Page 132 of Don't Look Down

Then I’ll be all up in his space again.

I just pray he reaches for me before I have to push him. We don’t even need to speak. I can just hold him, we can watch TV or movies, catching up on our interrupted Devon Sawa marathon, listen to music, stare aimlessly at the ceiling… Anything. I just want to be with him in his sorrow. Help him and carry himthrough. My hands are reaching for him, but he has to reach back and take hold. Take hold ofme.

My heart skips a beat, and then pounds in my chest when I see the text notification from him.

Please reach for me, Sky.

Sky’s The Limit: Hey, you.

That’s it. Really? I don't know what to make of it. Text bubbles pop up and disappear as I watch. I wait... Then when nothing else comes through, I type out a reply. I overthink using an endearment, but in the end, I send it. It’s a little scary, putting myself further out there when he basically tried to blow me off, but he’s worth the risk.

Me: Hey, baby.

Sky’s The Limit: Cayden came by today.

Me: I want to ask how he’s doing, but that’s a stupid question. Did you have a good visit?

I settle deeper into the corner of Leigh’s couch, my phone held close. If he wants to talk, I’m here. My heart beats a little faster, hope taking flight. Could this be him tentatively reaching for me? I’m ready to grab his hand.

Sky’s The Limit: I don’t think he’s getting much sleep, but he seems to be coping. We had a long talk and an overdue cry.

Me: I wish I could take this pain away from both of you, but I know it’s not possible.

Me: I’m glad you guys were able to be there for each other.

Sky’s The Limit: Yeah…

Me: I’m here for you. Always.

Sky’s The Limit: I know, babe, and I love you for it. More than you know.

Did he really just profess his love over text? I smile. It’s oddly fitting, since we met over a video game. Technology and all.

Me: I love you too.

Sky’s The Limit: I’m just trying to wrap my head around everything he said. I’m processing.

Me: Anything you want to talk about?

A few minutes pass with no response, then the text bubbles pop up.

Sky’s The Limit: Can you come home?

Joy rushes through me and my heart feels so full it could burst. I reach out and take his hand.

Me: omw

I’m out of there so fast I don’t think the guys know what hit them.

I find him bundled up in bed, arms curled around my favorite pillow. A hank of wavy dark hair partially obscures his face. His gorgeous brown eyes are swimming with tears, but he manages to give me a weak, watery smile.

“Hi,” he says.

“Hi, baby.” I sit next to him, my thumb caressing his face, and tucking back the lock of hair.

“So Cayden said it’s official. A ruptured cerebral aneurysm killed him before he hit the ground.” The words are a bit shaky, but he says them calmly. “He also called me on my bullshit for being a shitty friend.”

I shake my head. “There’s no way he said that.”

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