Page 33 of Our Forever Starts Tonight

Well, no.

I felt worse than I normally would.

In years past I’d been doing relatively okay. Enjoying playing sports, having fun with my friends, getting through classes just fine. In general, I’d liked going to school every day for the past few years, but now showing up meant I was blasted with pain out the gate every single day. It wasn’t just that Aria and I had the same first class, which meant I had to see her first thing every day, but while I was sliding down a slippery slope, she was blossoming.

Aria had always been that way.

She never even gave me so much as a second glance after telling me not to speak to her the Monday after my party, and we hadn’t interacted at all in weeks. She and Arden seemed to be getting closer and closer and were nearly inseparable, which made it even more difficult because Arden and Hannah had history that made Hannah’s views of the entire situation even more sour.

I pretty much kept to myself, only really interacting with Hannah when I needed a friend, but Aria’s circle was growing more and more. Most kids just liked her, not that it was all that shocking, and it seemed she was developing a solid group of friends with her fellow debate club members. Sometimes, I would walk into the lunchroom and see her sitting there with them, laughing and smiling, and would give anything to just go sit next to her and join in.

Hannah kept trying to tell me that this outcome was for the best, but then why did I feel sick to my stomach every day?

But at least Aria was happy. All my ambivalence could have ruined her senior year and I was glad to see that it hadn’t.

“Focus,” Hannah said, pushing me forward towards the lunch line. “You’re gonna trip and hurt yourself.”

“Sorry,” I grumbled.

“And quit staring,” Hannah said. “People are going to talk.”

I wanted to say “So what,” but knew why I couldn’t do that and just grunted out, “Fine.” I dragged my feet all the way through the lunch line and eventually over to my table where Ceradi, Josh, and Milton were already sitting and chatting about a variety of unimportant things.

“Hey,” Ceradi greeted. “I always did love red on you. It looks good.”

I looked down at my t-shirt and furrowed my brow. If someone had given me a pop quiz and asked me what color shirt I had on before that moment, I would have had no idea. I’d been going through the motions so much lately, that I barely even knew what day it was. “Thanks.”

“What’s up with you lately?” Josh asked as I sat down. “I mean, you’ve been a real grump lately. Your stepmom at it again or something?”

“I know what it is,” Ceradi said, and I shot my head in her direction, nervous that she had me figured out. She looked at me, gingerly propping her head up in her hand and smiling at me with a raised eyebrow. “You’re afraid thatwhaleis going to ask you to Sadie Hawkins?”

“Uh. Oh…” The Sadie Hawkins dance was a dance that happened every year the weekend before Thanksgiving break which turned the dumb guys-ask-girls sterotype on its end and instituted an equally dumb girls-ask-guys tradition. Every year, girls clamored for who between myself and the other athletes and popular guys they got to ask, but I typically just ended up going with Hannah as a friend. “Y-yeah. I guess.”

As if Aria would even look in my direction for that dance. If she did, I’d be hard-pressed to say no. If Aria was willing to talk to me at all, I wouldn’t turn her down.

“She’d be dumb to ask by this point,” Milton said. “Shehasto know you’re not interested by now.”

“I don’t know. Fat body, fat skull,” Ceradi said.

There was a part of me that burned to punch Milton in the face and pour Ceradi’s juice down her bright white shirt, but I abstained. Not just because I didn’t want to start trouble, but because when I opened my mouth to respond, Hannah kicked me under the table. I locked eyes with her and she shook her head. Just as much as I didn’t want to start up with Ceradi, I didn’t want to hear more lectures from Hannah.

“Well, I hope not,” I bailed.

Ceradi filed down her nails as she continued. “Are you actually gonna accept someone’s offer this year, or just bail with Hannah?”

I looked over at Hannah. “If she asks me.” It was a joke when I said it, but Hannah was looking back at me with a borderline shy expression.

“Um… I’m actually already planning to ask someone.”

This got the attention of everyone at the table. “What?” I said.

“Who?” Ceradi yelped.

“He goes to a different school,” Hannah said. “Just someone I know.”

I lowered my eyebrows at her. Why was she allowed to invite someone outside our friend group and I wasn’t allowed to go with Aria if she asked? “Pretty cool, this guy?”

“He plays football at his school. He’s popular,” Hannah explained.

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