Page 47 of The Book Signing

Chapter Twenty-Four

ABIGAIL

I’m feeling quite happy with the talk, until suddenly, I see a man stumble into the room. I crane my neck and pause as I take in the familiar-looking jacket and cap.

What the hell? Jaxon?

He doesn’t come closer but stands at the back and then raises his hand.

Feeling annoyed, and under pressure to deal with him, I clear my throat. “Yes?”

“I don’t get it, ya know. A pretty lady like you, talking on about how you’re a changed woman. Then end up leaving a hotel room in the early hours wearing the same outfit you wore the previous night. Like, are you selling lies, just to make money? I dunno, all this mumbo jumbo seems flaky to me.” He then gestures to the people surrounding me, looking at me with questioning glances.

Who the fuck does he think he is?

But alright, I’ll play his game, and even though I need to lie again, it’s a way to rid myself out of the lie surrounding mine and Jaxon’s ‘relationship’.

I look at him, take a deep breath to calm my angry nerves, and then smile at the rest of the people in the room. “Before you jump to any conclusions, I would like to clear things up.” Whilst my demeanor is relaxed, I want to cock punch Jaxon. “That wasn’t a one-night encounter. It was with a man I was seeing. You might have seen me around here with him. It was also the night I broke it off with him, realizing I’m not ready to date and need some self-preservation.”

I am lying about Jaxon, but certainly not about the latter. Especially when it comes to a liar who thrives on sleeping with women and then writes about it. My blood boils as I think about our conversation this morning.

I am met with nods and smiles. Some even say, “good on you!”, which pleases me because not everything is entirely false.

“Whatever, I still think it’s all fluff. The guy next door is better, selling the truth and being open about it.” He smirks, then leaves quickly with a huff.

I have no idea what Jaxon is thinking, but he’s going to hear a mouthful from me when I’m done.

I fucking slept with him, lost myself in his charms and what I thought at the time was honesty. Something about him tickled me wrong at the beginning, but my resolve was thinning the more time I spent with him. It came to a point where I wanted to see him, rather than run in the opposite direction. Now, his lies have ruined the trust I was building with him.

Worse now, because he opened his fucking mouth to rub salt into the wound. This is my work he’s messing with.

I don’t know what makes me angrier–what he did, or that I was falling for his charms despite knowing he was only interested in one thing. Falling into that trap all over again, and he probably doesn’t give two little shits about me.

Once this all ends, providing I pull my big girl panties on and patch things up here, I will give him a verbal lashing of a lifetime.

Mark. My. Words.

JAXON

“You know that feeling, like no matter what you do, you’re doing it wrong? Or that feeling where you sit there biting your nails, thinking ‘shit, what will others think of me? Because I left someone I just slept with without asking them for more’?”

I see heads bop up and down, making it known that we’ve all been there and done that.

“Well, let me tell you this. If you clarified that you only wanted one night, and you give it to them. Then it’s on them. It’s the partner’s psyche that’s manifesting their hopes instead of understanding the mutual agreement. It’s like a deal. You simply played your part and don’t deserve to feel anything less.”

More people smile and nod, which I thought would make me thrilled. But no.

Instead, my thoughts roam to how empty and surprised I felt to be left alone. In bed. At the table. We knew it was only going to be for one night before reality seeped back in. I shouldn’t feel annoyed atAbigail leaving me. But in a very fucked up way, I do. It’s ironic, really.

And here I am, preaching to everyone this… irony. But it’s my book. It’s what I wrote. Perhaps I was more excited at the time, but now, it just makes me think of ‘what ifs’.

“If you’ve read further on, you would know that there is more to it. There has been scientific research that suggests that even in the animal world, promiscuity isn’t uncommon either. Scientists are now looking into promiscuity for women as a way to weed out what qualities in partners they want. Which would help them in the long-term.” I clear my throat and continue, head clouding with thoughts of whether I was one of those sexual partners that Abigail is weeding out, so she knows what she wants.

Do I have anything that I can offer her?

Fuck, where are these thoughts coming from?

“So, uh, even in other works, it’s not all about sleeping around with different people. There are other things to consider.”

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