Page 401 of S is for SEX

“Ok, I will decide,” he said, as he turned and scanned the horizon of buildings.

“Il Vicino. How does that sound?” he asked, motioning to the Italian restaurant in the corner of the parking lot.

“Sounds great. I love that place.”

I walked around his side of the car, toward the restaurant. As I got closer to him, he extended his arm and placed his hand in front of his belt, positioning his elbow out, away from his body.

“Hold onto my arm, Kelli. Walk beside me, holding my arm. Always walk on my left side and always hold my arm, understand?” he said as he looked over his shoulder at me.

I walked to his left side and wrapped my right arm through his extended arm. As we walked side by side toward the restaurant, I felt warmth, a certain comfort that I have never felt. I felt like he had me here, positioned beside him, to protect me. To make sure that I was comfortable with him, and that I knew he was not only in charge but that he wanted everyone else to know it. I was falling for this guy and I was falling fast.

He had told me not quite twelve hours ago that he was going to own me. He may or may not know it, but he already did. He could tell me to do anything, right now, and I would do it. All of those questions that he asked me in that long email; I would do every one of them right now. This guy had a certain presence about him, a certain power. He didn’t express it, he wasn’t pushy or arrogant, but I would do whatever he wanted.

Pleasing him would make me so happy. As we walked toward the restaurant, I began to wonder if I could actually please him. What if I couldn’t? What if I tried as hard as I could, and he laughed at me? What if he told me I wasn’t even good enough to be his fuck-buddy? The thought of that began to make me feel ridiculously uncomfortable. As I stumbled over a hole in the parking lot, I realized that we were at the entrance of the restaurant.

“You alright?” he asked.

“Yes, I didn’t see the hole in the lot, sorry,” I smiled as I responded. Walking through the entrance, I smelled him again. The smell made my mouth water. The smell made me want to please him.

“You’ve been here before?” he asked me, nodding toward the menu.

“Yes, several times.”

“Well, Kelli, do you know what you want?”

Looking over the menu, I decided to get the Cobb salad. It was a great salad.

“Yes, I do,” I responded.

The restaurant was a fairly nice Italian restaurant; but the format for it was unique. There was a menu at the entrance, and a cashier at a bar. You ordered at the cashier, went to your table, and they delivered your food when it was ready. After you initially ordered your food, it was like any other restaurant, with wait staff to assist you. We stepped to the cashier to order our food.

“Go ahead, Kelli,” Erik said as we stepped to the bar.

“No, you go ahead, I am thinking.” I had no idea why I said that, but I did.

“I will have the Cobb salad,” Erik said, “and a glass of tea.”

Shit. Now, if I ordered the salad, it would look like I was copying Erik. I didn’t want him to think I wasn’t an individual, especially after all of the questions that he had asked me. Damn it, I really wanted that salad. I stood there and thought, trying to decide what to do.

“Kelli?” he said as he turned and looked at me.

“Uhhm. I will, uhmmm, have the lasagna,” I said, not even thinking. Surely they sold lasagna; it was an Italian restaurant, after all.

“And a glass of water,” I added.

Erik paid for the food, and we walked to the outside seating area. Watching him walk was hypnotic. He had a very mechanical walk, as if he were programmed to do it. He stood very erect and moved his arms a little bit, but not too much. He looked straight ahead, but his eyes were attentive to all of the things around him. I enjoyed watching him walk. I daydreamed about watching him walk the length of the parking lot.

The outside seating area consisted of a patio that was surrounded by a stone fence, and trees, open to the outside and sky. A sidewalk separated the seating area from the parking lot. As we picked our table and I began to sit, he pulled my chair out from the table for me.

“Thank you,” I said. He nodded at me and sat down. As he sat down, he placed the receipt for the food at the center of the table. I noticed that he had folded it into a neat square.

“What do you want to talk about?” I asked. Immediately after I asked the question, I felt stupid. I felt it was kind of sophomoric of me.

“You choose, Kelli,” he responded.

I thought about what we could discuss. I didn’t want to talk. I wanted to eat and fuck. I didn’t even want to eat, I just wanted to fuck. I wanted to show Erik what I was able to do, sexually, and hopefully blow his mind. Making him happy and pleasing him more than he had ever been pleased was at the forefront of my list of things to accomplish today. I decided there was a subject we could talk about, if he would. I decided to try again.

“What about that long text you sent me, the one with all of the sexual questions? What was all of that about? More psycho-babble stuff?”

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