Page 34 of Not In A Billion Years

A welcome novelty. Takes off the I’m-wearing-a-thirty-thousand-dollar-watch edge most women seem to care so much about. But like the best things in life, she’s going to make me work for it.

A ping distracts me from my mental reverie.

From Blake

Sorry, Gabriel. You seem like a perfectly nice man, but I have to focus on my company now. I don’t have time for distractions

Oof. Miss Avery doesn’t pull punches.

To Blake

That was brutal

I swear no woman has ever given me the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ speech before even agreeing to go on a date with me

From Blake

I bet no woman ever gave you that speech, period

True. But I don’t comment on it.

From Blake

And I thought I’d been gentle?

To Blake

Calling me a perfectly nice man?

Come on

That was unnecessarily cruel

My ego is blown to smithereens

From Blake

Go stand in front of the mirror in a superhero pose, it’ll recover in no time

To Blake

I can’t move, remember?

From Blake

Deep breaths

You’ll be fine in a couple of days, I promise

Night, Gabriel

The incomprehensible wish of hearing her say those words to me instead of reading them in a text—possibly even while she’s lying sated in my bed—takes me over with a violent intensity.

To Blake

Sweet dreams, Blake

PS. Try not to make them about my rubber duck

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