So why does that hurt just a little?
It doesn’t!
I shove away the thought and return to the subject at hand. “Then what’s in it for me? How do I ‘win’ in this deal?”
“Protection,” he replies, his gaze never leaving mine now that he’s grown serious again. “We pretend to be mates for the time being so that no one would dare approach you. It wouldn’t be long. I’d already be in the running if it wasn’t for my single status.”
His plan makes sense, but my trust doesn’t come easy. As I weigh the pros and cons in my head, I remind myself of the urgent need for safety and the enemies who could be closing in on me at any moment. Rack is still out there. If I leave now, I’ll never be able to run from him. And even if I do, I don’t know how to get home – if there even is a home to go back to. I’m stuck here. At this man’s mercy.
“How do I know I can trust you?” I ask, not wanting him to sense my vulnerability, but this is a question that can’t be ignored. “How do I know that once you’ve laid claim to me, you won’t simply…force me? We’d be mated; nobody would question your right.” My voice goes hoarse at the thought of it…the thought of how close I already came to it while I was locked in that cage.
“Because….” He stops. Dark eyes lock on me for a moment before, eventually, he seems to make some sort of decision. I see his throat work as he swallows hard. Whatever he’s about to say is going to come at a cost…to him. “Let me tell you something about…about my past.” His voice is low, surprisingly husky. He pauses again as if still not sure if he wants to continue. Then he forges on. “My mother was an omega. Gentle. Kind. Loving…so lovely. She and my father were inseparable until…” His throat works, and I give a hesitant smile, sensing the depth of his emotion. And I’m surprised at this revelation. Omegas are rare; not as rare as my bloodline, but with their extreme fertility, they’re highly sought after.
“There was a pack war. My father died,” Jagger continues. “Afterwards, they put pressure on my mother to find another mate. Available females like her were in demand. I’m sure you know what I mean.”
I nod, silently urging him to go on. I don’t trust my voice right now – whether it’s due to anger or a strange sense of pain that I’m suddenly beginning to feel for him.
“She refused.” His jaw clenches. “She never got over my father. Even though an omega doesn’t need to be fated to find a mate, they always believed they were destined for each other. True mates. She was broken. But the others…” His chest rises as he takes in a breath. “The other males didn’t care that she was grieving. They gave her no choice, and it cost her her life. She was killed by unmated alphas.”
“Oh God, Jagger…” My voice is husky. I’m not sure what to say.
“I watched those monsters fighting over her, Sierra, tearing her apart. I was a boy. And I was helpless. So fucking helpless.”
The pain of that memory is etched on his face so clearly that I can almost feel it myself. I reach out to touch his arm, but he pulls away, shaking his head.
“My pack threw me out. An orphaned alpha pup didn’t fit in with their plans. And nobody would vouch for me. So I lived out there alone.” He jerks his head at the window. He’s not talking about the community we’re in. He’s talking about beyond. About the place where wolves are lawless. Wolves like the ones who took me. “I never forgot her. Never forgot what they did. And most of all, I never forgot what males like me are capable of. That’s why I took a vow that I would never take a chance on harming a female.” He looks at me. “I never wanted to release that side of myself.”
“I- I’m so sorry, Jagger.” My chest is tight.
He jerks one shoulder up into a half-shrug. “It’s in the past. But it molded me. When Titer’s pack took me in, I swore I’d never let anything happen to any one of them – female, male, young ones. They’re my family now.”
When he stops again, I feel the gravity of his words sinking in. No wonder he’s so fiercely protective. The vulnerability he displays is unexpected, yet it shows a side of him I hadn’t seen before – one that far outshines the appeal of good looks and a beautiful body.
And I find it irresistible.
“I…understand,” I say softly…because I do. There are a lot of things I’d like to do to those who took me from my family. None of those things would be gentle.
“I want to become the leader of this pack so that I can keep them safe.” His dark eyes glitter with sincerity as he goes on. “Titer’s a good male, but he doesn’t get it. He thinks there’s nothing to worry about, but he’s wrong. There are more, just like those who killed her. Bands of males who are ruthless and brutal, who see females as worthless aside from their ability to breed.” He pulls in a breath. “I just can’t seem to make him see that.”
“I believe you.” When I say it, surprise suffuses his features. “I- I was taken by one of those bands.” His eyes narrow on me. “It was a rogue pack, not just a band of stray males,” I whisper. “The leader…the one who took me. He…he…” I pause, not able to go on for a moment. “He wanted me to…service him and his men. To give them pups.” My hand subconsciously goes to my neck, rubbing the spot that still refuses to heal. I remove my fingers abruptly. I don’t like the idea of anyone knowing what was done to me. I barely understand what it was myself. Just that whatever they put under my skin was unnatural.
Jagger’s eyes flash with anger, but he doesn’t interrupt me. He simply listens as I recount my harrowing experience, his jaw clenched tight.
“They came to our pack lands…the strangers. While Pops and my brother were tending the fields. We farmed there, and—” I stop, not sure that I want to reveal too much about my home yet. If they’re still safe, nobody can know. Even this male, who seems like I can trust him. It’s never safe to trust anyone. “I was drugged. When I woke, I didn’t know where I was. They kept me in a cage when I wouldn’t…wouldn’t submit.” The thought still makes my stomach churn. The memory of Rack’s breath on my face, his touch on my skin. And how my traitorous body had responded. It was so wrong. All of it.
“That’s how you ended up in that warehouse?” Jagger’s eyes are on me.
I nod. “I escaped. I’d done it before, but somehow, they always found me. So they kept me chained and locked up. No food. Little water. They said they’d keep me like that until I gave in.” Anger rises. “I wouldn’t.” The memory of how they’d tracked me with that damned device burns me. It’s why I’m like this now…weak. Probably why my wolf won’t show herself. Maybe she’s traumatized. I know I am.
“Then you tried again?”
“I never gave up trying!” My hands curl into fists. “And it paid off. I got out. Then you found me.” A strange sense of gratitude swirls. I’ve found comfort with this enigmatic man since I’ve been here. I feel myself softening a little more.
“You never have to go through that again.” He reaches out, then pulls his hand back. I know he does it to reassure me that he meant what he said, but somehow, I don’t feel threatened anymore. “I would never let that happen to you, Sierra.” His expression is intense, earnest.
I stare at him for a second, taking this in. He looks different somehow; still Jagger Law, but the rough edges seem to have softened. And he shares my pain in a strange sort of way. What Rack did to me…and what those wolves did to his mother. I fight down a lump in my throat, fight down the urge to touch him. Instead, I draw in a deep breath. Maybe this isn’t such a terrible idea. Maybe this is just what I need right now to take the pressure off me.
Maybe I should do it…