Page 387 of S is for SEX

“Holy fuck, Chuck,” I squealed.

“Dude, what happened?” Chuck responded.

“Your name’s Chuck?” I asked.

“No, Christy. No!” Heather screamed as she pulled her car keys out of her purse.

“I know,” Chuck admitted, riding his board beside me.

I stopped, turned, and looked at Heather. She shook her head. I turned to Chuck as he propelled his skateboard well ahead of us. I turned back toward Heather and raised my eyebrows.

“No,” she screeched.

“Hey Chuck, I have a question,” I shouted.

Chuck stopped and looked back in my direction.

“I have answers,” he responded.

“Chuck, this might sound crazy, but…”

“Christy, no!” barked Heather, her hands on her hips and car keys dangling from her finger.

I held the back of my gown as I walked ahead toward Chuck, who was now slowing to a fairly stationary pace.

“Stop Chuck,” I demanded.

“Stopping…” he responded.

“Chuck, this may sound weird…really weird. But I have a bet – a sexual bet. I’m fucking my way through the alphabet, letter by letter. I need a “C”. Your name starts with a “C”. Would you fuck me?” I asked.

“I would be honored,” he said as he took a bow.

“Chuck, I need to make this quick, I have to get to work. We need to do this like now,” I said.

“Oh, you want to have sex now? In this here garage?” he said as he waved his arms aimlessly in a circle.

“Yes, over at her car,” I said, pointing to Heather’s yellow Bug.

“You’re barefoot,” he said as he moved his hair behind his ears.

“You’re right, I am. And I’m dead serious,” I responded.

He started rubbing his face with his hands, then looking at his palms. He repeated this process and didn’t speak.

“Chuck!” I shouted.

“Yes!” he responded, dropping his hands.

“Can you do this?”

“What about her?” he asked, pointing at Heather - who was now unlocking the Volkswagon.

“She’ll stand watch,” I responded.

“Stand and watch?” he asked.

“No stand watch. Make sure no one’s coming,” I replied.

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