Page 50 of On the Mountain

It wasn’t snowing at the moment, but the ground was covered in white as far as the eye could see. I was lucky I didn’t fall and bust my head open when I practically bounded down the porch stairs. After finding a good spot, I dropped onto my back, opening and closing my legs and moving my arms to make a snow angel.

I’d landed in a deep spot, snow just falling on top of me as I wiggled to get out of it, before the rough sound of Crow’s laughter made me stop and look up at him from where I was half-covered in snow. His laughter was one of my favorite sounds. I loved it when I was able to make him let loose that way. Crow kept such a tight rein, struggling to let happiness in, that when it bubbled out of him, it filled me with the sun, made it shine out of me uncontrollably.

“Oh, that’s funny, is it?” I asked, struggling to get up.

“Come on, little lamb.” He walked over, took my hand, and tugged me to my feet.

Crow came out every day to clear a path to the shop and the greenhouse, making sure he could get where he needed to go. He led me to the barn, where he kept his truck during the winter. It also housed the truck he was rebuilding, and the snowplow, but he led me toward the back, and my eyes widened. “A snowmobile! Can we ride it?”

This grunt was different from his no earlier, so I grinned. I was learning to understand Crow even when he didn’t use words.

“You’re going to have to teach me. I wish it sat two people.”

“Older ones do. I’ll ride with you at first. I’ll stand in front, you sit on the seat.”

“Okay.”

Crow pulled it out and started the machine. He put the only helmet on me, and while I wanted to argue, I knew that if I did, we wouldn’t ride. “I’m not going to go too far or too fast. Make sure you hold on.”

I rolled my eyes because no shit. I didn’t plan on letting myself tumble off the back of his snowmobile.

“You’re cute when you’re annoyed.”

My gaze snapped to his. Crow had never said something like that to me before. I hadn’t thought it was something he would ever be able to say. “Pout more often. Got it.”

He shook his head and smirked, in a way he wouldn’t have done a month before, then signaled for me to sit on the machine and climbed in front of me, standing up.

“Ready?”

“Yep.”

Crow pressed a button, then turned the throttle, and we started to move. He wasn’t lying when he said he wouldn’t go fast, but still my heart cranked up a notch. Snow flew out behind us, the cold air whipping around us as Crow drove.

He made a bit of a sharp turn, my body moving with it, and a laugh fell out. He increased the speed, trees and the world flashing by us. I wanted one of these. Badly. Before next winter, I would have to find a way to—no. I nipped that thought in the bud. I couldn’t think that way. Couldn’t let myself believe Crow would keep me.

We rode around for a while, and I could tell Crow liked it, could feel the excitement radiating from him. He wanted more, wanted to go faster, and I couldn’t help wondering if this was what he did to give himself a little adrenaline rush during the winter; if he hadn’t done it at all yet because of me.

Crow knew the mountain like the back of his hand and drove us straight to a slightly open area where the trees were thinner. I tapped his leg and shouted, “I want to see you ride!” Because I knew he wanted to let loose. He stopped the machine, climbed off, and cocked his head at me. I tugged off the helmet. “I said I want to see you ride.” His eyes sparked with enthusiasm. “Clearly, you like that idea.”

I climbed off and handed him the helmet. The second he had it on, Crow was off. He stayed close, only going where I could see him, but flying in a way he hadn’t been when I rode with him. He would kick up snow when he made sharp turns, letting loose in a way he rarely allowed himself. He liked this, felt free out here, I could tell. When he went off a little hill and jumped through the air, I gasped. “Holy fuck,” I said when he skidded to a stop in front of me. “That was hot. Why was that so hot?”

Crow took off the helmet and handed it to me. I thought maybe we were going to go back home, a small stab of disappointment landing in my gut, but he said, “Get on.”

“Really?” I beamed, and Crow just nodded. I did as he said, and he attached a key thing to my jacket. “What’s that?”

“If you fall off, it will kill the engine so it doesn’t drive off.”

“You didn’t do that with yourself.”

“You didn’t notice.”

Oh. Oops.

“Brake on the left. Only push it gently. Accelerator on the right, only pull that gently too. Learning throttle control is important.” I nodded, nerves and excitement wrestling in my gut, and I wondered which would win. “This red button is the electricity. It has to be pressed before it starts, which it is now. And turned off afterward.”

I listened closely as Crow explained everything.

“Stay right in this area.”

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