Page 5 of City of Salvation

LIAR, LIAR, DISH TOWEL ON FIRE

“Shit, shit, shit.”The acrid scent of a burning dish towel filled the kitchen. “Where the fuck do I set this?” I yelled, to absolutely no one. Steam intertwined with smoke as I doused the polyester fireball in what was supposed to be my boiling pasta.

A sound that was somewhere between a growl and a scream escaped from my lips, and I stamped my feet like a toddler, blonde locks slipping free from my claw clip as I hung my head. Dammit, how could I not even make fucking spaghetti?

“This is why Ryan and I always ordered out. Neither of us can cook for shit,” I muttered, pouring the ruined dinner down the sink. An unexpected knock at the door had me jumping. Apprehension crawled along my skin, leaving a wake of raised hairs. I’d been on edge ever since the shit eight weeks before.

Mario might be dead, but he’d never been my Boogeyman, so it did little to ease my nerves.

I inched along the wall to peek into the lookout, relief rushing out of my lungs when it was Ryan on the other side.

“How did you know where I live?” I asked, pulling the door open.

She let out a huff of disbelief, shouldering past me. “Oh, please, Nikki. You think I couldn’t find your ass?” She looked over her shoulder at me, cocky grin on her face. “I looked for the trail of fuckboys walking out of an apartment close to La Victorias. Why didn’t you give me your address, by the way?” she asked, wrinkling her nose at the smoky scent.

Or maybe the face was in response to the fact that I hadn’t told her where I lived. I hadn’t toldanyonewhere I lived now.

“Damn. I’m really that predictable?” I asked, skipping the last question and joining Ryan on the couch. “Well, I’ll have you know that not a single dick has been in my apartment.”

Ryan gave me a look of shock, her eyebrows up in her hairline. “Are you unwell? Joined a convent? Your waxer on vacation? Like, your pussy has just got to be confused,” she sassed, her hand resting on her heart as if she were scandalized by my lack of fucking.

I swatted at her. “Stop making that face. You’re going to give yourself wrinkles, and listen, Mrs.I’ve-got-my-man-groveling-on-his-fucking-hands-and-knees-with-this-tongue-buried-in-my-pussy,not all of us have a man at the ready.”Ryan choked, her mouth falling open.

“Yeah, that’s exactly how Gunner likes you to look at him.” She flipped me off, not fighting her smile.

“Oh, please. You’ve never wanted a man at the ready.”

I pushed away the thought about how, at one time, that was exactly what I’d wanted—before I’d learned what a weakness it was to let people in. A risk I wasn’t willing to take, which was why I was pulling away from Ryan.

“I call it like I see it. And I’m doing just fine in the dickdepartment,” I said, smiling as I stood to grab us drinks, needing to move away from her before she caught something in my face that told her I was holding back.

The woman was like a damn lie detector when she was in her interrogator mode. Which wasn’t usually a problem for me, but it seemed she was changing our status quo.

i.e. Me.

Iwasdoing fine in the dick department. As in, I was fine not getting any dick lately. There was no way I was bringing a random ass man to my new place. It was one thing when I lived with Ryan, who was in the cartel and would literally threaten them with a gun when it was time for them to leave. But now it was just me, and I couldn’t afford to let someone I didn’t know into my space.

And I only slept with men I didn’t know.

No attachments or commitments. That was the deal—always.

“What are you doing here?” I asked as she reached for the canned margarita I’d brought her.

She reached into a bag I’d missed her holding, pulling out a stack of envelopes and boxes. “Bringing you your mail and shit. You know you and I can still live together?” she said, frowning.

“Please, you and your man wanna bang on every surface and at any time. You don’t want me there,” I said, noting how the room had that undercurrent of tension again. Like a splinter under the skin, small but uncomfortable.

Threatening to lodge in deeper.

I swallowed down the heartache. After telling Ryan the shit I had about my past, I knew I needed to pull away from her, put some distance between us. Letting us get close was a mistake. A mistake I was aware I was making, though I hadn’t cared enough about the consequences at the time.

Now I need to re-establish my boundaries. It was better for her, too, because I had no clue what Yuri’s next move was. My gut had been turning for weeks, and I wasn’t going to be able to pretend my past wasn’t catching up to me much longer.

Denial was my best friend, but I was going to have to part ways with that bitch soon. I’d already started to feel as if someone was watching me. Maybe it was paranoia, but I knew Yuri was bound to rear his ugly head soon. The worst part was that I didn’t know how or when.

Smiling, I took a large drink, hoping it would help ease the chaos swirling in my brain. “And listen, I’m a down bitch, but I don’t really wanna watch your man’s sweaty balls bounce off your cheeks,” I added, keeping my voice cheery and light.

“Nikki, I fucking swear.” She threw a pillow at my face, and we both burst into laughter.

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