Page 16 of The Ties We Break

“Listen, I’m happy to put you in the auction, but only if you are willing to work with someone to find out your likes and dislikes. I can give you a list, and you will be able to rule out a lot of things simply by the thought of it. For example, I don’t need to be anally fisted to know it’s not for me. So that would be a hard limit for me before I even do any experimenting. But if there’s a part of you thinking, ‘I wonder if I should try this,’ then they are the things you need to work on. You need to go through the list, and when you know what you want to try, I will allocate someone in the club to work with you. They will slowly introduce you to the things you want to try and help you figure out what you like and dislike. How does that sound?” As he finishes explaining, a rush of air I didn’t know I was holding onto flew out. The fact that he rejected my advance is enough to cause crippling pain and embarrassment but then add on top that I need someone else to teach me about sex. I am literally close to death right now. I feel like such an idiot right now. But I know I don’t have any choice; I need to participate in the auction.

With shaking hands, I try to keep my voice as steady as possible as I reply to his question. I know what I am about to say is risky, probably the most out-there thing I have ever done, but I also know I will regret it if I don’t. “I–I…I was thinking…” Okay, so maybe I need a little bit more build-up to get out my real question. I will go for an easier one first. “If I do this, learning what I like and don’t like, won’t it reduce my value at auction?”

“As I said before, you are beautiful enough to bring in the money you need without offering up your virginity, just throw in some light kinks, and you will have no problems. But, if you want to make enough money to cover the entirety of your med school fees and set you up for life, we can ensure you are educated without any form of penetration. There are other ways to teach you, and I’ll make sure any extreme acts involving penetration are put down as hard limits. I would do that for any virgin. Nobody needs to experience things like that for the first time,” he explains, and I audibly release a breath I didn’t know I was holding.

“Fuck, how much money do people who auction their virginity make?”

He pauses, and I can see he is biting down on the inside of his lower lip. I’ve seen him do it a few times when he is really thinking about something. “We have only done it a couple of times, and none have been as good-looking as you, so this isn’t an accurate representation. But roughly, we have seen people make between two and three hundred.”

“Fuck, but I need around thirty thousand. There’s no way I can bring in that much more than they did without offering something extra. Please, tell me what I need to do,” I beg, feeling the desperation start to overwhelm me.

“You misunderstand me, Belle. When I say two to three hundred, I mean thousand. Our last young girl, with a very long list of hard passes and red flags, managed to draw in about a quarter of a million. Depending on how much you are willing to let them do, I anticipate you will go for an awful lot more.”

Holy fuck, did he just say a quarter of a million? He was right before. Not only would it get me through med school, but it’d also give me enough money to get a house and not have to worry about money for a while. I need to do this, and if I want to bring in the maximum amount possible, I need to learn my body and quickly. Time to pull on my big girl panties and ask Declan the question I so expertly avoided before.

Taking a few deep breaths for support, I raise my head, looking him directly in the eyes as I try my hardest not to mumble. “I need to raise as much money as possible because this is a one-time thing. Having someone teach me what I like sexually and what I don’t is the right thing to do. But I don’t want just anyone. I want it to be you.”

“Iwant it to be you.”

Those words keep repeating in my mind as I stay frozen on the sofa. My brain mentally recounts all the reasons why this is a terrible fucking idea. She is far too pure to mess around with a guy like me. That’s why I pulled away from her earlier. She looked up at me with her wide, chocolate, doe eyes, and she just seemed so innocent. I can’t be the one who taints her. Or at least, I can’t be the one to make the first move. Now, she is the one outright insisting that I be her teacher. Fuck, now I’m even trying to negotiate with my own brain. This girl’s going to be the death of me.

If I whittle it down, take away all the thoughts and feelings, and ignore the fucking rock-hard erection that’s straining to break free, what it boils down to is my job. This girl needs to participate in the auction, and it’s my job to ensure she’s safe and goes home with the right guy. To do that, I need to learn what she can and can’t tolerate sexually. I’m choosing to ignore the angry sensation I feel whenever I think about her going home with anyone else. There’s no denying I’m attracted to her, but I can’t let that get in the way. I can’t be the one to help her. I look up to tell her this, but she cuts me off with the softest voice I’ve ever heard.

“Will you help me?” her quiet, timid voice asks. When I look up, I realise she has moved closer to me while I was in my own little world. Now we are sitting closer together, our knees mere inches from touching, and I can see fear and lust written all over her body. Not to mention the blush spreading across her face, making her look even more beautiful than usual. It didn’t occur to me how much courage it must have taken for her to vocalise precisely what she wants.

“I’m honoured that you would ask, but I don’t really do things like that. It would normally be a performer I would assign to be your mentor,” I gently explain and hate how her face falls.

Belle shuffles around, closing the already small gap even more, and as our legs touch, I hear an audible gasp leave her lips. She must have felt the strange bolt of electricity that also crackled all over my skin. “Oh…I–I don’t think I want anyone else,” Belle mumbles, her eyes remaining downcast as though she is embarrassed. It takes a lot of fucking guts to say that. Fuck, who am I to deny a pretty girl.

“Okay, if I do this, there will have to be rules. Understand?” I declare firmly, and she quickly nods with a bright smile etched across her face.

“Yes, thank you. I promise I will follow all your rules.”

