Page 21 of Four Pucking Christmases

Within minutes, there’s nowhere for us to go. There are people behind us, beside us, and in front of us as they encircle the island and all the food.

I'm from a big family, but this kitchen ispacked.

Clearly, these are neighbors and friends of the McNeills, not just relatives. Though Lori is teasing and scolding the guys from Crew’s old hockey team as if they are her sons.

The general mood in the room is jovial, affectionate, and warm.

I love it.

"Okay everyone,” Lori says. “We want to welcome the newcomers to our family, too, before everyone scatters. This is Danielle, Crew’s girlfriend. And this is Nathan and Michael, Dani's other boyfriends."

All four of us stiffen. We are literally in the middle of the room, seated on stools where everyone can see us, and I guess we're just going to put that all out there.

"Okay, Mom," Crew says with a chuckle, running his hand over Dani’s back.

Lori's eyes widen. "Oh my gosh, is that not how I'm supposed to introduce you?" Her gaze scans over all four of us. "Because I mean, you're not really his boyfriends. I mean, you're not sleeping together. I mean, I know yousleeptogether. But you're not reallysleeping together." She shakes her head. "Unless you are. Which is great. That's completely fine with us. Of course."

Nathan has now swallowed coffee down the wrong pipe again, tried to breathe, and gotten more coffee in his lungs. I’m wracking my brain for the right thing to say here. Dani is bright red but trying very hard not to laugh. And Crew lost the fight with trying not to laugh two seconds in. If he was even trying not to in the first place.

Crew reaches over and slaps Nathan on the back. "Okay, so first, maybe I should point out that Armstrong is also my boss, and you all need to be at least a little cool.”

Nathan thunks himself on the chest, shaking his head.

Finally, I say, "That is probably a fine way to introduce us, Lori. Though, I would say that Crew, Nathan, and I are good friends as well."

“I mean, you’d kind of have to be," a man leaning against the refrigerator says.

"Everyone, my uncle Tony," Crew says with an eye roll.

“I’m just saying, you see each other naked, right?” He doesn’t seem to be poking at us or trying to embarrass anyone. He’s just curious.

They all seem curious. It’s… kind of nice. This is Crew’s inner circle. Strangers on the internet aren’t entitled to details about our private life, but these people maybe are. Notallthe details, of course. But if they have basic questions about how our relationship works, that’s fair.

“I’ve seen all of those guys naked multiple times, too,” Crew says, gesturing with his fork at his ex-teammates. “And I’ve seen Jack Hayes and Blake Wilder naked a bunch of times too, but they’re not my boyfriends.” He digs back into the cinnamon roll he’s eating.

“But you’re going on dates together,” Tony says.

“You mean going out to dinner, movies, concerts, hiking, shopping?” Crew asks. “Hell, Tony, you and I have been on a bunch of dates then.”

Tony thinks about that. “I guess everyone is just assuming that it’s more since there’s sex involved.”

“And no one really knows what goes on in our bedroom except the four of us,” Crew says, lifting a shoulder and seeming much more concerned about getting icing on every bite of his cinnamon roll than he is about what people think of his sex life. He takes the last bite and looks up at his uncle. “People at work asking you?”

Tony nods. “Yeah. Some are dicks about it, but most are just curious. You know they follow you and are big fans. Guess they think they can ask questions since you’re my nephew.”

Crew nods and reaches for a second cinnamon roll. “I get it. Just tell them you saw us all at Christmas, and we seemed really happy.” He glances down the island at the three of us. “Because we are.” Then he looks at his uncle. “That’s just vague enough it will drive them nuts, and it will mean they’ll keep following us on social media.”

“Yeah, I’ll do that,” Tony says, nodding.

“But you need a photo with the four of us,” Crew adds. “So they believe you really saw us.”

Tony smiles. “That’s perfect.”

“We’re so happy that you’re happy, baby,” Lori tells Crew, scooping eggs onto his plate.

"Yeah, I mean, think of how awkward it would be if two of you guys irritated the shit out of each other or something," Luna says, propping a hip against the island and grinning at us.

"Very awkward," Crew agrees. Then he winks at Nathan.

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