Page 229 of S is for SEX

ETHAN

Having the house to ourselves, the unavailability of Rain’s favorite smoothie, and what I would describe as a bleak beginning to our first date made me feel I needed to make a bold statement about my feelings for Rain. Additionally, I felt expressing my feelings physically would far exceed my ability to convey the way I felt through communication. With Cade away from the house at the bar until much later in the night, I felt I knew where this night was going to end up; but I wanted to talk first. There was one thing I knew I needed to discuss before this relationship took another step in the direction it was surely headed.

“I need to tell you something,” I said.

“Now?” she breathed.

I nodded my head and sat up.

“Uhhm, okay,” she said as she wiped our kiss from her lips with the back of her hand.

“I’m uhhm. I…when I was a kid, I had an accident on a mini bike. I came down really hard on the backbone of the frame, and it was…well, it was right where it counts. I ended up off the bike and on a rock at some point, and fucked up my spine. They never really decided which one did it, the spine injury, or the other, but…I uhm.” I hesitated, somewhat embarrassed to continue. “I can’t have kids.”

“I’m sorry,” she said as she reached over and touched her hand against my knee.

Sorry you started this relationship, or sorry it happened?

“Why?” I asked.

“Well, I’m sorry it happened. And I guess I’m sorry you’ll never be able to enjoy fatherhood,” she said.

“Thanks. So, where’s this leave us?” I asked.

She wrinkled her nose slightly as her eyes narrowed. “What do you mean?”

I shifted my weight on the bed nervously, and turned toward her. “Are you okay with it?”

“Ethan I love you. I don’t expect you to be in love with me in the way I am with you. I don’t know, I’m sure it develops differently with different people, but I love you. I know I do. And if you can’t have kids, it may sound stupid, but I love that too. It’s part of you. I accept it, and I’ll always accept it,” she responded as her hand rubbed along my inner thigh.

“You sure?” I asked, somewhat relieved she had responded in the manner she did.

She nodded her head and leaned toward me, tilting her head upward as she did.

“Kiss me,” she said.

Although I had been upfront and truthful with my former wife, I had never really been truthful with myself after she left me. When she and I initially discussed my injury, the relationship commitment on her part came after a month-long period of time in which she contemplated her decision. In retrospect, her need for a future was summed up in nothing other than my inability to provide her with a family, but I had told myself it was a financial future she desired. Looking back now, she had probably never been honest with herself. Her desire to have children as a part of our relationship was apparent in her decision to leave me.

Rain’s immediate acceptance of me and my shortcoming was comforting, and left me without wonder of her intentions. I leaned into her and kissed her. The kiss quickly developed into a full-fledged make out session on the bed. As we continued to kiss, the kissing became more passionate, and eventually hands began to search for more.

As her hand slid up and down my inner thigh, mine worked their way under her shirt and found her breasts. After a few failed attempts on my part, she reached back and unclasped her bra. As I lifted her tee shirt over her head, she began to unbuckle my belt. After a few more minutes of kissing and groping, we laid side-by-side on the bed, naked. I rolled over onto my back and gazed down the length of my body, admiring her skin against mine.

After a short and rather silent moment of taking note of every inch of her naked body, I watched with much excitement as she kissed along my chest and torso.

“I love looking at your body,” she said as she kissed my stomach.

I watched her hands slide from my chest to my stomach, and eventually rest on my hips.

“And I love…” in mid-sentence I stopped.

My thoughts escaped me as she lifted herself slightly and began to lick the tip of my twitching cock.

“There’s only one way I’ll allow you to do that,” I said as she slowly began to lick along the underside of the shaft.

“And how’s that?’ she asked as she lifted her head slightly.

“Turn around and grind your pussy on my face while you do,” I breathed.

“I like the sound of that,” she said as she began to crab-walk her way around me.

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