heart, and that was what mattered.

When the kiss ended, I started to work my way down his body, my lips following a trail down his torso. Now that I could do things like this with him, I wanted to do them all the time. Settling between his legs, I took his soft cock into my mouth, suckling it. Even flaccid, Crow was something to marvel at. I loved doing this for him, loved the feel of him against my tongue, being a place for his cock to rest, because every part of Crow deserved to be worshipped. It was a deeper way to connect, a way to both give and take what each of us needed, and luckily for us, the things we craved merged together, met perfectly in the middle.

Crow massaged my scalp while I warmed his cock, until eventually, he fell into much-needed sleep.

*

I woke up before Crow, which rarely happened. I’d fallen asleep with my head on his hip and his fingers in my hair.

Frowning, I sat up, shaking his shoulder gently. “Crow?”

His eyes jerked open, Crow moving so quickly, I wasn’t sure what happened before he’d shot up, flipped me, and lay on top of me, holding me down with wild eyes.

“Baby?” I said, and that seemed to snap him out of whatever trance he was in. His gaze turned horrified, wide-eyed in a different way as he scrambled off me, back pressed against the headboard, as if trying to get as far away from me as possible. “Hey, it’s okay. I just startled you. You weren’t going to hurt me, Crow. I’m not afraid of you.” Still, my heart banged against my chest as if trying to break through.

Crow cocked his head, seeming more like the man I’d met months ago than the one I’d grown to know. He always had those moments of quiet when he pulled away, reminding me that he’d been completely alone for ten years and grew up in a way I would never understand, and that he belonged to this mountain more than anything else. But I hadn’t seen him so…confused? Skittish? Unsure? Not for a while.

“Baby?” Air struggled to pull through my lungs, feeling like someone was stacking weight on them, more and more and more with each second slowly ticking by, until…

“Little lamb…”

“Yes. God yes.” My eyes teared up, wetness pooling in them. I didn’t know what I thought was going to happen. That he’d forgotten me? That he would send me away? The latter was always a fear for me, and that would probably never change. I wasn’t sure my mental illness would allow it to. No matter how much I trusted Crow, that fear of abandonment always sneaked in.

“Don’t cry.” He cupped my cheek, brushed his thumb beneath my eye, swiping at the wetness. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

“It’s not your fault. I’m just emotional.” I snuggled into his hand, savoring Crow’s hot skin against mine. God, I could bask in the warmth of him and never ever tire of it.

He gave me a small, sad smile, like his lips were testing out the movement again and he wasn’t sure he could allow it. When he pulled away, I missed the contact instantly. Crow wobbled when he stood, reaching out to catch his balance.

“Hey, what is it? What’s wrong?” I clambered out of bed and wrapped my arm around him. His skin practically sizzled to the touch. I wasn’t sure how I hadn’t noticed that he wasn’t normal hot. He was blazing. “Jesus. You’re burning up.”

I tugged him down, pressed my lips to his forehead. I had no idea if that really worked or why people chose the lips. I just knew my mom used to do it to me when I was younger.

“You definitely have a fever. Let’s get you back into bed.”

Crow shook his head. I was about to argue when he said, “Piss.”

“Okay, let me help you.”

I was surprised he allowed me to keep my arm around him as we made our way into the bathroom. Crow had always seemed invincible, like there was nothing he couldn’t do and he didn’t need anyone, but both last night and this morning I was seeing a different side of him.

He sat on the toilet rather than standing to pee, hand between his legs and holding his dick to aim. Once he finished, he let me help him back to bed. He immediately pulled the blankets over himself, body trembling, but he didn’t complain. That wasn’t Crow. He would never complain.

“I know you’re cold, but we need to get your fever down. Where’s the thermometer? Oh, and Tylenol or Advil?”

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