“From now on, when we are in private you will refer to me as Sir. If we are out in public, you must still show me respect, but you are permitted to call me Dec or Declan. You must follow my instructions at all times without hesitation. We will establish some ground rules and agree on how I will punish you if you break them. Because you are just learning, the punishments will be slightly more fun than discipline. We need to find out your pain level so I can work out how to make it pleasurable for you. I will never do anything that causes you physical or emotional harm or any lasting marks we haven’t already discussed. But, I need to make sure you can follow instructions without hesitation, which is why there will be consequences if you disobey me. Does that make sense?” I question as I keep an eye on how Belle reacts. She smiles slightly with a little nod. I wait, eyebrows raised, indicating I require a verbal response.

“Erm…Sorry. Yes, Sir. I understand, Sir.” Her voice may sound timid, but she tries to sound confident. I think this girl has a lot more fire in her than even she knows.

“Great. Before we begin anything, we will need safe words. If you want things to slow down but not stop you will say ‘amber.’ If you want me to stop instantly, you will use the word ‘red.’ You must tell me if you’re not having fun or if there’s something we try that you aren’t all that into. If there’s something you don’t like and know you don’t ever want to do again, then that is a ‘hard limit.’ If you like something, for example, spanking using my hand, but you don’t want too much or too hard, then you would call that a ‘soft limit.’ I will push your limits, and there may be times that you feel overwhelmed or like you aren’t in control of your body, but I promise I will only do it to help you find pleasure in the pain. I will never cross your limits. How does that sound to you? Make sure you answer honestly because communication between us is the most important part of making this work.”

She wastes no time replying, remembering only at the last second that she must now refer to me by a title. “Yes…Sir. I must admit that the idea of pain or giving control of my body to someone I have only just met is terrifying. But…don’t ask me why I think this because I don’t know…I feel like I can trust you to keep me safe.” Fuck, hearing her say that scares the shit out of me, and as she stares at me with those big beautiful eyes, I can feel her starting to chip away at the wall I have around my heart. They’re there for a reason and will not be coming down. I need to make sure she knows this is just a business interaction.

“Listen, Belle. It’s good that you trust me; that will be essential when we get into the actual sex stuff. But, I need you to know that this can only ever be a short-term business arrangement. I’m not the kind of guy who has relationships, particularly with a girl like you.” Her face falls as the words register, and I realise that didn’t come out how I meant it. “Sorry, Belle, that didn’t come out how I intended. When I say ‘girl like you,’ I mean that you are too good for me. I have a dark and dangerous past, and you are too nice to get involved with a guy like me. So we will do this for three weeks leading up to the auction. No penetration and absolutely no feelings. Can you agree to that?”

“I, erm…I don’t really know what to say. I’m not looking for a boyfriend. I’m moving to England next month, so I don’t need any commitments. But, I want to point out that I’ve never judged you based on your appearance, and I ask that you don’t do the same to me. Get to know me, don’t just assume I’m that kind of girl. If I agree to your demands, Sir, I would like you to give me a chance to prove myself. Don’t underestimate me.”

I can’t help the smile that spreads across my face at her statement. I knew I saw a bit of fire in her earlier, and this confirms it. Fuck, I think I’m the one who needs to promise not to develop feelings. It’s not something I’ve ever had to worry about before, but I can see this petite beauty knocking down all my walls. I need to reinforce them because I can’t afford to let anyone in.

“I promise I won’t underestimate you. I’ve already learnt that in the last hour. We have a lot to learn, so let’s get started. But first, tell me what your safe words are.”

Belle wastes no time repeating her safe words back to me, including situations where she would use them, proving to me that she understands the words. I won’t play with her until she understands the words and feels confident using them. The more she recounts them, the more I’m sure she can see the pride spreading across my face as a lopsided grin. I can’t remember the last time I smiled in such a carefree way. She really does bring out a different side of me, and I’m not sure how I feel about it.

“You did well. I will send you home with the paperwork for you to review. I want you to fill it in and email it to me before midday tomorrow. I will use this as a guide to ensure we cover all the necessary areas. We have a lot of ground to cover as the auction is just three weeks from tomorrow. I have the final word over whether something goes on your list or not. You may love getting caned, but if I notice it leaves more long-term marks on your body, I will put it as a hard limit. I have to do what’s best for you.”

Walking over to the table on the other side of the room, I grab a pen and begin writing on the front of the envelope I just placed all the documents into. I notice Belle looking, and I can see she’s worried about how big the document is, but there are a lot of sex acts we need to cover. Discovering how far you’re willing to push your body and finding out what you are looking for in a sexual partner can be hard for a regular at the club, let alone for someone who hasn’t done anything sexual before.

“Erm…what if there are things in there that I…erm… don’t know what they are? What do I do then? Google?” Belle asks, looking embarrassed by her questions.

“No, definitely do not use Google. That will bring up all sorts of random results or interpretations, and they will scare you. Leave it blank and we will talk about it together. And, Belle, stop being shy or embarrassed about asking me questions. You have to learn, and you have to trust me to be the one to teach you. If you aren’t open and honest with me, as well as putting all your trust into me, this won't work,” I state as I walk back to the sofa and take a seat right next to her. Handing the envelope over, I ensure she can see the phone numbers and email address I’ve written on the front.

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