Page 89 of Not Over You

I fished my handkerchief from my back pocket and wiped her face. “Blow.” I held the cloth to her nose.

She blew her nose and scrunched her face.

“That’s so gross.” She shook her head and removed herself from my lap and scooted to the edge of the bed.

I missed her pressed up against me.

She pushed her hair out of her face and ran her hand through it. It was thick and curly. She used to wear it short, it was longer than I’d ever seen it. I grabbed a handful and turned her face to me.

“How do you feel?” I massaged her scalp.

“Better.” She stood up and I followed. She stepped in front of her dresser and leaned in to peer at herself in the mirror. She grabbed a tissue and wiped her face. “I look awful.” She pouted.

I stood behind her and frowned.

She turned around and leaned back against the dresser. She crossed her arms over her chest. “I didn’t think you were going to make it.”

“No way I’d miss my best friend’s funeral.” I shrugged. “I just didn’t know if I would have to go AWOL to do it.”

Her eyes grew twice their size and Ciara had the most beautiful doll eyes. They were brown, but gold flecks lightened them in the sun.

“Thankfully, I didn’t.” I grabbed her arms and uncrossed them. I hated her being closed off to me. “They gave me leave. I was in D.C. when your dad called me. A few days away from leaving for another month. It worked out. I have to meet my team tomorrow.”

“Meet them where?” she asked.

“I can’t tell you that.”

She shrugged and turned back to face the mirror. She grabbed a brush and ran it through her hair. She made two passes before her arms dropped to her side.

I took the brush out of her hand and finished brushing her hair. It was therapeutic, taking care of her. It always had been. I looked forward to Saturday mornings, watching cartoons and eating a bowl of cereal to tide us over until Mrs. Irby woke up and cooked the whole gang a huge breakfast.

My happiest memories were from those Saturday mornings.

I smoothed out her hair and gathered it in the back. She handed me a holder and I pulled her hair through it twice and tightened it. I placed my hands on her shoulders and inhaled. She smelled like flowers and vanilla. She smelled like home.

She stiffened. I gave her a reassuring squeeze and stepped away. She grabbed a makeup brush and held it to her face and stopped.

“You don’t need it.” I took her hand and led her back to the bed to sit down. “You’re beautiful just like this.” I ran my thumb down her cheek and pinched her chin. I fought the urge to lean over and kiss those soft lips. I recalled the last time I kissed her in vivid detail. It was highly inappropriate, and I shouldn’t have taken it from her, that first kiss. But something about her birthday and the night. The way she looked in a yellow party dress surrounded by her friends. She was the same girl I’d carried on my back when she got too tired to walk.

Like me, the only place she truly belonged was with us. The guys. We were family more than our parents and siblings. Ciara was very much a part of our crew. We all felt it. We also knew it would take all of us to get over losing the person in our family who linked us all to each other.

Without him, it fell to her.

I squatted in front of her and ran my hand down her calf. She shivered. I picked up a shoe. The black heels were a far cry from the Converse tennis shoes she wore as a kid. Even with dresses.

“I don’t want to wear those.” She kicked her feet out of my grip.

“You’re not wearing tennis shoes.” I grabbed her foot and put them in the shoe. “Even if they are your signature style.”

She giggled and it was the best sound I’d heard since the last time I heard her laugh. God, it was a gift.

I put the other shoe on, stood up, and grabbed my coat.

“We better get going.” I grabbed Ciara’s hand. She pulled back. I held firm. “Ciara.” The bass in my voice didn’t have the same effect as Roman’s, but it cleared her head. She blinked and pouted, but it got her to move.

We headed out her bedroom door to the top of the stairs. The guys stood near the front door at the bottom. She gasped under her breath. I gave her hand an encouraging squeeze and let go. She gulped and proceeded down the stairs.

She fell into Michael’s outstretched arms. He kissed the top of her head and held her for a moment. Next was Sean. She stood in front of Roman. Peering up at him with those big brown eyes. He stood with his arms crossed over his chest. She gripped his arm and stood on her toes. He leaned down slightly, and she kissed him on the cheek.

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