Page 18 of The Ties We Break

Oh shit, he did mean it. Okay, you can do this, Is. It’s no big deal. I keep repeating that mental pep talk. Averting my eyes from his gaze, I remember that will probably get me into a lot of trouble. So, lowering my right hand to my pussy, I take a deep breath and raise my eyes to meet his. The resulting smile tells me he’s pleased I remembered his rule.

Once my finger reaches my pussy, I mentally run through any sex scenes I’ve read about in my books to try and remember if there's a correct way to do this. Realising Declan isn’t getting any more patient, I slowly insert the tip of my first finger past the lips of my pussy. Fuck, I really am wet. Starting at my vaginal entrance, I slowly gather some fluid on my finger before swiping up along my slit. Once I reach my clit, I’m surprised by the fact it’s slightly bigger than it usually is, and as I gently run my finger over it, I can’t suppress the small moan that escapes.

Fuck, what was that? As soon as I touch the engorged bundle of nerves, it’s like I’m being electrocuted, but in a bloody good way. I’m feeling things I’ve never felt before. There’s a part of me that wants to touch it again, to do more and see if I can provoke the same reaction, but I know Declan’s waiting. Confident I will have enough juices on my fingertip, I slowly drag it out of my pussy lips and hold it up in the air for Dec to see.

“Wow, look at how turned on you are, Belle. You are so fucking wet. Did I hear a little moan just now when you touched your clit?” he asks, leaning forward to inspect my finger like the sight of my juices is a remarkable piece of art.

“Erm, yes, I did. Sorry,” I mutter, casting glances anywhere but at Dec.

“Don’t apologise, beautiful. That’s one of the hottest things I’ve ever seen. In fact, I want to see more. I want to see you touch yourself anywhere that feels good. If you get stuck, I will direct you, but to start with, just listen to your body and do what feels best.” His words make me feel both dirty and sexy at the same time. I have played with myself before, but I have never felt anything like what I just did. I hope it happens again because I’m scared to admit to Declan how worried I am that my pussy is broken.

Moving my hand down to my pussy, I’m a little more eager to experiment than I probably should be. But, before I can, Declan stops me by grabbing hold of my wrist. My small, pale arm is encased by his large, rough hand. It wraps around my wrist easily and further highlights the difference between us. I’ve never looked more fragile next to him.

Without saying a word, he drags my finger closer to his face. Then, out of nowhere, he pulls my finger into his mouth. He just seals his beautiful mouth around it and begins to suck. Fuck, if you’d told me before that having a guy suck on your finger would feel so fucking amazing, I would‘ve thought you were pranking a virgin, but it’s true. From the moment his surprisingly soft lips clamp around my finger, it’s like he ignites all the nerve endings in my body. Each time his tongue scrapes the sides of my finger or circles the tip, I feel it deep inside my core. Then, as he licks the underside of my finger, he begins to lightly suck and nibble on my tender flesh. Before I know it, a throaty moan is ripped out of me, and I don’t even want to imagine how wet I am now. Thinking about Declan, lapping away at my pussy instead of my finger, is driving me crazy. It’s so empowering.

I have to be honest, I’ve never really seen the appeal of oral sex. Sian always says it’s because nobody has ever done it to me, and now I think she is right. All Dec has done is lick my finger and I’m holding my legs wider and hoping he will go directly to the source. But, one thing I’ve learnt about Dec so far is that he’s a rule follower. He said he wouldn’t touch me until I’d read and signed the paperwork, and despite that minor—yet, oh so fucking hot—sucking moment, I know he won't break that rule in any significant way. He wants to prove that I can trust him, and so far, he’s not let me down. Maybe if I tell him he can do it, he will?

As soon as he has finished tasting my finger, he pulls off and leans back to his relaxed pose in the chair. “Fuck, beautiful, you taste amazing. You need to get that paperwork signed as soon as you get home. Now that I’ve had a taste, I can’t wait for so much more.” His low, gruff voice sends shivers through me.

“What…erm…maybe if I–I say you can?” I stammer, and the resulting cocky smirk on Declan’s face makes my stomach flip.

“Thank you for trusting me enough to say that, but we have both drank some alcohol and you haven’t filled in the form. We have to do this properly. I need you to learn what you like first. Plus, I want to watch you touch yourself,” he explains, and with a nod of his head, he indicates I should start.

I feel like I’m learning about my sexuality all over again. I start by replicating the move I just did for Declan, hoping to get the same response from touching my clit, and fuck, do I. Reassured, I gently start to swirl my finger around my clit, embracing the feeling, and as it begins to come alive even more than before, I can’t help but squirm around on my seat. It feels fucking amazing, and I can tell my body wants more. I remember in a scene I read where the woman gently flicks the tip of her finger quickly over her clit, a bit like strumming on a guitar string, and I try replicating it. As I begin, it sends pulses throughout my pelvis and my resulting moan is loud and breathy.

My body is starting to respond in a way it never has before. The muscles in my lower abdomen start to cramp, and I can’t get control of my breathing. Breathy pants in between soft moans are all I can manage, and despite trying, I can’t seem to regain control of that or my racing heart. All the blood is rushing directly to my pussy, and I’m losing control. Yet, no matter how weird it feels to be out of control, I don’t stop touching. In fact, I continue alternating between flicking my finger over my clit and circling it before sweeping down to my waiting hole. As I slowly circle my tender pussy, it feels so tight yet seems to be screaming at me to put something inside. This is so different to anything I’ve ever felt before. Then I remember Declan’s words to trust my body and to follow the feelings. I look up at him for support, his fiery blue eyes are glued to my every move, and he gives me a slight nod.

