He is soft and gentle with the children in a way that he rarely is with anyone else. He hums along with the song as he does another round of the room.
When he makes his way over to me, there’s a smile on his face. It’s a look of peace that I’ve seen often in the last couple weeks. Tyler sits on the stool beside me and pulls one of the notebooks from the stack in the corner of the table.
He’s only beside me, looking through lyrics, for a few minutes before one of the kids starts calling his name. Tyler winks at me before weaving his way through the kids sitting on chairs through the garage.
As he crouches down next to one of the girls, my heart skips a beat. Tyler shows the girl how to pick the chords for the bridge of the song. She smiles up at him like he’s the best thing to ever happen to her.
If we were to have children one day, would they look at him that way?
I don’t know what our future looks like, but it could look something like this. We could spend our days writing songs and performing together. When he wasn’t on tour or with the band, he might be happy to help me with the students.
Maybe we would be sitting in his gorgeous house and teaching our children how to play guitar.
Even though I think that I want a future with him, I don’t want to think about it anymore today. Or tomorrow.
For the next couple days, I just want to focus on getting through the show. Everything after that can wait.
Tyler isn’t going anywhere this time.
CHAPTER 16
TYLER
There’s one day left until the show, and I don’t remember the last night I got a good sleep. It may have been a week ago. Maybe two.
This is the show that kicks off another tour. When that tour starts, fans are going to expect the Tyler Finch they’ve always known.
I don’t think I can be that person anymore, but I don’t know how not to be that person either.
Management isn’t going to like the new Tyler. They might have wanted me to clean up my act a little, but they’re still going to want me to appear single. Tony told me as much in a call last night.
I can’t hurt Cassie by acting like I’m single.
As I step onto the stage for our final rehearsal, it’s the only thought running through my mind. I look out at the thousands of empty seats as I take center stage. Cassie stands to my left, a bright purple electric guitar slung across her body.
She grins at me as she looks out at where the crowd will be sitting tomorrow night, then looks over her shoulder at Matt and starts bouncing around.
“All right,” Tony says as he appears in front of the stage. “This is it. Final rehearsal before the hometown show. If there was ever a time for you guys to be the best you’ve ever been, it’s now.”
“We can manage that,” Ben says as he steps forward with his black bass guitar.
Matt smacks his drumsticks together, counting us off before he begins to play. Cassie and Ben join in, their instruments forming into a harmony we wrote when we were nineteen and just starting the band.
The lyrics run through my head, but when I approach the microphone, no sound comes out. My stomach starts to turn just thinking about what comes next for the band.
The lights are too bright and warm as they shine down on me. I lift up a hand to shield my eyes and take a deep breath. Cassie moves to stand beside me, bumping me with her hip.
I look down at the way her fingers move across the frets, trying to find my place in the song. She nods her head in time with the beat, her full lips mouthing the words.
Except, when I see those full lips and that beautiful smile, all I can think of is what I’ll be leaving behind when I go on tour. I won’t get to wake up in the morning and see Cassie in my bed. I won’t get to see her before I go to sleep.
I have to act like she isn’t the most important person in my life and it’s going to tear me apart on the inside.
I don’t know if I can do this.
I have to, though. I worked too hard to get to this point. If I give it up now, then I’m going to go back to where I started from. I’m going to become my parents.
Bile rises in my throat as I leave the stage and run for the nearest garbage can. I grip the edges, my stomach heaving. Nothing comes up. I take a staggering step back and lean against the wall as sweat beads on my forehead.