Page 826 of Not Over You

CHAPTER 8

JAXON

They told me the chances of her waking up were slim to none. But as I stare at Summer sitting up in her bed and talking, it shows that she beat the odds and proved them wrong. I’m quiet as her mother helps her adjust her pillow. “How are you feeling?” I ask.

“Tired. Which is weird, considering I’ve been asleep for the past year.” Her voice sounds low and scratchy. I’m guessing it’s from the tube that’s been down her throat. “And the number of doctors and specialists visiting me is overwhelming.”

“They just want to make sure you’re okay, sweetheart,” her father responds.

Summer glances at me. “Mom, Dad, could you two give me and Jaxon some time alone to talk?”

I can tell they’re not happy about her request, but they agree and leave the room. “I can’t believe you’re awake.”

“Yeah, me neither.”

“Summer. I’m so sorry. All of this was my fault.”

She shakes her head. “No. None of this was your fault, Jaxon.”

“Yes, it was. I was the one driving while drunk. I should have known better.”

“Jaxon. You have nothing to feel sorry for. I’m the one who should be apologizing.”

“Why would you need to apologize?”

“You weren’t drunk.”

“What?”

She takes a deep breath. “I slipped a pill in your beer.”

Confusion sets in. “Come again?”

“My memory is foggy, Jaxon. But that I remember. I remember being so scared that you would leave me and the baby, and I’d be left with no help. No support. I knew you didn’t love me. And I didn’t love you either. But marrying you made me feel secure. I thought that maybe we could learn to love each other. I remember you looking so unhappy. I just wanted to lighten your mood a little. Give you something to relax so that we could finally have some fun together.” I think back to that night. I left for only a few minutes to use the restroom. I told Summer to hold my beer until I got back. She continues to speak. “I’m sorry, Jaxon.”

“Summer, do you realize how much guilt I have been feeling since that night? I thought I lost my sister and child because of my stupidity? Do you have any idea the guilt and shame I felt every single time I came to see you?” Her eyes fill with tears, but they don’t fall. “I…hated myself for what happened.”

“I know. I heard it all, Jaxon. Everything.”

“Wait, you could hear me?”

“Not in the sense of what you’re thinking. It’s like I was in a deep sleep but could hear the people around me talking. I could hear the pain in your voice. I could hear the regret. I could hear you and my parents talking. I also heard the music.”

“They weren’t sure if you could hear me or not.”

“I could.”

I stand and approach the side of her bed. “I would have taken care of you and the baby.”

“I know that. What I did was reckless.”

“I could have gone to jail. My sister was killed. Our baby was killed.”

Her tears fall. “I know,” she whispers. “If I could take it all back, I would. Jaxon, I’m so sorry. For everything. It’s because of me, our baby died. And your sister. Please forgive me.” She continues speaking when I don’t answer her. All those times you would sit with me, I would scream to get your attention. I was yelling as loudly as I could that none of this was your fault. But nothing would come out. You couldn’t hear me. And all this time, I’ve had to live with what I did internally and unable to speak to anyone about it or confess.”

“We both made a mess of things.”

“Yeah, we did.” A moment of silence goes by. “Mom tells me we’re divorced.”

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