Page 38 of The Ties We Break

Looking through my bag, I find the short denim skirt and black vest top that Sian picked for me, along with the matching lace black lingerie. I waste no time getting out of this flimsy outfit and pull on my other. Before, when I tried this on at home, I didn’t want to look sexy or appealing, and I was annoyed with Sian for making me look so good. But now I know there's a chance Declan could be the real winner, I can’t help but think how much he will like my look.

Just as I’ve finished putting on my lipstick in front of the mirror, I am caught off guard, and everything happens so fast. Someone throws an arm around my neck, and I feel a large man pull my back against his front. I try to fight until I feel the cool sting of something hard against my throat, and I realise it must be a knife. The more I move, the more it stings as the cold, hard body of the blade tip presses against my flesh. I freeze, not wanting the knife to cut me any deeper.

Realising he doesn’t need to keep me pinned anymore, the knife doing that for him, he moves his free hand. First, he rips off my shirt before scooping his hands inside my bra and pulling out my boobs. As I risk a look up into the mirror, our eyes meet, and I think I always knew who it was, but upon seeing Guy’s menacing face staring back at me, I can’t help but scream.

With my panicked movements and screams, the blade cuts slightly across my skin, and blood drips down my neck. I stand still, knowing he will keep cutting me if I struggle.

“If they think they can shaft me like that, they can think again. I am taking what is mine. I am taking your virginity, and I’m going to ruin you for all other men,” he breathes in my ear, spittle flying everywhere as he rants. I stay silent, hating that I can’t do more.

I watch in the mirror as he takes one of my boobs into his free hand and starts to knead it like he’s making bread before squeezing my nipple painfully hard. He doesn’t do it to cause pleasure, only pain, and I try not to cry out or struggle again, but I can’t help it. I feel the corner of my neck sting just before another line appears, and more blood starts to flow down. He isn’t looking where he presses the knife, and I don’t think he even gives a shit if it cuts me. Luckily, it’s another superficial wound, but if the knife goes any deeper, it will hit my main artery, and I will bleed out easily. I do my best not to move, but it’s hard.

Guy continues to squeeze my nipples so many times that I start to get used to it, and the bleeding begins to slow down. I feel Guy kiss around the blood before he whispers in my ear. “Are you getting turned on, Belle?”

Fuck, this guy really is sadistic, and I know I should avoid angering him, but he’s not allowed to call me that. “I have told you, you do NOT get to call me that name. I will not respond if you do. And for the record, I will never get wet for you, you psycho!” I shout at the top of my lungs, and I know I’ve angered him more when he starts screaming manically. He slashes the side of my neck, causing yet more blood to fall. Whilst this is a longer and slightly deeper wound, it’s still superficial. As soon as he frees my hands, I put one straight up onto the wounds, hoping the pressure will help stem the blood flow.

I should have known he wouldn't let me go. Instead, he picks me up and manhandles me until I am bent over the sofa. Dropping his knife, he pulls my hands back and ties them with the belt from the robe I wore for the auction. With his body pressed against mine and me bent over at this awkward angle, I’m helpless, which is when I really start to panic. I start pushing backwards to try and free myself, but as he takes hold of my hips, all it does is pull me back harder against his cock. The more I try to wriggle free, the more turned on he becomes. He can fuck off if he thinks I’m helping his dick get harder in any way, so I lay completely still. It goes against every fibre of my being, but there is no way I’m letting this guy win.

I can’t give up, and while I feel him begin to stroke his fingers over my panty-covered pussy, I shout and scream as much as I can, begging for someone to save me. With a loud crack against my left ass cheek, followed swiftly by one to the right, I scream again, but this time it’s from the pain. He pulls back on my hair, causing me to arch my back, as he rips my panties off. I don’t even think I remember him tearing my shorts off. This whole fucking shitshow is turning into a blur of fear and confusion.

When Declan strokes his finger through my slit, it’s one of the hottest things I’ve ever seen, but this could quite possibly be the scariest. As Guy moves his finger through my slit and around my clit, I continue to fight and scream for help. He never picked the knife back up again, and even though I feel like I stand no chance, I have to try to push against him. To fight to get free.

“Don’t make me get the knife back out, Rose. Shut the fuck up!” he shouts as he spanks both of my asscheeks again before returning his hand to my still very dry pussy.

He tries to slide his finger inside, but the walls are so dry that the skin-on-skin friction is just too painful, I can’t help but scream. Tears fill my eyes, distorting my vision as I blink to get rid of them, only for more to form. I want to close my eyes, to think about something nice, to think about Declan, but I can’t. I don’t want him associated with this memory. I want him to be what I use to get over this asshole when the damage is done. He may be trying to burn my world down, but it’s Declan I will be with when it’s over. At least, I hope.

I’m trying to block out the way Guy keeps trying to push in his finger, and his irrational rants that he can’t get it in and that I need to get wetter, just as the door bursts open and three men come striding in. I expect Declan to be the one that runs straight for Guy, but Kian and what looks like Desmond do that, while Dec comes and scoops me up into his arms. He pulls a blanket out of the cabinet beside the sofa, and it’s similar to the one he covered us with after we scened in one of these rooms the other week.

Once he is sure I’m covered, he carries me back to his apartment, taking me straight to his bed. He moves so quickly that it doesn’t even register that he must have carried me through a club full of people. He is the only person I wanted to see.

Declan lowers me onto the comfy fabric of his bed before kneeling in front of me. Using the blanket to press against my neck wounds, he looks at me with tears in his eyes. I can’t believe this beautiful man is on his knees, crying for me. The pressure he puts on my wounds seems to be slowing the bleeding. Obviously, they aren’t too deep.

