Page 123 of Don't Look Down

Maybe Andrew would still be here, planning his future with Cayden, if I had paid more attention. But now Cayden is left suffering the loss of his partner. His fiancé. His love.

They’d been engaged for ages, never rushing their wedding plans. They both took things at a leisurely pace like they had all the time in the world for their happily ever after to begin. Now that happily ever after is just gone. Out the door. Crushed into dust.

In a matter of seconds, their lives were irrevocably changed. Nothing will ever be the same.

Andrew’s dead and no matter how hard I wish and pray this wasn’t happening…

This is reality, and goddamnit, I know there’s no coming back from this.

He’s gone. Dead. End scene. No more pages or chapters will ever be added to the book of his life. The end…

Deep inside, reg flags are waving at me, telling me to pump my brakes. I know I’m spiraling into a dark place. These thoughts are toxic, but my grief and guilt are blinding. Suffocating in their intensity. As a healthcare professional, Iknowsometimes terrible things happen and there’s no way back from it. It justis.

My breaths are panting in and out, rapid rises and falls of my chest. My hands and feet tingle. I’m well on my way to panic attack territory. I am fucking drowning in this feeling. Drowning in waves I can’t see through.

My throat is clogged with a tight knot of sobs I try like hell to hold in.

Do I even deserve to cry when this is my fault?

Tears pour down my face. I bury my face in my hands and sink to my knees in Landon’s hallway as I finally lose the fight and let the sobs go.

46

Landon

As soon as we land, I know something is wrong. For once, I’d had my phone in airplane mode since Coach Boucher decided the flight was a great time to review game film.

There are way too many notifications from Addy.

Nothing from Sky. His last message was hours ago when he’d arrived at DZPB.

Giant red flag. Texts, calls, voicemails. All from Addy.

Something is seriously wrong. We only text sometimes, but I can’t recall a single time that she’d had to call me when I wasn’t with Sky.

My forehead scrunches with the worry shooting ice through my veins. A cold sweat sheets my skin.

I don’t bother reading the texts or listening to the messages. I click on a missed call notification and call her back.

“Landon.” Addy’s voice breaks on my name. Sniffles greet me, and I try to patiently wait for her to continue, but I can’t wait for her to shatter my world. I need details. Now.

“What’s wrong? What happened? Is Sky hurt? Is he okay?”

The panic in my voice is evident as I fling questions at her. The weight of Leigh’s concern draws my gaze to his as he watches me.

“Not Sky. Andrew.” Relief fills me. She exhales shakily. “Andrew was in an accident. He didn’t make it. I’m still at the hospital with Cayden and Andrew’s parents. I can’t get in touch with Sky. I know he made it home safely, because he texted me, but that’s it. He’s not answering my calls.”

“Fuck!” My hand threads through my hair and I’m pacing. My exclamation has drawn more attention. Turning away, I ask, “Was Sky there when it happened, Addy?”

“Yes.”

Oh God.My stomach roils with nausea. What the fuck happened? And what did Sky see? Fuck.

I need to get home.

My breath whooshes out of me like I’ve been slammed into the boards. I cover my face with one hand and raise my face to the heavens. Goddammit. I hadn’t known Andrew long, and quite frankly, I didn’t like the guy, but I feel his loss. I know Sky is hurting. My heart hurts for him and Addy. And for Cayden. “Fuck!” I shout again. Blood pounds in my ears. My eyes fill with tears.

Guilt fills me. I feel like shit. My first thought after Addy told me was to thank God it wasn’t Sky. Sky’s okay.

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