Page 74 of Our Secret Moments

When I think I’ve settled, his fingers still deep inside me, he manages to pull out another orgasm from me and my reaction is so immediate I don’t even get to think about how loud I’m being. A huge part of me doesn’t care. I just want to feel good, and that’s exactly what Connor is doing.

He pulls his fingers out of me, sucking them into his mouth and my mouth parts, panting as he tastes me again, keeping his eyes locked with mine. I pull his shirt into me, capturing his lips to taste the saltiness of both of us together and he groans into my mouth.

“That’s my girl,” he murmurs against my lips. “Do you like how good you taste?”

“Yes,” I whisper when his tongue slips into my mouth. When I come back down to earth, my heartbeat doesn’t let up and I realise how long has passed. “You need to—“

“Go?”

“Yeah.”

He blinks at me. “I probably should, shouldn’t I?”

“Yeah,” I say again, because apparently I can’t form any more words than that.

“What if I don’t want to?” His voice is so desperate and whiny, my thighs start to clench again. He brushes his nose against my neck. “What if I wanted to stay with my head between your legs forever?”

“Then I’d tell you that you’re obsessed with me and you need to get help,” I say, trying to laugh, but I end up moaning when he nips at the skin on my neck.

“Already tried,” he says, “Want to know what the doctor prescribed?”

“Let me guess,” I muse, “Something to do with how the only cure is to get one last taste?”

“Exactly. Now can you put me out of my misery and let me? Doctors orders.”

“As good as that was, I doubt you could make me come in less than a minute,” I say, leaning down to pull on my panties and my jeans. He watches me carefully, not taking his eyes off me for a second. “Time to go, big guy.”

“Fine.” He rises off his knees, towering over me. He leans down, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “You want me to wait? I’ll wait. But it’s you that’s going to suffer because your fingers will never be as good as mine and you’ll constantly be comparing the two.”

He leaves me stunned as he casually walks out the room, throwing a wink over his shoulder.

Even after Connor’s gone and I’m laying in my bed with Nora watchingNew Girl, I can feel himeverywhere. I even consider coming clean for a second when we have a deep and long winded discussion about the last book we read together. When she looks at me and tells me excited she is for me to spend Thanksgiving with her family, I realise how royally fucked I am.

TWENTY-SEVEN

CONNOR

THE BAILEY LODGE

Thanksgiving weekend at my parents’lodge in Aspen is one of the best times of year. There’s something about the woody cabin vibe of our lodge, the warmth of the fireplace and the golden maple leaves that fall from the trees onto our path.

Every year without fail, we have a huge thanksgiving feast. Usually Cat, Wes, and Elle’s parents and siblings would come over too, but this year only Catherine is staying over. Wes opted out the second that things were getting tense with his parents, which he’s not explaining to me. His parents’ relationship has always been complicated, and I know as much as his parents love him, it’s not always easy to be around them during the holidays. Elle’s moms have both been begging her to go back home to see them so she didn’t come. I don’t mind it just being my parents, Nora, and Cat.

We always spend the day prepping and reorganising the shelf of children books in the large living room before we get settled for dinner. Then we have the best dinner that I have no help in – for everyone’s sake – and we talk about our New Year’s resolutions early instead of saying exactly what it is we’rethankful for and spend the rest of the weekend playing board games and eating leftovers.

The only thing I don't like is the Thanksgiving morning hikes that we always go on. I don’t mind the work for the most part. I love a hike with the guys on the morning of our games, but my mom has been on a health kick recently, which means she’s storming ahead of us, a huge backpack on her back as we walk downhill on a trail we’ve walked a million times, overlooking the frosted hills and mountains in the distance.

“I hate this,” Nora pants, almost tripping over as she latches onto Cat’s arm for stability. “I don’t get why we have to do this every year. I’m not getting anything out of it.”

“What more do you need than the fresh outdoors!” my mom calls, still pushing forward. It amazes me how she has so much energy even though she’s been up from four this morning to do her morning yoga. There’s something magical about this place that brings out the best in us. Or, the worst in us in Nora’s case.

“This feels like a punishment and I’ve not even done anything wrong,” Nora whines, kicking the leaves in front of her. “You guys could have gone without me.”

“Then it wouldn’t be a tradition, you gremlin,” I mutter, pushing her slightly and she stumbles. She turns back to me, glaring.

“Yeah, and we have a guest. It would be unfair to drag Cat along and let you stay at home,” my mom says, walking backwards now, smiling at Cat. She winks at her and Cat laughs nervously, shoving her gloved hands into her jacket pockets. It’s taken all that I am not to clasp my hand around hers, and guide her through the woods.

“That could be easily solved if you let usbothstay at home,” Nora says, tugging on Cat’s arm and they both laugh.

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