Page 38 of The Mobster's Nanny

“Well, I don’t know if it will make you feel better, but you were wrong all along,” Matteo finally says, coming to a stop next to the footboard and turning to look at me over the bed. “I remember Hank, and I remember what exactly happened to him. He came to our doorstep looking for a way to earn respect on the streets and make some good money. And, yes, I was the one to accept him. He was a diligent worker, but he wasn’t careful enough.”

Careful? I frown and sit up on the bed to get a better look at him. What is he talking about? Does he think I’m going to believe whatever story he wants to tell me to make himself look good?

“At the time, we heard rumors about a new gang of criminals from abroad getting settled in Chicago. Hank volunteered to find more information about them—if he succeeded, he’d be promoted to a full-time member of the clan.” Matteo sighs and pushes his hands into his pockets, looking to the side.

“I wish I could tell you everything went as we had planned—but unfortunately, they caught him, and before we could do anything Hank was already dead.” He moves his jaw around unspoken words, looking pissed, before slowly turning back to me. “If you think his death meant nothing, you’re wrong. We mourned him just as much as we did any other member of the Messina Clan. As for your thirst for revenge…”

He huffs.

“A few months later, we found out that the gang was coming from Mexico. It was the first time we heard about the Escarra family. So if they were the ones to tell you that I killed him…” He shrugs. “Believe what you want to believe. Just know that the people behind your brother’s death are the ones who are using you to get to us.”

With that, Matteo finally turns around, leaving me with my throat tight and my mind in complete chaos. I stare at his back with wide eyes, not knowing what to say. Should I stop him? Should I try and talk to him? But there’s nothing left to say—except for one thing.

“You know.” Matteo suddenly pauses in the doorway and, holding onto the frame, turns around. His smile is sad, and his eyes look straight into my soul. “I actually thought you were the one for me. I guess we all make mistakes, huh?”

What? What is he saying? The air gets caught in my throat, and my vision blurs as he says it. But by the time I blink out of it, Matteo is already gone, and my whole life is turned upside down.

Chapter 13 - Matteo

“Papa, are you okay?”

I blink, coming back to my senses, and look at Romeo in confusion. What did he just say?

“You’ve been mixing eggs for eighty seconds now.”

He pointedly looks at the whisk in my hands, and I follow his gaze and automatically stop whisking. Damn, I kind of spaced out there for a second…or a bit longer. Wait, was he counting time?

“Oh, yeah, sorry,” I say in a hurry, instinctively wanting to make up for my silence and look around. What was I doing? Right, French toast. “Have you seen the bread? I’m sure it was somewhere…”

My voice trails off as Romeo pushes the loaf of bread closer to me. It was lying right next to the open pack of eggs. Goddamnit, what’s wrong with me today? I shake my head and turn around to look for the pan. I really should stop thinking about her—it’s all over now. Finished. Nada. She’s not a part of our life anymore.

“Is it because of Miss Liss?” Romeo’s quiet voice interrupts my thoughts again, and I still for a moment, crouched in front of the shelves of cookware. How does he know everything?

I don’t know what to say, though—I don’t really want to bring it up again—so I dig out the pan and turn to the stove. It’s been less than a week, and I can see that Romeo is still hurting as well. He misses her, maybe even more than I do. They had an even deeper kind of connection than Liss and I did—which makes me all the angrier at her for betraying him.

“I want her back too,” Romeo murmurs after I say nothing for a long moment, busying myself with the milk and egg mixture.

When I glance over my shoulder, I see him lying with his head on the counter, his arms crossed and his cheek resting in the crook of his elbow. His expression is sad and longing, his feelings open in a way only a child can pull off, and it squeezes my heart even harder. Sometimes, I think maybe I shouldn’t have pushed her away, just to keep Romeo happy—but I couldn’t trust her with his life, not anymore.

“I’ll find you another nanny,” I say with a tense smile in a fruitless attempt to cheer him up. I don’t think it’s gonna work, but I have to give it a shot. “You won’t be alone this summer, I promise.”

“But I don’t want another nanny.” Romeo immediately purses his lips and looks up at me with a grumpy frown. “Miss Liss promised she wouldn't leave me, and I believe her. I know she’ll be back.”

Oh, why does that make my heart ache again?

“Romeo,” I say slowly, thinking how to go about it, but he fervently shakes his head, curling his hands into fists.

“I know what you’re gonna say, but I trust her! I know she’ll be back!”

How on earth am I supposed to tell him that he can’t trust Liss anymore and shouldn’t have since the first day she showed up? I couldn’t even find it in me to tell him that I was the one to fire her—even if I never said it out loud, I think it was clear that Liss had no place in our life anymore. I told Romeo that she had to take a break instead of admitting that she would never come back to us, and now it’s firing back at me.

It hurts to even think about telling him the truth, so in the end I just give him a small, joyless smile and nod. “Of course, you’re right. Let’s just wait and see, okay? But until then, you have to try and get along with the nannies at daycare.”

I give him a pointed glare, and Romeo puffs up his cheeks and looks away to scratch Dolce behind the ear. “They’re boring and dumb. I don’t like them.”

“They’re very nice young ladies, and you shouldn’t call them names just because they don’t know your favorite video games.”

At that, Romeo pouts and demonstratively turns away from me, and we spend the rest of the breakfast in grumpy silence. Any other time, I’d probably try to brighten up his mood and make him smile again, but these days it’s too hard for me to even pretend to be positive. My heart is bleeding, and Liss’s absence follows me like a ghost.

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