Page 77 of City of Salvation

Unshed tears lined the rim of her eyes, and she studied my face, dragging the tips of her fingers everywhere her gaze lingered. The emotion in her expression gutted me because it looked like a mournful goodbye.

“That wasn’t part of the deal, Dex.” It came out as a whisper. “We fucked. Nothing more. I thought you, of all people, would understand. I’ve never offered anyone any part of me other than my body.”

What she said sounded hollow—rehearsed—but that didn’t matter to me at the moment, my emotions were too frayed, and I lashed out.

Anger bubbled up inside me, working its way up to erupt at her, since I had nowhere else to put it. I dropped my holdas if she’d physically burned me, blanking my face. Every bit of warmth leeched from my body, leaving nothing but a cold shell.

“Fine, Nikki. That’s what you want? A single fuck to get me out of your system?” I bit out the words.

The thought of only having her once was like a knife to the heart, but I couldn’t give her more of me if she didn’t want it.

A sob fell from her lips, her body curling in on itself like she was seeking protection and comfort. I wanted so badly to wrap her up in my arms and tell her it would be okay.

“It doesn’t have to be the one time, Dex. Why can’t we fuck and be friends or whatever this is that we have.” She motioned between us.

I flinched away from her hand when it came too close to my bare chest, and she dropped it away, crestfallen. I couldn’t handle her touching me, or my resolve to give her what she asked for would break.

I’d end up stealing her away, locking her up like Rapunzel in a tower, but that wasn’t what either of us deserved.

“No. Choose, Nikki,” I said in a pained voice, backing away from her, each step like a knife to my heart. “If you want to work through this alone and not let the people who care about you in, fine. That’s your choice, and I don’t ever want to take away your choices. But it’s not only your wants and needs in this. I have to make a choice too, if you’re not going to let me choose you. Because life is too short and too precious to be led around by the dick. If you don’t want the man attached to it, that’s fine, but this won’t be a repeat, spitfire.”

My lungs seized as I reached for the knob, pulling the door open before leaving without a backward glance.

How ironic, I got what I usually wanted—one fuck, and then they’d leave. But this time I wanted the woman to stay.

Because this time, I loved her. And I was pretty sure she loved me too—she just wasn’t ready to admit that.

The slam of the door was like a gunshot—right to the heart.

CHAPTER 32

NIKKI

BOE, YOU’RE A BITCH

The numberson my screen read a little past one in the morning.

I hadn’t seen Dex since he’d stormed out.

“Fuck,” I muttered when the waterworks appeared for the fifth time. “It’s better this way. You were getting too close. I mean, look at you, crying over a man. We said we’d never do that again…”

I let the words trail off. My lids fluttered shut but quickly opened again—every time they closed, all I saw was the look of hurt before Dex blanked his features completely. That empty look was so chilling, the room might have dropped in temperature.

He’d texted me, telling me he wouldn’t be back tonight, and that Torque would take me home after his fight. But there was no fucking way I was going to ride home looking like the mess I was with one of Dex’s club brothers. My phone vibrated, letting me know that my driver was here to pick me up outside the club gates.

“Where you going, Nikki?”

I nearly jumped out of my skin at thevoice. Boe walked out of the shadows near the gatehouse, looking menacing in the low lighting. The hair on the back of my neck stood on end and I willed my body to keep walking backward toward the car.

“Just going home.”

My fingers wrapped around the door handle. Boe hadn’t made any sign of moving toward me, but that did nothing to calm my nerves. I didn’t trust the guy—there was something off about him. Question was whether he was just a creepy fucker, or an actual threat.

“I’ll follow you home. Make sure you make it back safe,” he said, his smile making my heartbeat tick up.

“No need. I can manage on my own.” I pulled the door open, moving around it to slide into the seat.

The corners of his mouth only pulled up higher. “I insist. Dex will have my balls if I don’t make sure you made it back. Lead the way.” He walked a few feet over toward where his bike was parked, not waiting for my response.

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