Page 56 of City of Salvation

LET US LIVE SINCE WE ARE DESTINED TO DIE

“You’re lying.You let hiswifeenter the private dance room instead of you?” I asked, sucking down the last of my milkshake. We’d pulled off the main road and parked out in the desert to finish our drinks, and I was doing everything in my power to stop thinking about how it felt dangerously close to a date.

Nikki’s laugh bounced around the parked SUV. “Of course I let her in. That asshole was stepping out on his wife.”

“Aren’t most of the dudes in there doing that?” I didn’t condone cheating. It was why I made it so abundantly clear to women that we weren’t a thing. My eyes landed on Nikki, the setting sun washing her in warm light.

She made me rethink my stance on relationships. I had no clue why that was, but being around her made me feel like I was alive—bathed in her sunlight and warmth—and I never wanted to leave.

She pinned me with a look. “She was eight months pregnant,” Nikki said flatly. “And if I know they are in a relationship, I won’t take the dance. When she came in earlier in thenight asking about the asshole, I instantly knew I was going to help her.” She looked down into her cup, smirking. “Ryan threatened to beat him up.”

“She could do it, too. Fucked up Torque. I still don’t let him live that shit down.”

We both broke out in a fit of laughter that faded into a comfortable silence.

“Hey,” she said, her voice small and unsure, the opposite of the verbal jabs she’d been delivering only moments before. Without thinking it through, I brushed a strand of blonde that had managed to break free, tucking it behind her cute ear.

Fuck. When did you start noticing ears? And why are you not imagining the sounds you could pull from her if you sucked on that sensitive part of her lobe…okay, now you are.

She broke the daydream. Piercing blue eyes held mine, a mixture of uncertainty and determination in her gaze. It was a look that made my heart race.

“Remember the other day when we were in the kitchen?” she asked.

The memory of that day had left an indelible mark on me, etching itself into the corners of my mind. Of course I remembered. I’d never witnessed someone move as beautifully as she had in that moment, when she seemed to pour out her soul, barefoot, in the dingey apartment we were hiding out in.

But I didn’t say any of that.

“We’re in the kitchen together a lot, Nikki,” I said casually, turning my body in the seat so I could watch her facial expressions.

She seemed to grow frustrated with my response, her nose scrunching up in a telltale sign of annoyance. I watched her closely, determined to unwind her tangle of thoughts and feelings.

Force her to share, no matter how stubborn she might be.

And if that meant playing the part of a dumbass to get her to spell out what she wanted, then I would do it every fucking time.

As she clenched her fists in her lap, I could see the storm of emotions swirling beneath her composed exterior. She turned fully in her seat. Her unwavering stare told me she was on a mission. It was a silent challenge, a dare, and I was more than willing to accept it.

“How did you know?” Her determination was so fucking cute that it eclipsed the worry in my gut with what she was asking.

Truthfully, we’d both been raw with our emotions that day. Even though we hadn’t discussed them, we’d allowed one another to witness something private.

“What do you mean?” I asked, leaning back and trying to hide how my heartbeat had kicked up in my chest, my palms growing damp.

“How did you know I would sit in the shower in the dark?” she asked, so quietly I almost didn’t hear her.

The question was a punch to the gut.

“I, uh…” I scratched at the back of my head, stalling. At the time, my heart had decided to speak before my mind could intervene, revealing a secret I hadn't intended to share.

Silence stretched between us, unspoken truth handing heavy in the air.

It wasn’t an easy answer to tell.

I knew I had a choice to make. I could lie, brush it off as a lucky guess, and protect the fortress around my emotions—but I knew that would set us back. All the small morsels of herself that she gave me would stop dead in their tracks.

In that moment, I realized that getting to know Nikki and letting her in mattered more than locking up my own demons.

She didn’t push me when I let another long stretch of silence grow between us. Instead, she reached her hand over and interlaced it with mine. Her unmarred skin was a stark contrast to my inked fingers, and I liked the sight of our joined hands more than I should have.

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