Page 107 of Our Secret Moments

So if I need to wait, I’ll wait.

CAT

By the time I get back to my dorm, it’s early hours in the morning.

I’ve spent the last five hours hanging out with JoJo and finally having a grown up conversation with my dad. I had no distractions. No phone to pull out to use as an excuse. I didn’t try to pull out my journal and back out of the inevitable conversation. Instead, I sat through it and I bade it welcome home.

I didn’t realise how much we needed to have that conversation until tonight. Like JoJo said, it shouldn’t take her almost dying in front of us to realise we had to fix up our act. We’ve been misunderstanding each other for years and pushing each other away instead of being there for each other in our moments of need. She was right. We were both too stubborn to admit how much we needed each other.

Of course she is.

When I finally push open my bedroom door, the first thing I do is plug my phone onto charge and fall face first on my bed.

Just having regular emotions is exhausting enough. My brain is still struggling to keep up with the events of the day, but the second my phone restarts and my messages and miscalls start to pop up, I’m thinking of one person and one person only.

Connor.

I sit up in the bed, pulling the covers right to my chin as I lean over, picking up my phone still connected to the wire. All my messages and miscalls are from him.

CONNIE

Baby, where did you go?

Is everything okay?

Are you okay?

Call me when you can.

Please let me know that you’re okay.

Are you mad at me?

I don’t care if you were screaming in my face and telling me to leave, I still need to know you’re okay.

I’ll stay up until I know you’re okay. Just text.

My hands shake as I press the call button, trying to see if his last message is actually true. Part of me doesn’t want him to answer. I don’t want him to have missed out on sleep because of me. If I was smart enough to buy a charger whilst I was out or brought my own, I wouldn’t have to be calling him at two in the morning.

He answers on the second ring.

“Catherine? Are you okay? Please tell me you’re at home,” he says, breathing heavily.

“I’m in my dorm,” I whisper, turning on my side. The weight of the day crashes onto my chest and I don’t have the energy to explain what happened today. “Something happened with my dad and JoJo today, but I don’t want to talk about it. Is that…. Is that okay?”

“Of course it is, sweetheart.” His voice is so soft and gentle I just want it to put me right to sleep. Well, there’s an idea.

“Do you think you could stay with me on the phone until I go to sleep?” I ask, twisting one of my hands in the comforting fabric of my bedsheets.

“Of course,” he replies instantly.

Comfortable silence washes over us for a few beats. “I’m sorry for missing the game. I know how important it was for you, but I know the first half was amazing.Youwere amazing.”

He sighs. “You don’t have to apologise.”

“But, I do. I hate that I left you. You know how important it is to me for people to show up and I didn’t show up for you, and I’m sorry. I really am,” I whisper.

“I was annoyed, but you mean so much more to me than any game could, whether you’re in the stands or not. Your family needed you. As long as you’re safe, that’s all that matters to me.”

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