Page 316 of S is for SEX

“Drop the weapon,” the officer screamed again.

Holy shit, this dude thinks I’m the thief.

“Look, this guy was robbing me, trying to steal my car,” I screamed as I pointed down at the worthless heap of shit lying on the asphalt.

“Sir! Place your hands behind your head. Interlock your fingers and turn to face the car! After you lock your hands behind your head, take two steps back,” the officer demanded, his pistol pointing at me as he shouted commands.

Liv got out of the car and ran toward the officers screaming the entire way. What she was screaming made minimal sense to me, so I’m sure the officers understood nothing. Slowly, I raised my hands over my head, interlocked my fingers and started to turn around. As I rotated, the ass hat car thief began to move. Looking down at him and up at the officers made all of their screaming at me make sense. From their location, they were incapable of seeing him, as there was decorative shrubbery between him and them. The fact he was lying flat on the asphalt made their seeing him impossible. As he began to groan, I raised my foot from the pavement and kicked him in the head as hard as I could.

“What the fuck? Kleitz, there’s another one here on the ground. Big boy here just kicked him. Keep your goddamned hands where we can see them,” the officer screamed.

“They’re behind my head, just like you said,” I responded as I rolled my eyes.

Police officers in Texas will shoot first and ask questions later. The entire state, citizens included, is as gun friendly, gun happy and gun toting of a society as has ever existed. I’ve never had a tremendous affection for police officers, and I’m sure I never will. As the officer placed his hand cuffs on my right wrist, he yelled at one of the other officers.

“He’s too god damned big, Kleitz. I need another pair of cuffs. I can’t get him cuffed with one pair,” the officer screamed.

As the second officer approached, he screamed, “Parker! Weapon at your feet!”

I had no idea why he felt the need to announce it - screaming and making the other officers nervous, but he did. The remaining police, who were now climbing over the bushes, coming through the parking lot and walking in from the street, all stopped. As he screamed, they uniformly pulled their weapons.

What ended up being a huge misunderstanding of a clusterfuck began to come to an end as Liv and officer whistle-dick started walking toward where I stood. As an officer was handcuffing the real thief, Liv walked our direction. She was now capable of speaking slowly and legibly.

“Kleitz, Parker, listen up,” whistle-dick said as he walked closer to where we stood.

“The big guy without a shirt. He’s the victim. The fella on the ground, he’s who we want. He was trying to jack the Chevy,” he said as Liv stood at his side pointing toward the thief.

The officer helped the thief to his feet. He stood beside me, rubber legged and handcuffed, still somewhat uncertain of what had actually happened. As he moaned and wiggled his jaw, the officer began to explain his Miranda rights.

“You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to an attorney. In the event…”

“But big boy here assaulted the fella on the ground. Kicked him in the face as I was walking up,” The officer unsuccessfully in charge of handcuffing me announced as he pointed back and forth between ass hat and I.

“Seriously?” I asked, one handcuff still dangling from my right wrist.

“Quiet,” he demanded.

“He was trying to jack my fucking car. He had a gun. I was unarmed,” I explained as I nodded my head toward the thief who stood beside me in handcuffs.

“I said quiet,” he demanded, “he was unconscious and unarmed when you kicked him. As a matter of law, that’s assault. Right Stone?”

“Well, I suppose it is, Parker. But we don’t necessarily need to write it in the report, now do we?” the officer standing with Liv responded.

“Yeah Parker,” I sighed.

“I said be quiet. I’ll cite you for resisting arrest,” Parker snapped.

“I didn’t do anything. What the fuck. I hate fucking cops,” I growled.

They were really starting to piss me off. I had to stand beside the guy who tried to steal my car like I was a criminal. The emotion of the fucktard trying to steal my car, devising a way in my mind to overpower him, the arrival of the cops and me smacking his stupid ass was a little more than I had hoped for - especially as I was getting ready to pump Liv full of my cum.

“Oh, you hate cops, huh? Well, we saved your ass,” Parker announced.

“No, I knocked that piece of shit out before you arrived,” I bragged.

“I said quiet,” Parker bellowed.

“Stone?” Parker whined.

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