Page 434 of S is for SEX

KELLI. There are things a man can say that make you think he cares for you. There are things he can do that make you pretty certain. There’s absolutely nothing about a man defending your honor - being willing to stand up and actually risk his life in a fight – that does anything but confirm what he feels inside.

Erik. Made. Me. Melt.

“You sure you’re okay?” I raised my eyebrows as I turned the bolt on the door.

“I’m fine, I didn’t hit him that hard,” he responded as he inspected his elbows and hands.

“Do you need anything for your hands?” I asked as I walked toward him.

“No, they’re not cut, just sore,” he assured me.

“I want you to understand something, Kelli. I’m not a violent person. Understand that. I don’t get into bar fights, or any fights for that matter because I like it. But there’s one thing I will never stand for – and that’s someone being disrespectful toward you. Do you understand, baby girl?” he said as he reached out and placed his forearms over my shoulders.

“Yes, I understand,” I relaxed as he placed his arms around me.

The thought of him fighting for me, mentioning defending me in the future, and finishing his sentence with baby girl made me tingle all over. I slid my arms around him and gave him a hug. My face buried in his chest, I drew in a slow breath through my nose. His distinct smell made me sigh in comfort.

I want you.

No matter how much time we spent together, I always feared doing something that would be the wrong thing. Erik never gave me a reason to think I had done anything that would make him angry, but I always feared doing something he didn’t want me to do. Right now, more than anything, I wanted him to fuck me. I wanted him to toss me on the floor and just take me.

He had told me at the airport right after we had met, that I had only seen a facet of what he prepared to do to me - a facet. I was ready for the entire diamond. Most of what he had done was focused on mind-fucking me. He had crawled inside of my head for sure, but I wanted him somewhere else.

I wanted him inside of me.

“Did you wash the clothes I left over here the other day?” he asked as he slowly pushed me away from his chest.

“Yes. They’re in the laundry room, washed and folded,” I answered, wishing he hadn’t pushed me away.

“I’m going to take a quick shower. I’ve been on the bike all day, had that damned meeting, and then to the bar. I feel filthy.”

“Ok, I’ll grab them for you.” I said as I turned toward the laundry room.

When I returned from the laundry room, he was already in the bathroom. I speculated what he may be thinking, what kind of mood he might be in. I always wondered what he was thinking. I wanted more than anything for this relationship to work, and sometimes it was difficult to convince myself it would.

Communication is key, Erik had told me. He had told me that many times. He was not always willing to volunteer his feelings or thoughts to me, and left me to guess what he was thinking or feeling. I haven’t much experience with figuring out men, and sometimes I just wish he’d tell me what he wanted me to do. If he did, we’d both be much happier.

I placed the clothes on the arm of the couch and sat down. The sound of the shower starting and him moving the shower curtain back and forth assured me he had started his shower. Maybe the shower would make him feel better and a little more lively. I’m sure the fight in the bar probably has him exhausted.

Life is about opportunities and options. I’m going to give you both. An option to apologize and an opportunity to walk away. I started to get wet thinking about it. There was something both sickening and sexy about watching men fight. Watching Erik do what he did was sexy. No one had ever stood up for me before. Maybe that was it. Maybe it was because I watched it happen. Maybe it was because…

“Kelli. Come in here!” Erik screamed from the bathroom.

Shit. What did I do? I forgot to give him his clothes. Is there shampoo in there? He needs a razor. I didn’t buy him razors. Shit.

I opened the bathroom door and stepped inside. “Yes?” I asked.

“Get in here,” he responded from inside the shower.

“You want me to…”

“It’s pretty fucking simple, Kelli. Take off your clothes and get in the shower,” he laughed from behind the shower curtain.

I quickly undid my pants and pushed them down to my feet and kicked them aside. I unbuttoned the first two buttons on my shirt, pulled it over my head, and dropped it on the floor beside my pants. I tossed my bra onto the pile and pulled off my socks.

“I thought maybe you were mad at me,” I said as I pulled the shower curtain open.

“Baby girl, if I’m mad at you, I’ll let you know,” he said as he stepped toward the rear of the shower.

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