Page 38 of Mercenary Princess

“I’ll be fine.” She sighed. “I need this.” She assessed her friend for a moment. His current look was calculating, the strategist at work. “If I think our secrets are in danger, I’ll stop.” She’d do it in a heartbeat. No matter how much she wanted more of the Russian, she would never risk her family. Her saving grace was that no one would suspect her of being in a covert organization. She was certain their secrets would be safe.

Though, things pertaining to Viktor? She sobered. “If you’re planning on digging into his life and having him followed, it’s best I don’t know anything about that.” She hated to admit weakness, would hate being out of the loop, but she could be a liability where those details were concerned. “He sees through my expressions.”

She’d worried her guilt had given her away when she took the jamming device. She was royal though, so that type of equipment wouldn’t be out of the ordinary.

Forde seemed to consider her for a moment. “You know you are allowed to be happy and have a life, Sophia.”

He wasn’t just talking about Viktor now, which sobered her mood. “I have access to more marks as the crown princess of Porenza. You know that.”

“That’s no reason to stay a prisoner in your own home… or palace, as it were. Seeing him wouldn’t be as big a challenge if not for your family.”

After a long moment, she finally asked. “How do I let it go? How do I turn my back on family and country?”

“I’m only going to say this once.” Anything to do with feelings was not Forde’s forte, yet he was forging ahead, which meant whatever he had to say was important.

“It’s time to stop punishing yourself for things you had nothing to do with. You don’t have to be a princess to do good things for Porenza. You have money of your own, and there’s no way in hell your brother or mother will cut off the money to your charity projects if you leave. It would not be viewed well by the public if they did. And as far as family goes, they aren’t going to change. They’ll eventually demand too much from you because your brother has kept the monarchy in the dark ages. You can choose to be miserable following old rules, or you can break away and live the life you want, at least somewhat. Remember, you do a lot of good, and none of it requires a crown.”

She’d started chewing her bottom lip at some point in his out-of-character tirade and forced herself to stop, whispering, “Thank you.”

“Now that I’ve solved world peace, I’m going to bed.” The words were meant to be funny, but his joking tone still held a serious quality to it. After bending down to kiss her head, he turned toward the door, saying, “I’ll be here for the next week in case you need me. Cade and Sean will stay close as well.”

She curled back into the heavy leather office chair, thinking about what he’d said. Her intentions to audit the mercenary accounting books seemed far too daunting as her mind filled with Forde’s words.

Had she stayed in her position just to punish herself?

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