Page 55 of The Pretty Savage

She might have been willing to give me her body, to let me use her, but I suspected that if I played my cards right, she would give me everything else too. And I would finally be able to figure out who she really was.

Her disappointment in me hung heavily in the air even after she left, but she wouldn't have been disappointed if she didn't feel this same pull as I did. If she didn't feel like she would go crazy if we weren't near each other. Her parting words told me as much, and I wanted her to think I was worthy.

I wanted to be worthy of her even though she lied to all of us.

But I would uncover all her secrets.

I would figure out who Vega Konstantinova was.

And once I did, she would have nowhere to hide, nowhere to run.

The monsters living inside of me liked her. They liked her fire, her defiance, the way she spoke to me, the way she didn't care who I was. They liked what she did for them so much that they started purring every time she was close, and I didn't want to let that go.

She was mine and I was tired of waiting on the sidelines while other people found happiness, because I knew without a doubt that she was my ending.

20

VEGA

There was a war brewing in my gut, threatening to split me in two if I wasn't careful enough. There was a part of me that naively believed that Adrian Zylla wasn't as monstrous as the file I was given made him out to be. That perhaps much like me he had no other choice but to wear a mask designed to keep the rest of the world out, far away from him, while he hid his true nature from those that would do harm to him if they ever knew. From those that could use it against him if they understood what kind of a person he truly was. That part of me also believed that maybe he would see the same in me. That I wasn't just what was written on paper and that I wasn't as heartless and unfeeling as people made me out to be.

That I wasn't just the ruthless soldier, sent to kill those that The Schatten put a target on, but so much more.

I forgot for a second there that Adrian could never know who I truly was. That no matter what, he could never know who I worked for and why I was here.

If he did, he would no doubt kill me on the spot and send my head in a bag back to Heinrich as proof of what happened to those that dared to go against the Zylla family.

And that was where the second part of me came into play. The one that hated him simply for what he represented.

I didn't lie when I told him he was just like every other monster in this industry. I didn't lie when I told him he would never have other parts of me even if he used my body. That part of me wanted to destroy him, because it knew his family had something to do with Tyler's disappearance.

That part of me knew cutting off the head of one snake would mean easier access to the other snakes, and if I were to further rid this world of those that harmed the innocent, then so be it.

But as I stood here on the tatami mat, barefoot and with my arms crossed over my chest while the rest of the people came in, among them Yolanda, I realized that everything I told him held a little dose of a lie, because he had already managed to slip through my defenses and take residence in my heart.

Maybe it was the vulnerability I saw last night when he came to my bed, or maybe it was the fury earlier this morning when he attacked Dante, or the jealousy that slipped through the cracks of his personality when he forbade me from ever meeting with his friends. Whatever it was, he was already in there, and I had no idea how to eradicate his presence from my veins.

He was in my bloodstream, spreading fast like poison, and if I wasn't careful enough, he would destroy me from the inside out.

I was sent to destroy him, to figure out the secrets he was harboring. I wasn't here to fall for him, yet it was happening against my will, and I had no idea what to do with that information. I had no idea what to do with this heavy feeling in my gut, telling me I shouldn't run from the emotions he’d been awakening, but I didn't know how to accept them either.

There was no way out for me if I failed this mission, and failing wasn't something I would ever be okay with anyway.

"Hey," Yolanda said as she approached me, her face filled with worry. "Are you okay? I heard what happened earlier."

"I'm fine," I said, and I wondered if I would ever get tired of saying the same old lie over and over again. Maybe one day I would actually believe in those two words. "I have no idea what happened, but I know it had nothing to do with me."

As if.

I could recognize it for what it was, but I didn't have enough balls to say it out loud. Adrian was jealous of his friend, and he didn't know how to say it out loud, because just like me, he refused to believe in this insane connection the two of us had.

And maybe if I continued ignoring the eruption of emotions every time he was around, I'd be able to get out of this place without losing my heart or my life.

"Are you sure about that?" Yolanda asked, standing right next to me. "They saw you leaving with Adrian and coming back just a couple of minutes later, with red marks on your neck." Her eyes landed on the spot where Adrian's hand had been. "Even I can see the marks. Did he hurt you?" she asked, whispering as the rest of the students started gathering around, standing in line on the tatami. "Did he say something to you?"

"He tried hurting me," I murmured, staring straight ahead at a blank spot on the white wall opposite of us. "But I'm okay."

There it was again—another white lie.

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