Page 2 of Four Pucking Christmases

Then we’re looping up through Indiana to see Dani's mom and dad and the extended family that always comes for Christmas Eve. I have no idea what to expect there.

After we spend the night there, we’re stopping in Decatur to have Christmas Day brunch with Michael's family. Wouldn't you know that I would get involved in a poly relationship that includes a guy who is the oldest of six? I won’t just be meeting his mom and dad for the first time, but all five of his sisters, their significant others, and several nieces and nephews.

I feel my gut clench.

I have been through a number of high-stakes, cutthroat business negotiations in my life. I've sat through very tense hockey games where my team could win or lose it all. I’ve sat at doctor's appointments and heard terrible news about my grandfather's health.

And I don't think I’ve ever been as tense as I am right now, thinking about the next two days and the three fucking Christmases that we’re going to have to get through.

But I need to go see my grandfather first. I don't have a lot of family to bring into the chaos. Thankfully. At least I won’t be contributing to this… Damn, even with my nerves about it all, I hesitate to call it a mess.

I’m about to meet the people who helped make Danielle, Crew, and Michael into the people they are. And those people are now the three most important people in my life.

But yeah, Nathan Armstrong, a forty-one-year-old billionaire, mature, grown-assed man, is nervous.

I grab my phone off the counter, tuck it into my pocket, and start for the door. My driver will be downstairs waiting for me. He’ll take me to the nursing home, where Val is going to meet me. We'll talk with my grandfather for a little bit, and then I'll be able to swing by and pick up some food before coming back to the apartment.

"Where are you going?”

My hand is literally on the doorknob when I hear Michael's voice behind me.

I take a breath. Fuck.

I turn back. "Just out for a little bit."

"Great. I'll go with you. I wanted to grab some more stuff for brunch."

I was going to get the brunch stuff. Michael's the cook, so I don't mind being the one who grabs supplies. Of course, I could have someone do that for us. But there's something about being the one who picks out the food and drinks we enjoy together that I really enjoy. I guess it’s my way of providing for the family.

That's also bizarre. I've always had other people shop for me and oftentimes cook for me as well.

Food is certainly something I enjoy in social settings and have used to impress people, and I definitely can tell the difference between an expensive steak and a cheap one. But since having people in my home more often, sharing meals with me, I've started to care more about being a part of it all.

I love that they all want to spend time at my apartment most often. It makes sense, of course. I have the most space. But both Michael and Crew make great money and have very nice apartments. There's just something about them all coming to my apartment that means a lot to me.

"I'm actually not going to the grocery store first," I tell Michael.

But even as I'm trying to think up an excuse to keep him in the apartment, I know it's not going to work. Crew is a little easier to distract, and I could just ask Danielle to leave it alone, and she would, but Michael is insightful. He can read us all. He'll know something's up.

"Where do you have to go?"

What’s the point of lying? At some point, they're going to ask me if I'm going to see my grandfather. I'd be a real asshole if I didn't see him for Christmas.

But these three make me so happy. So much of our time together is fun and happy. I guess I’m hesitating to take them with me today because… it could be sad.

My grandfather may or may not be having a good day. He may not even know who I am. It's easy to go see him for Christmas on the twenty-third because he won't know that it's the twenty-third. We can tell him that it's Christmas Eve, or Christmas Day, or, hell, Easter, and he won't know the difference. And a couple of hours after my visit, he may not remember I was there.

I sigh. "I'm going to the nursing home. Valerie and I are going to see my grandfather this morning."

Michael's eyes widened. "Hell, Nathan. Give me a second. I'll go with you."

"You don't have to."

"Of course, I don't have to. I want to. You don't need to do that alone."

"I've done it alone a lot."

Michael's waist is just wrapped in a towel, but when he crosses his arms and looks pointedly at me, I know that I'm the one who is vulnerable here.

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