Page 134 of Don't Look Down

This is a surprising turn of events…

“But you love skydiving.”

His lips mash together. “Loved. That’s an important distinction.”

“Okay, you loved skydiving, but maybe Cayden is right, and you should give yourself some time to think it over. You might change your mind,” I gently encourage him, trying not to press too hard.

“I refuse to live frivolously. I’ve always said fuck fear, because what the fuck is that, but I can’t live like that anymore. I can’t keep throwing caution out the window and blissfully risking my life. Look at Cayden. He’s alone now. I know they jumped together sometimes, but I can’t willingly risk my life when I have so much to live for.Te amo. Eres mi vida entera.It would kill me if I hurt you.”

Fuck. My throat closes up. This guy wrecks me so easily. “I love you, Sky, and that’s why I’m going to ask you to just think about it. If you don’t go, that’s fine. But don’t count it out just yet. Marinate with it for a while and then revisit.”

He bobs his head a few times, before saying simply, “I can do that.”

52

Landon

Leigh and I are spotting each other in the Frenzy gym. We have a game at the RCA tomorrow and a practice skate in the morning. Sky’s at the hospital working another double.

He’s still pushing through his grief. Some days are harder than others, but he’s never far. And he hasn’t tried to push me away again since our breakthrough.

“That dopey, lovesick smile on your face makes me want to barf, Spence. Get it together, man. You’re so dick-whipped. it’s hilarious.”

I laugh and flip him off, per usual. “Shut the fuck up, Leigh. Don’t be jealous. Just know if you had dick this good, you’d be smiling too.”

He purses his lips and blows a raspberry. “You know I’m straight, I just give good dick.” He thrusts his hips like a teenage boy to emphasize his point like it wasn’t already blatantly obvious. “I’ll leave the dick-taking to you and your man… Andthe lovely ladies who warm my bed.” We burst out laughing. I can’t help it. We’re ridiculous.

“You know you don’t have to actually take a dick to make friends with your prostate. We had this talk with Sky a long time ago. You don’t know what you’re missing, man. Life. Changing.” I shiver dramatically for effect as he watches me, but I’m definitely not exaggerating. Prostates are the best.

Leigh laughs, but I can swear curiosity lights in his eyes for a split second, and then disappears. “I’ll leave that to you and your boo thang. Also, the shiver was a bit much. The sound of you moaning replayed in my head.” He fake gags, making my shoulders shake with humor.

“You’re an idiot. And never say boo thang again in your life, mkay? Thanks.”

Our laughter subsides gradually, and we move onto another machine.

“Speaking of Sky… How’s he doing? Does he need anything? Cayden? I’m here for all of you guys.”

Leigh’s expression is something I’ve never seen before. I can’t really get a read on him, but something’s off.

“He’s struggling. Sky is struggling. Sky is finally starting to come to terms with the fact nothing that happened that day was his fault. He’d been blaming himself, but Cayden finally got through to him. He knows it fucking sucks that Andrew is dead, but we have to keep living. Wedeserveto keep living.”

“Damn, Spence, that’s heavy. But, for sure, you all deserve happiness. You’re like the brother I never had, and Sky is one of the best dudes I know. I’m always here if you need me. Anytime, I got your back. Sky’s too. If you’re my bro, he’s practically my brother-in-law, since you’re all domestic and shit.”

My chest swells and warmth spreads. “Thanks, brother, I appreciate you.”

After that, the conversation turns to more mundane topics, and I participate, but my mind wanders back to Sky. Like usual. Hopelessly stuck on him.

It’s been a few days since Sky told me about Cayden’s invitation. Sky and I had managed to get back into our usual routine. We didn’t discuss it any further, although it’s the elephant in the room. I just can’t shake the feeling that I need to do something to help him. On the surface, he’s coping, but deep down, he’s still struggling.

He refused to skydive ever again. He’s suffocating his own spirit and holding himself back. And he can’t even see it. I don’t like it. I refuse to let my man dim his shine for anyone. Even himself. And right now, he’s his own worst enemy.

A crazy idea has been spinning in my head. I’m just not sure what I’ll do if he turns me down. I need him to get through it as much as he’ll need me. That seems to be our running theme. At the root of everything, we’re together. We need each other in equal measures. Two halves of a whole.

Interrupting Leigh mid-sentence, I fill him in on Cayden’s invitation and Sky’s response. His eyebrows raise higher with every word.

“Leigh, talk me off the ledge. Tell me I’m crazy and this shit is a bad idea.” I’m practically begging.

His smirk speaks volumes before he shakes his head at me. “Never that. You know I’m a ledge-walker. Whatcha thinking?”

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