Just as I’m about to listen to my body, I catch sight of Declan's hand moving. He unbuttons his trousers and slides his hand inside his boxers. I freeze, enraptured, as I watch his hand slowly move up and down inside his pants. I want him to pull his dick out so I can see exactly what he’s doing. It can’t be comfortable trying to manipulate his full length in the confines of his trousers. A deep rumbling groan pulls my eyes back to Declan’s, only now his eyes are closed and his face looks almost pained. As if realising I’m scrutinising his every move, his eyes snap open, and with a voice even deeper than usual, he snaps at me. “Keep going, Belle. I want to watch you come.”

I instantly begin moving my finger, dragging it up and down my slit and gently dipping it further into my pussy until I finally manage to get the full finger inside. Although the sensations are building into something more frantic, with every new place I explore, my moans become a little more frenzied, and I begin worrying about Declan's words.

“What if I…can’t…come?” I ask him in between pants and moans.

He doesn’t answer at first, so I don’t bother waiting for him. I fully insert my finger into my pussy, like I’ve read about. Then, very slowly, I pull out and begin pushing back in. I replicate the process of pushing my finger in and out a few times, but the sensations start to overwhelm me. I can’t help losing control as I slam my finger in and out in a frantic motion.

Every so often, I seem to hit a spot that gives me the most amazing feelings, and tingles erupt throughout my body as it heats like I’m on fire.

With my free hand, I reach over and grasp at the pillow on the edge of the sofa, gripping it tightly. My body feels like it’s creeping up this hill and getting ready to fall off, yet I can’t quite find the top. No matter how fast I piston my fingers in and out, it’s like I’m chasing something I just can’t catch. A defeated and frustrated groan rips through me as I slow my fingers down. I fucking knew I was broken.

“Take your other hand and touch your clit at the same time as you fuck your finger in and out of your pussy. If you can add a second finger, that will help,” Declan says softly, almost like he knows I’m frustrated.

Following his instructions, I slowly wet my second finger in as much of my juices as possible before I tentatively slide it in next to the first. Initially, it feels like it can’t possibly fit; even with just the tip in, it feels too much. So, I take some deep breaths to relax, and as the rest of the finger slides in, I can’t even describe how I feel. Despite being full and stretched, it isn’t a bad feeling. At first, there’s a bit of stinging, but that’s soon replaced by an overwhelming feeling I’ve never felt before today; tingling throughout my body, heat warming me from the inside, and generally feeling like my muscles are coiling. So I waste no time doing what I was doing before, pistoning the fingers in and out. As I increase in speed and touch that fucking marvellous spot over and over, I feel as though I am losing control. I’m frantically trying to keep hitting that spot, desperate to chase that high that feels so close, yet I can’t quite reach it.

At that moment, I remember Declan’s full instructions, and so after removing my hand from the death grip I had on the pillow, I move it down to my pussy. I look up at Declan. He’s watching my every move, his eyes now following the path of my hand as it goes to touch my clit. I notice his hand is still in his boxers, but he’s holding still. As I slowly circle my finger over my clit while pistoning my fingers into my increasingly wet pussy, a moan echoes around the room. That seems to be all Dec was waiting for as his hand begins to move again.

I watch as his hand pumps up and down, and I realise his rhythm matches my fingers. It feels as though we are connected somehow and fuck do I want more. I want him to touch me, and I want to see and touch him. I know that won’t happen today, but knowing it will one day sends shivers down my spine.

It doesn’t take long before I’m feeling things I can’t even begin to explain. I know from reading about it in my books that I’m about to reach the crescendo. My muscles feel coiled, and my body feels tense. With a couple of gentle flicks over my incredibly sensitive clit, I lose all control. My pussy clamps down on my fingers, preventing them from moving anymore, and my whole body begins to spasm. It feels like my body should be shaking, yet I’m barely moving, but I do scream. I can’t help myself, it all just feels too fucking good, and before I know what I’m doing, my moans become louder than ever before. I announce to anyone listening that I think I’m coming. It’s almost laughable because I obviously am coming, but everything just feels so alien to me. I feel so totally out of control. I didn’t know it could feel this good, but it fucking does.

As my breathing returns to normal, I notice Declan's face is scrunched up, almost like he’s in pain, and with a loud grunt, his hand stops moving. A small moan breaks from his lips as his face straightens out, and now he looks very serene and relaxed. As he opens his eyes, that cheeky, cocky grin appears as he stares at me. “Fuck, beautiful. That was amazing. You look so fucking gorgeous when you come. I can’t wait to dive into that tight little cunt of yours to taste you,” Declan growls, and I feel his words right down into my core.

Feeling far too sensitive, I gently remove my fingers from my pussy, and I can’t hold back the little moan as I free them. Although they’ve only been in there for a short while, I feel empty now. I can’t even imagine what it would feel like with a cock. “Did you just come too?” I ask sheepishly, trying not to sound naive. I’m pretty sure he did, but I want to confirm.

“Yes, Belle, I did. It’s been a fucking long time since I blew my load in my boxers,” he replies, a little unexpected chuckle following his words.

“You…erm, you could have got it out.” I try not to sound too pervy, but I really did want to see his cock.

As his snicker echoes through my brain, my stomach flips and my eyes fall in humiliation. I can’t believe he’s laughing at me. He knows how stupid I feel about all this. He must see my downcast eyes and the blush spreading across my cheeks as he replies firmly, “Belle, I’m not laughing at you. I fucking wanted to get my cock out, believe me. But I was worried that if I did, I wouldn’t be able to restrain myself, and with you, I have to. I can’t ever put myself in a position where I’m tempted to fuck you. No matter how much I want to, you need your virginity for the auction. I can’t lose control with you.”

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