Page 29 of The Ties We Break

“Please, Sir! Can I come?” I shout, and thankfully Declan’s reply is instant.

“Come all over Jasmine's fingers, just like the dirty slut you are. But make sure you tell everyone what you are,” he growls. This isn’t the first time he has talked dirty to me like this, we’ve practised in his house, and I loved it way more than I probably should have. He reassured me that calling me his dirty slut wasn’t a negative term, anything but, actually. I can’t deny that I like feeling owned by him. I just wish I actually was his. I hate to admit that not only do I want to be his, but I also want to tell him to forget about the auction. I want it to be him. I want to fall apart on his cock. But the words don’t come, or if they do, they’re too inaudible amongst all my other whimpering and begging.

Fuck, I really do like him, and I have no way to avoid us both being left heartbroken in some way.

The come down from my orgasm happens relatively quickly. As Declan slumps down on the sofa pulling me into his lap, which I willingly crawl into and curl up on his chest, hugging him tightly, Jasmine walks over to the wall and closes the viewing curtain. With a slight nod of her head and a big smile my way, she pulls a robe from the coat hook by the door before walking out of the room.

“How are you doing, beautiful? I know that was super intense, but you did so well.” His voice is low, just for me, and the rasp causes shivers to ripple down my spine. Declan clearly thinks I’m cold as he pulls a blanket out of one of the drawers beside the sofa, pulling it over us.

Keeping my head resting on his chest, taking in his heat, and allowing his heartbeat to sync with mine as my body slowly returns to normal, I finally find the words to answer him. “I had an amazing time. At first, I wasn't sure how I would feel when you took away my sense of touch and sight, but actually, it made the experience more intense. I liked experimenting with Jasmine; I just hope it won't be weird between us now. Whilst it was fun playing with her, I didn’t get the feeling that I would want to do it with other women, if that makes sense?”

A light chuckle escapes him at my words. “Of course it does. I could tell you were attracted to Jasmine, so I thought she was ideal to play with just this once. But I think it’s safe to say that we should clearly state men only on your form. And, because you are a virgin, I will be making it clear, one man only.”

Now it’s my turn to burst into a chuckle before a sense of melancholy descends as his words finally settle in. He asks me what the matter is, and I know there is no point even trying to get him to drop this, so I just have to hope he understands what I mean. “Sorry, I don't really know how to explain this, but when I was at the height of my impending orgasm, I couldn’t help but wish it was your cock in my pussy that I was falling apart on. I was so out of it that I nearly begged you to fuck me, and you know what, I wouldn’t have regretted it either. I know I need the money, and I’ll make a lot more by selling my virginity, but the idea of anyone other than you taking it just feels weird and wrong.”

I hear him release a huff, and I’m glad I’m not looking into his eyes because I don’t know what I might see there. “Believe me, Belle, if there were a way for me to be the one to take it, then I would, but I can’t. You are already advertised as a virginity sale, and you signed a contract, so I can’t take it back. Besides, you need the money. Think of the future you had in mind when you first came to me. I will make sure someone good gets you, I promise.”

I don’t bother to reply; they aren’t the words I wanted to hear. Dec sounds as though he’s talking through clenched teeth, almost as though he isn’t saying what he really means either. How the fuck did we get ourselves into this mess?

We sit in silence for a while, just holding onto each other, before Dec finally tells us we should go back to his apartment. “I should go home,” I whisper as he stands and begins to put my dress back into place before getting himself dressed.

“No, you are staying the night with me.”

I don’t argue. Not because it’s a clear instruction and I will get in trouble for talking back, but more because I really fucking want to spend the night with him. The idea of falling asleep in his arms, enveloped by his warmth and scent, is like heaven to me. I practically pull on Declan’s hand to lead him back to the apartment, making him chuckle. His face lights up in a way I’ve never seen before, and he looks so carefree and fun. I know we’re both ignoring the implications breaking this rule could have. It’s one of the only rules we’ve stuck to, and now we are ignoring it, I don’t fucking care.

As soon as we step foot on the main floor of the club, a man steps in front of our path, intercepting us. “Hello, Belle, is that your club name? You are a beauty. It’s so nice to meet you; I’m Guy. I’m the guy who is going to win you at the auction.”

I’m taken aback, not just by his forcefulness but by the way he grabs hold of my hand before I even offer it. His voice sounds almost slimy, a little bit like his hair. His sleek black hair is pushed backwards and held in place by more gel than anyone should need. Guy is clearly a regular gym-goer who likes to take care of himself. His muscles are almost bulging through his shirt, and I cannot help but feel a little repulsed by how his veins stand out along his arms. I know it’s arm porn for some women, but not me.

Before I even have a chance to reply, Declan pulls me back against his chest, causing Guy to let go of my hand. “Nobody is guaranteed to win, Guy, you know that. Plus, I will need to assess that you are a match for Belle before I even approve your bids on her. Oh, and also, you are forbidden from calling her Belle. Her club name is Rose.” Declan's voice has a slight growl to it, like he is trying to assert his authority over Guy, and I have to admit I’m pleased. The idea of this man winning me at the auction is a little scary. I’m also thrown that he would say my name is Rose. I thought he picked Belle as my club name. What the hell?