“Belle, I’m so sorry I didn’t get there sooner. Other than your neck, did he hurt you?” he asks, as he swipes my hair off my face and behind my ear. His eyes scan my body rapidly as if he is trying to assess every little piece of me for damage.

I take a few deep breaths, hoping he isn’t going to look at me differently. “Please don’t think badly of me. I tried to fight him, but he had a knife, and he’s just so big he controlled me easily. My nipples are sore from where he tugged on them past the point of pain, and he hit my ass so hard I’m sure he left marks. He tried to get a finger inside but couldn’t because I wasn’t wet. He spent most of the time ranting about why I couldn’t get wet for him. The more he tried, the more it hurt, and I was so fucking humiliated, Dec. I fought him, I really did. I promise I tried,” I choke out through my sobs. Tears roll down my cheeks as I look down at our hands, now clasped together on my knees.

“Of course, I’m going to look at you differently,” he says, and my eyes snap up to meet his as a cry escapes from my throat. I’m so lost in the revulsion I feel for myself, it’s not until Declan starts to shake me that I listen to the rest of his sentence. “I meant that I see you differently because the girl I see before me is now a beautiful, strong woman with the confidence and the balls to stand up to that guy. Your screaming alerted the person changing in the room next to you, who went straight to Desmond. He checked what was happening on the CCTV, just to make sure he wasn’t going to interrupt someone's fun screams. He rushed to get Kian and me when he saw it was you. I'm sorry it took us too long. Do you need to go to the hospital to get checked out? They can take swabs from you for evidence,” he mutters, but I just squeeze his hand to tell him to stop talking, and with a small smile, I lean down and press my lips against his. He freezes at first, clearly not sure if he is taking advantage of me in a moment when I need support. So, I decide to make it very clear.

“Declan, listen to me very carefully. I have been dreading tonight, and that is before I knew that cuntwaffle had been allowed to bid. Despite raising enough money to set me up for a very long time, and being more than enough to get me through University, it was still a sad day because it was the day I had to say goodbye to you. I thought I was doing the right thing, using the money to become a doctor and fulfil my promise to my mum, but I’m not. I got so hyper-focused that I forgot what the promise I made to my mum actually was. I promised her I would always live my best life and do what makes me happy. I promised her I would follow my heart. I thought that meant getting out of Ireland and becoming someone, but now I know that’s not what she meant.”

Taking a deep breath, I look up at Declan for the confidence I need to get the next part out. He doesn’t speak, it’s like he knows I just need him to give me some time to finish, but his eyes say everything I need to hear. With an encouraging smile, he urges me to continue.

“I dreaded tonight because I knew it meant saying goodbye to you. Once I lost my virginity to someone else, there would be no going back, and nothing could ever happen between us. Then, a miracle happened, and Kian stepped in. I need to talk to him about it later and about how the hell he got all that money, but right now, all I can think about is the fact nothing is stopping us. What happened with Guy was horrible and traumatising, and I will most likely start to freak out about it when I come down from this adrenaline rush. But all the way throughout, and even now, all I want is you. I promised Mum I would follow my heart, so that’s what I’m doing right now. So what do you say, Declan? The only thing standing in our way now is you. I love you. I think I have for a while. I’m not afraid to say it because it’s true. As they say, the ball is in your court.”

I speak the words loud and proud because, even though I can literally feel myself starting to shake, I mean every word I just said. In my books, people talk about those three little words being the hardest ones to say, but that isn’t the case for me. Telling Declan that I love him is the easiest thing I have ever done. Waiting for him to respond is the hardest.

Declan stands there with his mouth wide open, clearly stunned by my speech, but then he slowly seems to register what I said and pulls me in for a deep, bruising kiss. When our lips separate slightly, he keeps hold of my face, stroking it like he usually does. He keeps dabbing his shirt onto my wounds, ensuring they’re no longer bleeding. It appears to have slowed down.

“Fuck, Belle. I’m not a soppy guy, so I don't have the words like you. I know you will fall apart over what Guy just did to you at some point, and I will be with you, holding you through it all. Then, when I am sure you are okay, I will take the greatest gift you could ever give me; you and your virginity. We have all the time in the world now, and I sure as fuck am going to make sure you are ready, mentally and physically, before I claim you as mine for good. I have never been in love before, so I’m not entirely sure what it is, but I know that I feel more for you than I ever have. You are the most important person in my world, and if that’s it, then I love you too.” His words are like music to my ears, and I launch at him, pressing our lips together and forcing my tongue to gain access. We kiss like we have been apart for months instead of a day, and the way he claims me with his lips is intoxicating.

“Oh shit, I’ve just remembered…what about me leaving?” I blurt out, clearly talking out loud when I meant to say that in my head.

Declan just laughs. “As I said before. Let’s take things one day at a time. I have a very good feeling things will work out.”

He pulls me closer before grabbing something out of the bedside drawer. He rubs cream into my wound, and I can’t help but hiss. Then, as he peels the backing off, he covers my cuts with plasters. Once he is sure my wounds have been tended to, his expression shifts.

With that, he picks me up and sits me at the head of the bed. He starts to strip his clothes off, and I sit there mesmerised, watching as his perfect six-pack and that V I have come to love so much become exposed. In fact, I’m so engrossed in watching his movements, I miss when a T-shirt flies across the room, landing on my head.

“Get changed. We are sleeping tonight. Then we will see what tomorrow brings,” he says as he strips down to just his boxer shorts and crawls under the covers. I waste no time doing the same, pulling on his T-shirt and then crawling under the covers until I’m tucked up against his side with my head on his chest as his arms encase me.

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