Page 90 of Our Secret Moments

“You’re my home too. You always have been and you always will be,” he replies, his words soothing me, running right through me like water. “When you want to make a real home, a small house or a big one, make one with me. Please.”

“I’ll hold you to that, Connie,” I whisper, knowing that I can trust him, knowing that he’ll help me make my dreams come true. “Have a good Christmas. I lo–” My heart almost crashes straight through my ribs. Was I just about to say that I loved him for the first time over the phone? That’s crazy. There’s no way I’ve already fallen that hard for him.

“Cat?” he asks, his voice low as I try to collect myself.

“I love the weather,” I blurt out. “You know the crunchy leaves, the dark sky, the way I can see my breath in the air, I love it all. So much.”

He laughs a little, and I can imagine him throwing his head back. “I love the weather too, Cat. So much you don’t evenknow.” We both know what he’s talking about, but he just adds, “Bye, sweetheart,” and he ends the call.

Even when the cold nips at me, I know I’m going back to a quiet dorm and in a couple days, both the girls will be back and I’ll truly be home again.

THIRTY-THREE

CAT

JEALOUSY, JEALOUSY

You can argue allyou want about what the best day of the year is, but we all know there is something extremely magical about New Year’s Eve. I’ll have a load of anxiety throughout the day until the next morning, but that doesn’t make it any less magical.

There’s something so comforting about being surrounded by my friends in a random house as we sing and dance along to Christmas songs and old 2000’s hits waiting for the ball to drop on the flatscreen in the living room. And this year, that feeling has grown tenfold because it’s Connor’s hand I have on my back as we move through the crowds.

I honestly didn’t think I would have ended up back at Jason Bassey’s party after the way the last one ended, but it’s given me a boyfriend, so I shouldn't really complain. Not only that, but it’s given me the chance to hope again, to dream, towant.

We tried to time our arrivals so we would be the first two here out of everyone in our friendship group. Connor picked me up with Wes and apparently Archer has been on duty to pick up Elle and Nora twenty minutes from now. We got here over half-an-hour ago, so we’ll have almost an hour to ourselves until they turn up.

Which is why I can’t help myself and when we’re deep into the crowded room, I lean up and kiss him deeply on his full lips. He stumbles slightly in surprise, but I tug on his shirt, keeping him close to me and he smiles against my mouth.

“What was that for?” he mumbles, pulling back from me, grinning. I absentmindedly run my hand through his thick hair, resting my hand on his neck.

“Just because,” I shrug, giving him another kiss before starting to walk beside him.

It’s notjust because.Well, mostly it is, but it’s also the fact that the music is just right and I want him. There’s always that fear of someone catching us and I want to be a little reckless. Plus, he looks so fucking hot today. He always does, but today especially.

His hair is messy because the second he got to my door and I answered it, he pushed me against the closed door and kissed me like his life depended on it. He’s wearing dark pants and a white button down with his sleeves rolled up, showing off his huge tanned arms.

He’s got this new sense of confidence around him. Maybe it’s because I’ve stopped my weekly interrogations and the play-offs have been going incredibly well for the Titans. Either way, he looks happy and comfortable and I love that for him.

He slings his arm around my shoulder, tugging me into his side as we walk around. I’m surprised no one has said anything to us yet. Part of me has been waiting until we get caught and another part of me is too afraid to straight-out tell Nora what’s going on between us. Besides, Connor is one of the most popular guys on campus so I’m surprised people aren’t drooling at his feet right now.

It feels good having these secret moments between us and I’ve been resisting the urge to soft launch our relationship on Instagram. I know we have to wait a little longer until I’m fully comfortable with the idea of telling Nora.

“What would you do if I just blabbed and told every living soul that we’re together?” I ask when we get to a quieter corner of the house. We’re both leaning against the windowsill, using the warmth from the radiator beneath us. “Like, would you completely freak out, or what?”

He looks down at me, a lazy grin hanging off his lips. “If I could scream at the top of my lungs that you’re my girlfriend, I would do it in a heartbeat, you know that.”

“Do I?” I tease, unable to stop myself from curling my hands into the bottom of his shirt.

“Do you want me to prove it?” he argues, squinting his eyes at me. My heartbeat increases at the challenge in his voice and I nod, running my hand over his stomach, feeling him tense beneath me.

He steps away from me and I’m ready for him to do whatever he’s suggesting to prove it to me, but a brunette I have only spoken to in passing steps in beside us.

Hailey Dermont is known across campus as a playgirl. I never talk down on women, but this one makes me see red. If she was all up over someone else’s man I would have questioned her from afar, but having herthisclose to Connor makes my blood boil when there’s nothing I can do.

Hailey is a gossip, and if I tried to tell her to stay away from him, she would blab to every single sophomore at Drayton and that is not the kind of attention I need right now. I’ve had a public relationship before, and I know how easily they can blow up in your face. The last thing I want is to put us in the spotlight.

Just as I expected, she completely ignores my existence as she steps closer to Connor with her back to me, but I can stillhear her whispering. “So, Con, it’s been a long time.” Just the sound of her voice makes acid pool in my stomach.

“Not really,” he replies, his tone clearly bored. “I saw you at the game. You know, when you had Oli’s number on your cheek.”

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