Page 10 of Our Secret Moments

She grabs her bag from the table, her brown hair bobbing on her shoulders, as she pushes her eager boyfriend to the side. “What the hell are you doing?” she asks, smoothing out her skirt as she walks towards me. She looks down at Wes who is still on the floor. “Wesley.”

“Nora,” he says, grinning.

She steps over him, shaking her head. “I told you to meet me an hour ago. We’re going to be late.”

When Nora and I moved out for college, we made an agreement with our parents that we’d come home at least once every two weeks to visit them. We’ve always had a strong relationship seeing as we’re the only children and we don’t have much extended family.

They were only eighteen when they had Nora and I and it always felt like they’re the ‘cool’ aunt and uncle all my friends talk about having. It's always been us in this small little bubble in a huge house in Fort Collins.

High school me would definitely deny it, but I’m one hundred percent sure that I’m a mama's boy. I’ve gotten used to it now, knowing that I’m always going to need my mom in my corner, but as a kid I would do anything to deny it.

I’ve always loved my dad and I always will. He’s the one I have to thank for getting me into football, but there is nothing that will compare to the kind of bond my mom and I have.

My mom was the one who dropped me off at my first day of middle school and the same person who picked me up earlier after I freaked out during the icebreakers.

My mom was the one who took me out for ice cream after winning my first football game even when my dad tried to keep me on a diet.

My mom was the one who let me and Nora into her bed after she miscarried and made my dad sleep on the floor of the bedroom. Even though we fully didn’t understand the significance of what happened, she let us be there for her and joked around with my dad when he made breakfast for us the morning after.

Our family has never been perfect and it never will be. But that’s what I like about coming home. I like coming home to the faint smell of pumpkin and spices no matter what time of year it is. I like coming home to the maroon comforter that lays on the back of the couch that never seems to move. I like coming home into my parents arms as they run down the driveway as Nora and I jump out of my truck.

My dad gets to Nora first, trapping her in a hug as if they haven’t seen each other for years. It’s been two weeks, but still. My mom almost trips over the overgrown grass as she runs towards me, her white summer dress and red apron flowing in the wind as she reaches me.

I used to think mom was a princess because of the movies we used to watch. “I’m not a princess, sweetie. I’m just your mom,” she told me once after I went through a phase of calling her Princess Emma for a week straight. “You’re the best mom-princess ever,” I told her.

“Oh, honey,” she says, pulling out of the hug she immediately trapped me in. I smile up at her, her bright green eyes squinting at me in the sun. I reach into the car quickly, returning with the cookies I made. “And a Connor Bailey special? How did I get so lucky?”

“You’ll be lucky if you don’t die,” Nora shouts back, walking up the path back into the house, chasing after my dad and probably pestering him with questions about New York. Dad goes there a lot for business and it’s her dream to go one day. My dad has been planning a big trip for her twenty-first birthday, but she doesn’t know it yet. I donotwant to be in the same room as her when she finds out.

My mom wraps her arm around my shoulder, her blonde hair tickling me. “How are you, my sunshine?”

“I’m good. Just a little tired,” I say, swaying with her as we walk into the house. When she shuts the door, she studies me curiously, her arms now pinned across her chest. “What?”

“You went out last night, didn’t you?”

“Yes…?”

“But you didn’t drink?” she asks, continuing her walk into the kitchen. I follow behind her, not sure what she’s getting at exactly. I don’t say anything and she takes my silence for an answer. “Connor.”

“Mom, you know I don’t drink during the season,” I say with a sigh, taking a seat at the island.

“I know, I know. I just feel like you need to loosen up a little, you know?”

“I can have fun without drinking.”

She sighs wistfully, looking out the window into the bright backyard and then back to me. “I just don’t want you to miss out on things, that’s all. You know I just want you to have fun. And part of that is because your dad and I had to grow up pretty quickly. I just don’t want you to feel like you need to be one-hundred percent responsibleallthe time, Connie.”

I’m not an uptight person. It’s never really been my style. Or, well, I thought it wasn’t. That was until I started college, realised parties and fraternities weren’t just for movies and they were actually very real.

Moving out and into a space where everybody wants to be out all the time and drinking was the main priority, was daunting. So I stayed away from it. I know people on my team can manage football and a social life easily, but for me, eliminating the social aspect that leads to drama and things that I can’t risk being apart of, has improved my performance immensely. I want it to stay that way.

“I’m fine, mom. You don’t have to worry about me. Trust me, I’m getting the full college experience,” I say as convincinglyas I can. She nibbles on her bottom lip before her shoulders sag, signifying defeat. She presses a kiss to my forehead before walking past me and out of the kitchen.

I don’t get another second to breathe before Nora walks in, her hair somehow a mess from the car to the house as she inspects the box of cookies on the counter. Mom took a bite of one already and seemed to enjoy them. Well, she didn’t spit them out, but she also didn’t compliment them either.

“What are these supposed to be?” Nora asks, shaking the box of steel cookies.

“Cookies, obviously. Do you want one?”

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