Page 317 of S is for SEX

The officer standing with Liv looked up from his note pad, blinked a few times and walked closer to where we stood.

“Do I know you?” he asked as he approached.

I shook my head slowly, “I’m afraid not, officer.”

“You sure?” he asked.

“Quite. Never been arrested. Not that I shouldn’t have been, but it’s never happened,” I smiled.

“I know you from somewhere,” he said as he studied my face.

“Nope,” I shook my head.

“Where you from?” he asked.

“724 All Hallows, right around the corner,” I responded.

“I know you from somewhere. Where do you work?” Stone asked.

“Ain’t got a job,” I responded.

“You drive a car like that, and you ain’t got a job,” he mimicked, “The car’s got to be worth forty grand.”

“More like sixty,” I corrected him.

“I box. I’m a boxer. I don’t look at it as a job.”

“That’s it!” he shouted.

“Television. The uhhm. Yeah. The fight with Dekkar and Mc Claskey. You were standing beside Dekkar for the interview with a little blonde-headed girl. Think it was Dekkar’s wife,” Stone said as he waved his finger at me.

“Yup. Dekk and I are best friends.” I nodded.

“You and Shame on Dekkar? Best friends?” he asked.

“Yep.” I nodded.

“No shit. Hear that Parker? Kleitz? Shane Dekkar’s best friend right here. Probably hit this guy with a three piece before he knew it. Think you can get him to give me an autograph?” Stone asked.

“I can have him come up here in ten minutes and sign the hood of your goddamned cop car if you’ll have Parker take this cuff of my wrist,” I laughed.

“God damn it Parker. Get the cuffs off of him,” Stone demanded.

“Probably good thing your girl here called 911. You’d have beaten that guy to death if we hadn’t showed up, huh?” he asked.

And now it all began to make sense. Liv called the cops from the car while I was talking to shit-for-brains. Frantic, she probably explained there was a guy with a gun, something about a tattooed bald guy and a carjacking. In perfect cop fashion, the police came screaming onto the scene to the rescue.

I hate cops.

“That’d be my guess, yeah,” I agreed as Parker took off the cuffs.

“So, I’m going to need to fill out a report and get statements. We’ll take him to the station. I can get most of the information here, but you’ll need to stop at the station and fill out a report of everything that happened here tonight. Hell, maybe even tomorrow would be fine,” Stone said flatly as he motioned toward the shit-head thief.

“And if I get Dekk to sign the hood of your cruiser, you’ll forget the assault?” I chuckled.

“Assault? What assault?” Stone laughed.

“He hit me. And kicked my face,” the shit-head said.

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