“I’m not worried about that. After watching your scene just now, I have a feeling our tastes will match perfectly. And once I have taken your virginity, you will never want to leave me.”

I hear a low growl rumble from Dec’s chest, and I know he’s starting to lose his temper, so I step in. “Unfortunately, that can never happen. I’m doing the auction as a one-off before I move away from Ireland. So, if you are hoping to find something more long-term, I’m not the girl for you. Now, if you will excuse me, we have somewhere to be.” Before I even give Guy a chance to reply, I take hold of Dec’s hand and pull him away from the situation. Thankfully Guy doesn’t follow us, and Dec wastes no time letting us into his apartment.

“Can he really bid on me?” I whisper into the darkness as Declan feels along the wall to turn the light on. I don’t want him to see the concern on my face, but there’s no doubt he can hear it in my voice.

“If the paperwork matches up, which I'm almost sure it does, and he has the money, then he can win you. I’m so sorry, Belle. I do my best to ensure that only the right people can bid on you. They have to pass all the deep dive security checks I do and the medicals, but if he passes those, I can’t stop him from bidding. I know he gives off that creepy asshole vibe, but he’s never done anything bad. Besides, after what I just witnessed, I think my Belle can take care of herself. You have grown so much in such a short space of time. I’m so proud of you,” he says as he pulls me against his chest, wrapping his arms around me. “How do you feel about Rose as your new club name? I know we never really discussed it, a bit like when I named you Belle, but I can’t let you use Belle. That name belongs on my lips only. You are my Belle, nobody else's.”

Before he even gives me a chance to answer, he presses his lips against mine, lightly at first, but then as soon as my tongue touches his lips, he kisses me fervently. As he slowly peppers kisses along my jaw and down to the sweet spot behind my ear, I can’t help the words that escape. They’re barely above a whisper, yet their message rings loud and clear. “I wish I really was yours.”

What the fuck did I say that for?

As I start to wake up, I’m not quite ready to open my eyes yet. Instead, I lay there thinking to myself. I slept all night for the first time in a long time. Typically, my dreams are haunted by the ghosts of my past, and I’m lucky to get even a couple of hours of sleep, but not last night. For some reason, I slept a lot longer, and my body feels better for it. As the sun’s rays hit my face through the gap in the curtain, I’m confused by how different my sleep pattern is today. I usually don’t go to sleep until the sun rises, and I wake before it reaches its peak. But it was still dark last night when I fell into bed, and given the bright array of colours, the sun was only beginning to rise.

Maybe the reason for my better sleep is that I went to sleep at a normal hour, or more likely, it’s because of all the fucking fantastic sex—minus the penetration, obviously— I’ve been having with my beauty.

My brain is constantly filled with thoughts of her, and I was floored by her comment last night about wanting it to be me that takes her virginity and how she’s willing to give up that share of the money to make sure I’m the one who gets her virginity. I’ve never had anyone say anything that thoughtful and loving to me.

I want to be the first to fuck her, to take her virginity. Of course, I do. The idea of someone else doing it keeps sending me into constant rages in the gym that even Kian is struggling to keep up with me. But it’s more than just about the sex. This girl trusts me enough to sacrifice potentially her future, all just to have me be the one to take her virginity. Whilst it’s a fantastic gift, I’m not sure I deserve it. Fucking scratch that; I know I don’t deserve it!

Descending into my usual dark place, it’s where my brain goes when it wants the darkness to consume me, reminding me that I don’t deserve the life I have and that I definitely shouldn’t be allowed to share it with someone as fucking amazing as my Belle. Just as it begins to overwhelm me, I feel something soft pressing against me.

Opening my eyes instantly, I look down to see Belle asleep with her head on my chest, her luscious brown hair fanned out over my skin. With her right cheek against my chest, her face is barely visible thanks to all her hair, but her even breathing and lack of movement tell me she’s asleep. She looks cute as fuck with her soft little snores as she explores her dream world. Her arm is curled across my abs as though she’s pulling herself as close as possible. This is precisely what they would look like if I had nice dreams.

Lifting the duvet cover, I honestly have good intentions of just covering us more to make sure she doesn’t get cold, but I can’t stop my breath from hitching as I catch sight of her creamy white thigh thrown over my leg. We are both very naked, and even though I’ve seen her naked more times than I can count, seeing her like this is different. She has never been more beautiful.

It’s at this moment that I remember why I said she couldn’t ever sleepover. Seeing her like this, at her most vulnerable, as well as her most stunning, makes me physically ache. I should’ve known this is the one rule I really shouldn’t have broken. But I can’t help it. My Belle makes me want to throw the rule book out the window; consequences be damned. Why aren’t I allowed just the slightest bit of happiness? Even one with an expiration date where the timer has already started counting down. I want Belle, even if it means she takes my heart with her, leaving me as nothing but a crumpled mess. It will be worth it just to know her and the fact I get to be so many of her firsts. Hopefully, it’s enough that she won't ever forget me.

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