Page 212 of S is for SEX

STEVIE

I had always believed people were like oranges. Peeling away the outer layer - the protection - was required to find something tasteful. Proceeding without doing so would always produce a bitter taste.

And, so far, no one had bothered to peel away my outer skin.

Until now.

“Ready?” I hollered.

“I’ve been ready, what are you doing in there?” he shouted.

I pushed the door open and walked across the tile floor with as much grace as possible. After walking past him, I paused, turned, and allowed the purse to swing at my side. The shoes had a 6”heel, but with a 2” platform they were very easy to walk in. The dress was black with a colorful floral print, and although I recognized none of the designer’s names, everything was obviously very high quality.

“Well?” I asked.

“Speechless,” he said.

“I like these heels, but I really liked the ones I had on a minute ago. With the studs,” I said over my shoulder.

Sitting on the edge of the couch, he crossed his legs and rested his hands in his lap. “Personally, I preferred the leopard shoes you wore with the tattered jeans, and the sleeveless black dress. I guess it’s good you don’t have to just pick out one outfit.”

“I seriously get to keep all of these? Everything?” I asked.

He grinned and nodded his head.

“I don’t know what these shoes cost, but everyone sure talks a lot about them,” I said as I twisted my foot to the side and gazed down at the red sole.

“I didn’t pay attention. It’s irrelevant. All that matters is that you like everything,” he said.

“I love everything,” I responded. “What possessed you…”

He cocked his head to the side and shrugged his shoulders. “I was just daydreaming, and it spawned an online shopping spree. I’d see a beautiful dress, and couldn’t help but wonder what you’d look like in it. I knew if it was beautiful without you, it couldn’t do anything but become more so if you were wearing it. And, there was only one way to find out that I knew of,” he said as he stood from his seat.

I had heard people say in my past that we are a product of our environment. I never really paid much attention to the phrase, or gave it any thought. Now, I believed it made perfect sense. The person I had been all my life was a result – not wholly, but definitely primarily – of my financially inability to produce change.

My finances had always been limited to paying my rent and supplying my boyfriends with beer, drugs, and motorcycle parts. Not once was my financial focus on myself, nor did I have the ability or desire to really make it so.

Standing in the living room of Wilson’s mansion wearing my new dress, holding my new purse, and wearing my new Red Bottom shoes, I wondered if everyone on this earth was able to live their life without financial restraint, just who they would become.

The clothes and the car didn’t change who I was, but they allowed me to feel the way I had always wanted to feel.

Beautiful.

“So you think I make the clothes even more beautiful?” I asked.

He shook his head from side to side as he slowly walked in my direction. “I believe the clothes are a means of allowing you to believe you’re as beautiful as you truly are.”

He was truly a wonderful man. I swallowed the lump in my throat, but I wasn’t able to do anything about the butterflies in my stomach or my rapidly beating heart. I felt like crying. To go from a man who would punch me in the face for not having dinner ready to being treated like royalty wasn’t an easy thing. As my eyes welled with tears, I gazed down at the floor. He continued to slowly walk toward me. I pivoted on the balls of my feet and turned away.

I had to.

“Thank you,” I murmured as I walked away.

You’re beautiful, too.

I got undressed, placed the clothes back into their boxes, and put on the jean shorts and flip-flops I had worn previously. As I looked in the mirror and attempted to fix my hair, I felt like less of a woman. I gazed at myself blankly in the mirror feeling slightly confused. Wearing the clothes Wilson had purchased made me feel different. I felt beautiful, worthy of his praise, and although the clothes didn’t transform me into someone else, I definitely didn’t feel like I was my normal self while wearing them.

As I had paraded through the home wearing the new clothes, I was filled with pride.

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