Page 56 of Our Secret Moments

“You’re right. EvenIthought that was too far,” he admits before he takes a long sigh. “Anyway, be bold, Connor.”

“I will. Thanks, dad,” I say into the phone.

“Anytime, son,” he replies before ending the call.

I stare up at my ceiling, spinning around in my chair.

Be bold.

How the fuck do I do that? What am I supposed to do now? Just throw myself at her whenever she’s around? Am I supposed to leave letters in her locker or something? Do we even have lockers at Drayton? Fuck my life.

This shouldn’t be so hard. I made out with her a few days ago and I was so close to blowing my load right there. I don’t want her to think this is just a casual thing. I might not have much, or any experience with relationships, but I know enough to wanther more than just fooling around for the fun of it. I want her all the time.

I pull out my phone, considering texting her first.

Be bold.

Girls are supposed to dig this shit according to Wes. Making the first move is supposed to be the easy part. Then why does it feel so difficult? I stare at her contact for at least ten minutes, no clue what to say. I even search up different conversation starters onto Google like the lovesick fool I am. All the responses are either too bold or too cringe. I want to make her swoon, not run away.

By the time I’ve eaten, showered, and slipped back into bed in my boxers, I still haven’t texted her. I’ll wait until tomorrow. Maybe all that talking in the interview today has worn my brain out. I need a good night's sleep. That’s it.

I’m finally about to close my eyes when my phone lights up with a text. I’m planning to ignore it, but there’s no way I was going to get to sleep anyway. I lean over to my bedside table, taking my phone off my charger.

Kit-Cat

U up?

I drop my phone as if it’s burned straight through my skin. Fuck. Oh, fuckity fuck fuck.

What in the hell do I say to that? Au uptext is fucking dangerous. It sends my thoughts completely filthy, imagining that she’s thinking about me whilst she’s in bed, hopefully wearing little clothing just like I am.

I pick up my phone with shaking hands, staring at our empty chat. She knows I’ve seen the message now and I can’t hide from it. It’s not like I want to. I just don’t know what to say. The words blink back at me, begging me to say something.

I am now.

She replies instantly, like she was waiting for me.

Kit-Cat

Good.

Why’s that good?

Kit-Cat

Idk. I’m just thinking abt u and I like knowing ur awake too.

What are you thinking about, sweetheart?

I think for a second that I’ve scared her off as the blue bubbles appear and then disappear again. Did I say something wrong? How can I be messing this up before anything has even happened? My fears are quashed when I finally see her respond.

Kit-Cat

I’m thinking about the way u kissed me. The way u touched me in the hot tub.

What else?

Kit-Cat

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