Page 109 of Our Secret Moments

CAT

The best partabout the football season being over is that I get to see Connor a lot more than before. It feels like he’s been tethered to me since the final and now, weeks later, I still can’t get enough of him.

The only small tiny problem? We still haven’t told Nora yet and she’sthisclose to figuring it out. I’ve had to hide him behind my door more than once and I’m sure she must be able to hear us some nights because we’re not always quiet.

I’ve been preparing myself to tell her next week after her boyfriend’s birthday party. She’s planned this whole surprise party for him at his house and she’s invited our friend group to come along. I swear I’ll tell her then.

First, I’ve got to sit through the process of letting my professor read my official finished report for the Drayton Titans. I’ve put my blood, sweat and tears into organising this magazine and I hope it paid off. I’d be lying if I didn’t say I’ve had the most fun of my life writing it. It’s brought me closer to people I never thought I would even be friends with. And it’s given me Connor.

I’ve spent nearly every waking moment when I’m not in class in front of a computer, trying out new fonts and new designs all by myself. I tried to get in contact with one of the design students, but they’re always too busy. If the paper wasn’t taken up for the last five years, I would have to be stupid to think they’d spare some time to help me out.

Although it’s taken most of the school year to get it going, once this has been finalised, I’ll be able to start doing monthly instalments every semester after this and hopefully recruit a little team when they see how much fun it is.

I didn’t mind it, though. I’ve never been able to be creative in that way before and having free range has been amazing. I just hope I’ve managed to pull it off. The writing and the different sections I’ve added in, I’m not so worried about. But sitting in front of professor Rotford always brings me an annoying amount of discomfort.

She’s read and skim read the paper three times and she hasn’t said a word. Her office isn’t much to look at either, so there’s not even that I can focus on. She lets out a soft hum. I can’t tell if that was ahm this is extraordinaryorhm who let this girl ever pick up a pen as a kid.Either way, the anticipation is eating away at me.

I told Connor I’d meet him at his dorm since his roommates are out and I don’t want to go there in tears. I want to be able to go and show him what I’ve managed to make out of the newspaper. George has tried to reassure me more than once, but he’s too kind for his own good, so I don’t know if his comments are completely legitimate.

“What do you think? I’m still playing with the headers, but I think it’s okay,” I mutter, nervously fidgeting with the loose material of my skirt.

She looks up at me and… Oh. My. God.

She’s smiling.

At me.

I’ve always craved academic validation, but getting a smile from a teacher who I could have sworn has never smiled a day in her life is fucking incredible. I resist the urge to smile back and wait for her to say something instead. This could be a pity smile for all I know.

“Catherine, I’ll be completely honest,” she hedges, pushing up her glasses onto her forehead as she leans on to the table. “I wasn’t sure how well you would manage to pull through with this. I know I dropped this on you, but I wanted to test you. To push you. And… Well, this is one of the greatest things I’ve read in a long time.”

My chest expands with utter pride at her words. “Really?”

She nods, flicking through it again. “I mean, it has everything an article needs. It tackles the subject of football in an enjoyable and accessible way. It’s serious in some parts, talking about the injuries and the anxieties on the team. It’s funny… I mean, it has everything you’d need. You’ve done a really good job with this, Catherine.”

“Thank you so much,” I breathe out as if I just received the world's greatest compliment. Well, I kind of just did. For me anyway.

“Seriously,” she says, shaking her head with disbelief. “I am really impressed. I feel extremely proud to be your teacher. If a company gets a whiff of this, you could be working for the New York Times. I’m really proud of you.”

Oh shit. Here comes the waterworks. My eyes start to water immediately at her words and my throat pinches. I can’t help the tears of joy that stream down my face.

“Oh, God,” she mutters, fiddling for a tissue on her desk and hands it to me. “Please don’t cry.Again.”

“I’m not crying,” I sob, clearly crying harder now. She just shakes her head at me as I stand from my seat, my legs shaking.Pull yourself together, woman. It’s not a big deal.

When I manage to get out of the room, I twist my mom’s necklace around my neck and I know she’s with me, guiding me, knowing that she lives on in me. Her love for books and literature will always be in me and this article is living proof of that.

CONNOR

I don’t think she’s stopped moving since she got here.

This is by far the happiest I’ve ever seen her, and without the pressures of football on my back, I can completely bathe in this moment with her. I’m so fucking proud of her I feel like I might explode. Well, if I don’t pass out with dizziness first.

She’s been pacing the living room for the last half an hour rambling about the project. I’ve been waiting all day to hear back from her and now I can hardly get a word in. Her gorgeous black hair is flowing down her back, the white summer dress she’s wearing distracting me as she walks back and forth, talking with her hands.

She’s fucking adorable.

“She said I could work for NYT! Do you understand how big of a deal that is?” she asks, her voice an octave higher than usual. “I mean, I don’t think it could actually happen. It’s just a school paper, but you never know. Itcouldhappen. Imagine if it did. How crazy would that be? I need to update my CV. Oh my God! Do you get how crazy that would be?”

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