Page 51 of Savage Temptation

Besides, my father knew I had landed my dream job, and it filled me with pride that I could prove him wrong. Now all I could hear was his toneless voice saying he’d see me when I fucked it up.

I guess that would be now.

Somehow, going back to Jacksonville seemed like the short end of the stick as opposed to going back to AD to face Liam with my tail between my legs, like the not-good-enough-girl I was.

All I needed was to refocus, get my head buried far enough into the job, and dismiss everything else. With that plan set and locked into my brain, I cried myself to sleep again, promising this would be the last time.

My efforts to forget my dire decision-making were shattered all night long. Each time I moved, I felt the ache between my legs. I still felt him everywhere and probably still would for a couple more days.

This small physical pain didn’t hold a candle to the torment racking through my soul, yet it was a harsh reminder every time I succeeded in pushing those thoughts away.

Without much sleep, I got to AD earlier than ever, deciding to clutter my mind with the Verten project. The next meeting was just around the corner and I had to be prepared to make my pitch so bulletproof that it would resist even the blast that was Liam’s presence.

Years of degrading words were hard to erase, and before I knew it, I was falling back into that dark pit of emotional abuse as I worked on auto-pilot.

I’m not classy enough.

I’m not from a wealthy family.

I’m not talented enough.

I’m nothing. Nobody. Not good enough.

Not. Fucking. Right.

There was anger in my thoughts, too, curled around the pain. I gripped the pencil tighter, the tip breaking at the exact moment Liam came into sight. Of course he looked like a fucking gift from the Gods.

My eyes locked with his, the pain in my chest crippling my senses. I forced myself to tear my gaze away, averting my eyes back to the stack of floor plans on top of my desk.

What are you? Stupid?

“Good morning, Jamie.” Liam was standing right in front of my desk, his voice calm and low. There was pity in it, just as I’d seen in his eyes when he saw me. I didn’t need that shit. The only thing I needed was to be left alone.

“Good morning, Sir,” I replied between gritted teeth, not bothering to lift my eyes back to him.

Liam lingered there, looking at me, waiting for fuck knows what while I pretended he wasn’t there. As soon as he turned on his heels and barricaded himself in his office, I sprung from my seat, shooting Alison a text saying I was coming down, and stormed out.

Alison: Good. I have an invite to give you.

I had no idea what she meant. Alison saw me coming before I called her, her smile vanishing from her face as soon as she took in my blood-shot, puffy eyes. Alison grabbed my hand and pulled me towards a window, far from the commotion of the center bullpen.

“Hey? What happened? What’s wrong?” Her arms were tightly wrapped around me, my tears freely falling onto her shoulder.

Pathetic. There goes the last-time promise.

I let myself soak in her comfort before pulling back and cleaning my tears with the back of my hand.

“Is this about that guy you say doesn’t exist?”

I nodded, clearing my throat before speaking, “I’m done. He said I wasn’t right for him, so I’m done.” I admitted, leaving out all the compromising details that would only make me look even more stupid. Who even falls for their boss anymore?

Alison sighed heavily, pulling me into another hug, rubbing my back in soothing circles, and somehow pulling more pained words from me, “I’m not going to grovel to make someone like me. He clearly doesn’t care about me, so I need to shut it off, too. I need to stop caring.” I pulled away to look into her eyes, “How do I stop caring?”

“I don’t think that’s how it works, Babe.”

“Shit.” I covered my face with my hands, embarrassed to have been so naive.

“Ice cream and a depressing chick flick at your house at 9. I think that’s the standard first step.”

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