Page 31 of What Matters Most

“Thank you,” he said simply.

“No,” she replied, and swallowed against the hoarseness building in her throat. “Thank you. I’ll never forget you, Philip, or this week we’ve shared. The reason for the marlin is so you won’t forget me.” She kissed him then, her hands sliding around his middle as her lips met his. It was meant to be a simple act of appreciation, but this kiss soon took on another, more intense significance. This was good-bye.

Philip’s arms locked around her narrow waist, lifting her off her bare feet. Bittersweet memories merged with pure hunger. Mouths hardened against each other in a hungry, grinding demand. Their heads twisted slowly from side to side as the kiss continued and continued until Carla thought her lungs would burst. Incredibly, she couldn’t give enough or take enough to satisfy the overwhelming passion consuming her resolve.

When they broke apart she was weak and panting. Her legs were incapable of holding her as she pressed her cheek to the hard wall of his chest and gloried in the thundering, erratic beat of his heart. Her shaking fingers toyed with the hair that curled along the back of his neck. But the comfort and security of his embrace was shattered when he spoke.

“Carla, I’m only going to ask you once. Can I see you once we’re home?”

“Oh Philip,” she moaned, caught in the trap of indecision. He was forcing her to face the very question she dreaded most. Her lips felt dry, and she moistened them. She couldn’t tell him “yes,” although her heart was screaming for her to do exactly that. And “no” was equally intolerable. Bright tears shimmered in her eyes as she stared up at him, silently pleading with him to understand that she couldn’t say what he wanted to hear.

“Listen to me, Carla,” he urged gently. “What we found in Mazatlán is rare. But two people can’t know if they’re in love after seven short days. We both need time to discover if what we’ve found is real.” His hand smoothed the red curls behind her ear. “What do you say? Spokane isn’t that far from Seattle, and meeting would be a simple matter of a phone call.”

“Oh Philip, I’m such a coward.” Her long nails made deep indentations in her palms, but she hardly noticed the pain.

“Say yes,” he urged, his fingers gripping her shoulders.

Carla felt as if she were standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon, looking down. She knew the pitfalls of loving Philip, and the terror of it gripped her, making speech impossible.

Trapped as she was, she couldn’t agree or disagree. “I wish you wouldn’t,” she murmured finally.

The gray eyes she had come to adore hardened briefly before he dropped his hands to his sides. “When you’re through letting your fears and prejudices rule your life, let me know.” Abruptly he turned, leaving her standing alone in the bright morning sunlight.

“Philip.” Her feet kicked up sand as she raced after him. “We can talk more at the airport.”

“No.” He shook his head. “All along you’ve assumed I was booked on the same return flight as you. I won’t be leaving for another two days.”

“Oh.” She was forced to continue running to keep up with his long strides. “Why didn’t you say something?”

“Why? If you can’t make up your mind now, flying back together shouldn’t make any difference.”

He stopped and caressed the underside of her face. “Good-bye, Carla.” His eyes were infinitely sad, and he looked as if he wanted to say something more but changed his mind. Without another word, he turned and left.

Alone and hurting, she stood on the beach with the wind whipping at her from all directions.

—

“Phone. I think it’s Cliff,” Nancy announced on her way out of the kitchen.

Before Mexico, the news would have been mildly thrilling. But Carla couldn’t look at Cliff Hoffman and not be reminded of Philip. Not that the two men were anything alike. Cliff was the current heartthrob of half the medical staff at Highline Medical Center. Carla had been flattered and excited when he’d started asking her out.

Unhooking her leg from the arm of the overstuffed chair, Carla set her book aside and moved into the kitchen, where the phone was mounted on the wall.

“Hello.”

“Carla, it’s Cliff.”

“Hi.” She hoped the enthusiasm in her voice didn’t sound forced.

“How was Mexico?”

The question caught Carla off guard, and for one terrifying moment she couldn’t breathe. “Fine.”

“You don’t sound enthusiastic. Don’t tell me you got sick?”

“No…no, everything was fine.” What a weak word fine was, Carla decided. It couldn’t come close to describing the most gloriously wonderful, exciting vacation of her life. But she couldn’t tell that to Cliff when she sounded on the verge of tears.

“I expected to hear from you by now. You’ve been back a week.” She could hear an edge of disappointment in his voice but suspected it was as phony as her enthusiasm. From the beginning of their non-relationship, Cliff had let it be known that she had plenty of competition. Philip had once asked her if there was anyone special waiting for her in Seattle. At the time, mentioning Cliff hadn’t even crossed her mind.

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